They tell her Tinder sucks, all the while with eyes that never leave the screen, thumbs that never stop swiping. Vanity Fair writer and editor Nancy Jo Sales interviewed dozens of twentysomethings in several states as well as assorted academics and experts for this in-depth September 2015 report on dating apps and hookup culture.
Read it here: Sales, “Tinder and the dawn of ‘the dating apocalypse’”
- When it comes to heterosexual dating, women and men tend to have vastly different experiences, expectations, and attitudes, and Sales’ article reflects that divergence very clearly. How fair and equitable is her discussion of the two poles of the gender spectrum? Does her treatment of men and women display any bias or prejudice toward one gender? Point to examples to support your conclusions.
- Sales presents an abundance of evidence from interviews with Tinder users and academic experts in a variety of related fields. How well does her report weave together those two types of evidence? Should she have included more or less of one type? Would her article have been better if she had used only interviews? Only expert opinions? Explain your response.
- Read (or re-read) Clive Thompson’s essay in Chapter 17 of your text. Thompson, writing about chess, is a passionate defender of technology. What might Thompson say about the chess game (if we may call it that) of Tinder dating? Why? Point to passages in his essay that might demonstrate his attitude.
- Sales’ interviewees present a broad spectrum of experiences and opinions. Whose statements resonate most with your own experiences and point of view? Whose statements resonate least? Have you used Tinder or a similar dating app? Why or why not? What has been your experience with meeting potential dating or hookup partners? What might you have said if Sales had interviewed you? Choose two interviewees as your They Say, and write an essay responding to their statements and presenting your own views on dating apps and hookup culture.
They Say I Blog 
Stephanie de Souza
The article starts off by saying that alcohol, tobacco, sugar is a toxic that is addictive , which means you canjt stay without it. The devices all day uses to lean a position toward this topic was that she explained how sugar is in most of our food. They have different names such as glucose,fructose,maltose,hydrolysed starch. She advised us to eat less, because she argues that even in our diets we have sugar like in cereal , ect…. Allday proceeds saying that companies shouldn’t ban sugar products because its not the companies fault. The majority of people who get sick with diabetes and other illness blames sugar but its not sugar that causes according to allday. When people get obese for example after test they tested not to be sugar causing problem. Allday stood her ground in her position not to ban sugar products. She ended saying that food is already limited and that she is trying to end this argument.
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Gfd
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I think that its neat that older and even younger people can find someone special for themselves through apps and technology. On the other hand I also think that it can bring danger to good people that are just curious. All in all i think that it is okay to use technology to meet others, as long as you are able to look into the people before going to meet them first hand. To look out for yourself, you should run background checks. You don’t want to end up meeting with someone who is not who they say they are.
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I never thought that this was a good idea. I miss the face to face meetings. Some people have told me that I am too young to be that old, to be against online dating so much. I just do not think a person can make a good perspective of a person by reading about them. I think there is no since in making time for someone you met on line and find out that this person’s body wash you do not like. Or maybe you cannot stand the way he or she walks. All of those questions would have been answered if a person would have already met the person face to face in the first place.
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What does it say about today’s younger generation that they don’t want more intimacy or knowledge? Combine this with the attitude that there is “always something better” to be had or do, and you end up with not only a lack of commitment but an complete inability to do so. I see this in all relationships, not just dating. try to do something as simple as scheduling a cookout weekend after next. The most common response when people are asked to attend is “I don’t know what I’m doing that weekend”. Well… if you commit to the event, then you would know what you are doing, right? however, when pressing in this fashion you often get to the root of the problem. That something better might come along and they don’t want to be committed elsewhere. I feel that the technological advances of the day perpetuate the social attitude of waiting for something better by allowing the opportunity to engage while continuing to look for something better without commitment or consequence.
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With all the mobile dating and “hook up” apps the future of dating might be doomed. Men no longer have to “date” women to mate, now they can swipe their phone screen and find a partner for the night everyday. Women who are looking for decent men that care need to stay far away from mobile dating because they’re more than likely only going to get hurt. I think this will cause serious problems for the future of our generation because it could cause many men to only look at women as “options” instead of a life long partner.
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In today’s society it’s okay to just hook up and leave it at all. Many people are using social media, like Tinder, to meet people and have a one night stand. I think it’s sad that men aren’t making women a priority anymore, all they care about is making sure they are satisfied without really knowing who the other person really is. How do you know it’s safe, you’re talking to someone that you think you know, but in reality your being catfished. Dating isn’t how it used to be, meeting people through family and friends, it’s all about meeting people in these dating apps and just hooking up. The internet has changed the dating game big time, people don’t have the same morals anymore when it came to dating and that’s sad.
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After reading this article I can see how marriages and relationships are failing. It appears as if no one wants to put in the work to have a healthy relationship. If getting around and sleeping with whoever finds you attractive is a dangerous game. Most women from my experience if they were to sleep with someone even if it’s understood to be casual sex usually it’s something more. I would say that “Tinder” is worst then someone who sales their body for sex. It’s not dating it’s a sex app that causes addictive behaviors leading to more health concerns. What examples are we setting for the younger generation and how would you want your children to find a partner or mate. Just something to consider
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This article talks about Tinder and dating apps and how easy it has become to find relationships and sex from a phone, and how these dating apps and sites have taken away from the seriousness of relationships and meeting people. They compare how easy it is to find sex to finding a cheap flight to Florida, which is absolutely crazy. Its good that people can find relations online but it has turned into people trying to have sex.
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Its really crazy to hear that we have apps like tinder to hook up. I dont know if that’s the best idea but its there and why not use it. In my opinion, I rather meet someone face to face instead of using an app to meet someone; the reason being this will kill our communication skills and the professionalism meeting the person and holding a conversation. Also it’s more awkward when you meet someone online and then arrange a meeting somewhere. That’s when we are killing the communication skills.
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As an 18-25 year old I am extremely old fashioned. I prefer face to face and phone conversations to text and instant message. Even more so when it comes to the intimate world of dating. Dating to me requires an intimate knowledge of a person. I have never been one to have a casual or non relationship. My old fashioned ideals may seem antiquated but to me the idea of the hook up culture we are living with seems to impersonal and very dangerous. As a woman you have to think about who you date, having prior knowledge of the person makes protecting yourself from a dangerous situation much easier.
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I have never experienced Tinder myself due to I am happily married for 14 years, before this dating app ever began. I believe that a dating app is a bad idea all the way around. I believe you need to meet the individual face to face and get a sense of how they truly feel about you. No person ever wants to be just a hook-up they want some type of connection before giving someone their most intimate self. People are to rushed to hook up before they learn about the other individual.
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girls refer to boys as fuck boys who just want sex who does not try to get to know them or even take them on a date. At 18 or even 21 no relationship is worth taking serious because 9/10 were all still growing and trying to figure out who we really are
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I personally don’t think it’s safe to use a dating website to meet people. It’s dangerous and I would much rather meet someone face to face then online. Their are individuals that meet with these strangers online and come up missing. I know it might be popular in today’s society to meet someone but look at the risks. Meeting someone face to face and courting is old fashion to some but it’s okay for me and safe. Likewise so many individuals are in a rush to be in a relationship that they do not take the time to get to know the other individual and because they did not take their time many relationships end. What happen to the old fashion love? because this new type of love in the present sucks just my opinion.
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In Nancy Jo Sales, “Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse” It is saying talking about how some people are just using this dating app to find a partner and have sex with them then sometimes that is all. Personally, I wouldn’t use a dating app because I’d rather be face to face with the person from the beginning of the relationship to the end. There’s no way you a person can want to have sex with somebody before having an actual connection like face to face. Yes, I do agree with them saying that dating apps are taking away from the actual values of a relationship. I also wouldn’t use a dating app because of the show Catfish. Reading this article gives me more thinking on why certain relationships are actually failing now. There might be some positive things that come out of using a dating app; that is if people are using it for what it is intended for.
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Todays society is very fun society and teen agers are down to partying and having sex and just enjoy their life. There are some people who are lonely and doesn’t have so many friends and money. They also want to enjoy and find someone to have fun with and I think this websites have helped so many people and it is a good thing in a way. It can also be dangerous too so be careful and be safe. The person you are meeting could have disease and that might affect you but if you are careful and if you are doing things the safe way it is good for you.
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This is a technology driven world/society we live in today. Most human interaction occurs through a screen of a electronic device, and online dating is a huge example of this society we are living in. Nowadays people would rather search for their future wife, husband, “sex-buddy”, girlfriend, boyfriend etc. by searching a username into a field on social media apps. I mean, if you like meeting up with random people, not knowing what that person is capable of or having (cough, cough..aids, and furthermore) then do your thing buddy. But all in all, I don’t think dating apps is a good idea. It just goes to show you how brainwashed we are by our devices.
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OMG!! This is one of the best blogs that I have ever read. Honestly, it all just worries me, and makes me really sad. The average of young people do not want to pursue a good relationship when they meet someone that they like. They are not looking for love, for a partner who they could possibly spend the rest of their lives with. I think that most of those people just want “to hook up”, because they are escaping from getting “hurt”, but I don’t know what’s hurting them more, if having sex with a complete stranger and not seeing them again, or actually falling in love with someone who doesn’t want anything serious and ending up getting hurt. I think that everyone has the right to live their lives however they want, and do whatever makes them happy. I think that people conform with whatever they have been seeing their whole lives, and because of this they do not want to try anything else. Like for example, a guy who has been told his whole life to cheat on girls, to just “hit it and leave it” because that is what’s best, the only thing that this guy knows is that. He hasn’t tried a relationship with a girl who could be more than a lover, could be his friend, his right hand, his support.
It is a huge topic, and there are thousands of reasons why people choose to have just sex and not a lasting relationship, but in my opinion, technology (dating apps specifically) are a main cause to this apocalypse of love.
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I think the evolution of online dating and match making is extremely dangerous and lazy. I believe we are slowly but surely drifting away from all human to human contact. We are definitely in a race against the machine, even when it comes to love. Chivalry is dead and courting is as well. I look at online dating the way I look at arranged marriages. Why let a computer tell you who you are compatible with? Get out there and find love the way you were intended to, on your own.
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Dating Apps are a new way of impersonal connectedness for all who seek it.
What I mean by that is we as a society have become more and more distant from one another thanks to dating apps, Facebook and let’s face it people would rather text one another than simply speak face to face or on the phone.
The sad part of this reality is that we are becoming more and more disconnected from one another and from things that are happing around us. So we can now order take out from our phones, check personal and professional emails from our phones, we can shop from the phone. There is an app for everything nowadays, dating apps are not being used for what was intended. Yes, you can scan profiles pictures quickly and look at made up attributes to draw you in but you have no idea who you are really conversing with do you.
Recent headlines report about Craigslist hookup gone bad, as I mentioned above people are desensitized every day more and more so having a supposed dating app turning into a hookup app for sex is not so surprising after all.
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In Sales’ biased article, it’s made clear that men are only into hook-up dating for the “sport” and women only do so when they don’t have time for commitment or are trying to focus on their careers. In the case of internet dating, it’s an equal playing field. Instead of portraying women as victims of internet flings or one-night stands, they should be viewed as willing participants. The very beginning of the article includes a comment from a woman that the man in one profile “has Dad bod,” and all of her friends claim that Tinder “sucks” but yet continue swiping through potential matches. Internet dating is a victimless crime. To put it any other way is ignorant.
Being in a generation of selfies, it’s common to see profile pictures of women in their underwear, bikinis, or low-cut shirts. Unfortunately in the case of internet dating, women who seem to have self-respect seem to get less attention than those who flaunt their “assets.” The way you portray yourself dictates the type of attention you receive. As stated by Jason, the Brooklyn photographer, “some guys might take the wrong idea from it” if women are flaunting their sexuality in pictures and profiles. The women in the article who were interviewed and claimed their disgust at the messages they’d received likely have questionable content on their profiles.
If you learn anything from this article, it should be that the two sexes have extremely different views of dating apps and taking ownership of their actions. Almost all of the men in the article boast about how many women they had relations with because of dating apps. Among the group of three men first presented, one slept with five women in a span of eight days, and another slept with 30-40 women in the past year. However, barely any of the women disclose how many hook-ups they’d had. Women are obviously using dating apps and taking men up on their offers. They’re just less likely to admit it, and more likely to downplay their participation.
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I agree with Kimberly Wells. It is not safe to meet somebody online. You have television shows such as “Catfish” that comes on MTV that shows the dangers of meeting somebody online. The days where individuals used to meet through mutual friends or even just out in public out of coincidence seems to be in fact dead. Meeting someone online seems to be the thing today, and that’s very dangerous.
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I will have to agree with Erica Gordon because she stated “It’s rare for a woman of our generation to meet a man who treats her like a priority instead of an option.” I am able to relate to her quote because I have sadly been in that same position. I liked this guy and thought he felt the same but I guess he didn’t because his friend told me he was just looking for someone to have sex with. This made me feel like I was nothing but a piece of material because he was doing the same thing to other girls also. I disagree with Marty on the fact that he lies to girls that he can be boyfriend material when all he wants to do is just have sex. This just shows disrespect not only to the women but also to yourself because you are ruining a woman’s life. I have never used Tinder or any kind of dating app, because I believe there are way to many people out there who are trying to cat fish us, or are just looking for people to hit it and quit it. Now my friends on the other hand do have Tinder, and it consumes their social life. They are always on it looking for someone to talk to, when they could be talking to one in person that is near them. Like I said before I have never met anyone online due to the fact of being cat fished like my little cousin, and I will never use any type of online dating or meeting site to find someone.
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I agree with Tanner Jennings. Online dating is not very safe let alone play with somebody’s feelings and use him or her for sex when meeting them. Even though online dating is unsafe, you don’t know what can be going on in the heads of some of these men and women on these sights. Say you meet a girl on tinder or whatever the site may be, and you use her sex and never talk to her again. Now she’s most likely heart broken and not feeling good about herself. That doesn’t benefit her in anyway, that only benefits yourself. And that is one of the main problems with all these dating sites. Women thinking that they can find their next prince charming not knowing what a man’s intentions really is.
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Jennifer Baptiste makes a valid statement that both older and younger people are able to meet someone they may connect with, but they do need to watch who they are talking to. Jennifer’s statement about doing a background check is going to be the safest way to make sure the person you are talking to is not a creep or some killer. I have heard about way to many people meeting someone online and when they meet up with that person they are not who they say they are.
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I agree with Glenda Harris the most. She makes a very valid point that, “Online dating is like an arranged marriage.” Why would you want someone to tell you who is good for you, instead of you being able to go out and explore who you think is best for you. Face to face conversation is much more effective than an online chat or text because you are not able to tell how they carry themselves or when they are kidding or not. I am a very sarcastic person and people are not able to pick up my sarcasm very well over a text. Also online chatting and dating is very dangerous because of the cat fishing.
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I have one experience using tinder which was when I was single and my friends told me to get the app. After doing so, I had no interest in using it. Looking at someone’s face through a picture for a brief few seconds isn’t enough to begin a relationship nor do I have any interest in hooking up for a one night stand. Currently, I’ve been in a relationship for 10 months and do not plan on ending it. I met my girlfriend through work, in person, or as Sales herself puts it, “The dinosaur-like rituals of courtship.” Before, I used to get texts from a random girls my friends would hook me up with, I would go on dates with these people and it never worked out. In Sales’s view, “Meeting through the internet is changing the way we act romantically and sexually.” Sales is right that meeting through the internet is different from meeting someone in person. Although meeting someone online may be easier, I can say that from my own experience, as mentioned earlier, I’ve been in a 10 month relationship with someone I met in person rather than through an app. I should also mention that its the longest relationship I’ve been in, compared to those with people I’ve met online. (Usually only 1-2 months.) Getting to know a person, face to face, while actually seeing and speaking to them gives a person a better understanding of who they really are and, if the two click, will lead to a more intimate relationship with one another. I agree with Glenda Harris, because of dating apps we are drifting away from human to human contact. People need to get out and find somebody on their own and not let a machine decide for you. William Cunningham has a point, if a person wants to look up their partner online and go into a relationship or one night stand with some stranger than so be it. I say you should at least know who you’re going out with by actually meeting the person face to face before committing to anything.
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The three people that were interviewed basically said that out of all the women they met on Tinder they used for sex. They each had different methods. One got straight to the point, one enticed women, and one played the “boyfriend” role. As for myself, I can’t relate to them in anyway. Yes I have met females over social media but I have never been on a dating site such as Tinder or anything else. And I do not think that it is necessarily right to use women for sex let alone on a dating website. You don;t know what could be going on in these females heads in reality, you don’t know what they can be thinking. And that’s scary. If I was being interviewed I probably would not be able to relate to any of the questions he asked them because as I said i have never used a dating site, at all. So yeah.
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Dating apps have become the new thing and has potentially destroyed any hope women still had in men. This article makes it known what the men are doing on these dating sites. women are making themselves available to men whether they think they are or not. Just like the one story said, the women made the comment “I did not mean to sleep with you the first date.” Men have a way of coaxing it and getting us to believe they want more then a one night stand. I really liked the phrase they added in about how women are no longer a priority but just an option. These sites are giving men the impression that there are so many people out there they have yet to meet, making it difficult for them to want to settle down. This may sound stereotype however, it is known that girls prefer relationships over hooks up. This new generation is making it very difficult for us to find a genuine guy and the funny thing is guys get offended when we say that. Personally yes, I do have a tinder but not for the purposes in this article. Just coming to college I created it in order to meet new people and I agree the comments you get from some men are crude. I think that it comes down to one simple thing; men do not respect women anymore and women need to learn to respect themselves.
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Tinder some people love it and some hate it, but we all have tired the app out. Tinder is great to meet new people and develop relationships but not everyone has the same goals as you while using the apps. Ever since the online dating craze has started there have been dangers and we need to be careful who we talk to. The main reason why most people download the app is that we are sacred to go out and meet people. When we could just stare at our phone and click yes or no. Technology is killing our social skills and tinder is just another example of this.
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sballantyne@stevenson.edu
Nancy Jo Sales provides an interesting article, which shows we cannot deny that technology is opening up the spectrum of how people may look at, as well as attain new relationships. To begin with, as I read though the article one important question appeared in my mind. Is it morally degrading to look at someone simply for sex? While there are men that may treat women solely as a piece of meat, many have forgotten to also criticize women for the same motive. I agree with Michael Marrero that “the two sexes have extremely different views of dating apps and taking ownership of their actions.”
Everyone has a voice and what we say needs to be heard. We all have our beliefs on the topic, but no single point is greater that the rest. I say that the internet gives you the liberty to connect with new people. It is true that there are many ups and downs to online dating. And I agree with Glenda Harris, when she states that “the evolution of online dating and match making is extremely dangerous and lazy.” In other words, Harris believes that the internet is not safe because you don’t know the true intentions of the people on the other side of the screen. However Harris overlooks what I consider an important point that we all need to recognize. It is the person who chooses to create an online account, who is putting themselves at risk. They are making the final decision to connect with those strangers.
We interact with new people all the time, whether it be at school, the mall or even online. Communication is how we connect. It is because of communication that me make friends, foes, or lovers. How we communicate, whether it be face to face or online are the choices and decisions we make, that reflect on our own actions. To conclude, if people want to connect with others online, it is their choice, and not for us to judge.
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A number of people have recently suggested that dating apps such as Tinder are “the dawn of the apocalypse.” It has become common today to dismiss online dating however, while the older generation seems to disagree with it, the newer generation seems to be totally on board with it including myself. In his most recent work,Justin Bishop offers a harsh critique of online dating because he thinks “sex has become so easy.” He goes on to compare it to “online shopping” for girls that use it all day during work or school. This is why people need to get back to the real world with face to face communication. It is too easy to convince a girl to have sex over text, which is why personal communication is the best way to go. Tinder is ok for making new friends, but long term relationships need to be made by real world meet ups, rather than liking a girls tinder page and asking if they want to hook up.
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in discussion of the dating apps and hookup culture issue has been they focused on that it’s easy to find a relationship through apps and social media’s.on the other hand people argue that using apps to find partners are dangerous. there are many apps that people use to get involve with relationships like Tinder and dating apps and it shows how easy it has become to find relationships and sex from a technology , and how these dating apps and sites have taken away a lot of lonely people. There are some people who are lonely and doesn’t have girlfriend and money. They also want to enjoy and find someone to have fun with.
my view is that this websites have helped so many people and it is a good thing in a way that people are using it to find partners.even tho its dangerous to find random people online but i believe there is a lot of right people looking for a right person.
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When it comes to Tinder, each gender has a different role that they play to meet new people. Nancy Jo Sales discussed how men aren’t looking for anything that’s serious. For example, Sales interview men and they said, “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me to care more…and I just don’t.” My view is that Sales’ treatment of men and women display bias are towards one gender, I say this because women are following the actions of men. My view is that Tinder is easy for men to seek pleasure than women who are trying to seek a relationship. I agree with Tynan because online dating is a dangerous. I also agree with Kayla Adkins that talking on Tinder isn’t the best place to meet new people.
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I also agree with Tanner that online dating is not very safe. Because it has become so popular now, there are many fake accounts which can be very annoying/not safe. Furthermore, the pictures that people make as their profile may not be up to date, so the person you may be talking to may look completely different. Moreover, Tinder is also dangerous because people may lie with regards to having STDS or not. They may just be desperate and be looking for hookups. In conclusion, Tinder is a great way to meet new people however as it comes to hookups, it is completely not safe.
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in discussion of the dating apps and hookup culture issue has been that the article focused on that it’s easy to find a relationship through apps and social media’s. on the other hand people argue that using apps to find partners are dangerous. there are many apps that people use to get involve with relationships like Tinder and dating apps and it shows how easy it has become to find relationships and sex from a technology , and how these dating apps and sites have taken away a lot of attention for single people. There are some people who are lonely and doesn’t have girlfriend and money. They also want to enjoy and find someone to have fun with.
my view is that this websites have helped so many people and it is a good thing in a way that people are using it to find partners, But i still believe its dangerous to use them now because there is a lot of random people which you never met them or see them before in reality.
I totally agree with Tanner because now days online dating is not safe at all . Because many people are using it now therefore you cant know which is real or fake accounts.there are a lot of people who use fake account and fake photos to get other people attention.
I also agree with Glenda Harris, because She made a very clear point about Online dating.she said that using online dating is like arranged marriage.” you should’t look around online to find the best person for you . its better to go out and explore who you think is best for you by Face to face and have a great conversation and talk about your relationship together and see if he/she is your type.
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Tinder is an app that allows you to “hook up” and meet new people. It is an online dating app that many people use in today’s society to find ones personal interest. Men and women tend to have vastly different experiences, expectations, and attitudes. The article does a great job of connecting with both genders and giving examples of their personal interests. The article states, “Guys view everything as a competition” this is more of an opinion because not every guy is like that and just want to get to know people more. Women tend to view it differently, a 29 year old New York women said, I call it the “Dating Apocalypse” referring to the expansion of online dating. This article gives many examples on how both men and women view dating apps such as tinder. Personally, I agree with most of the article especially with some of the headlines including, “Sex has become so easy”, “Hit it and quit it”, “Boom-Boom-Boom Swipe”, “Too easy” in general, and the big one “Catching Feelings”. All of these make scene and are relevant to anyone not just tinder or online dating users. The biggest concern in today’s society is not only the “Dating Apocalypse” but the entire idea of “Are We in a Race against the Machine” meaning.. is technology and or online dating taking over our lives and if so, how can we change it.
i want to comment on Jennifer’s Baptiste’s post. I agree how she states that it is a neat thing for people to find a match through technology. But it can also bring in danger to anyone. The point is that you just have to be careful who you choose to be partners with.
Another comment I want to make is on Glenda Harris post,I truly agree how we have stepped away from face to face contact and its drifting away from humans as online dating is becoming popular over time. We are truly racing against the machine.
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Nancy Jo Sales says tinder sucks but they wont stop swiping. they all swipe on the faces of strangers in which they might have sex with later that evening. “Guys view everything as a competition”, he elaborates with his deep reassuring voice. “Who’s slept with the hottest girls”.
Kayla Adkins says both younger and older people are able to meet someone they may connect with, but they do need to watch who they are talking to. She’s heard of a way to meet someone online and when they meet up in person they aren’t who they say they are. Of course many will probably disagree on the grounds that some people are actually really who they say they are.
Erica Gordon says that it is rare for a woman of our generation to find a man that treats her as a priority instead of an option. They are always on it looking for someone to talk to when the person they could be talking to is right near them.
I say that dating websites should be banned from everyone’s use because they cause a lot of drama towards some peoples lives. It can also put some peoples lives in danger because of the information that’s being put on a website for random people to see.
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A number of interviews have recently suggested that online dating and dating apps such as Tinder are causing a “shift towards short-term dating”. This is a result of the increased volume of men looking for intimate encounters and “women [being] forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.” As much as it disgusts me to say this, I agree. Let’s be clear, we all do make our own decisions and aren’t in any way obligated to go along with the transitions of sexual norms, but when hooking up is becoming the main source of “instant gratification” where else are people to turn to? It is, however, disappointing to reflect on the society we are all a part of and wonder is this really what we’ve become? In order to obtain “a validation of your own attractiveness” you have to be willing to submit to sexual encounters planned with a stranger 10-20 minutes before hand?
In agreeance with Glenda Harris, we are in a race against the machine, even when it comes to love. With the emergence of new technologies that allow different ways of meeting new people, we seem to be taking the dating aspect out of play which is also why there have been an increased number of divorces.
I disagree with Tynan DeShields though because it isn’t always about trying to make yourself feel good or trying to hurt the other person. Both people engaging in such encounters meet online and as consenting adults they make the decision to be intimate with each other. Honestly, how much is someone realistically trying to have a serious emotional connection with someone when they’re giving up their body’s to someone they probably met less than a day ago. In the field of dating, websites mentioned in this article aren’t going to suit what some are looking for but they seem very efficient if casual sex is just what is being pursued.
Surprisingly, Sales’ article was very fair to both sides of the gender spectrum. Her extensive interviews to obtain a variety of opinions and experiences, without disclosing any of her personal ones, leaves an emptiness of bias throughout her article. She gained information on the male view and the female view but if there was a way to further improve it I would suggest maybe interviewing the people who have been hurt by online dating. Like the women Marty hooks up with after he “sort of [plays] that [he] could be a boyfriend kind of guy but then they start wanting [him] to care more…and [he] just [doesn’t].” I truly feel bad for those girls and I feel like their insight in an article of this nature is essential in order to fully understand all the aspects of online dating.
To conclude with my opinion though, some may agree with Sales, some may not, but I am disappointed that people have lost so much respect for themselves that they can engage in such an encounter with a stranger and that in itself reflects their lack of respect for others. It also points out a lot of hypocrisy though because all that seems to be on social media nowadays is “successful relationship goals” and when you’re hooking up with randoms you just met 5 minutes ago it seems like your only goal is to not get an STD or pregnant.
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I agree with Sales when she makes her point about how “sex has become so easy”. Since the hookup culture has collided with dating apps, relationships are becoming more common and new people are meeting all the time. People that used to meet through family and friends are now meeting though the internet. I don’t like the idea of online dating or`dating apps because they are misleading but I understand why they can be beneficial.
I agree with Kimberly Wells in her view of how she doesn’t personally think it’s safe to use a dating website to meet people. I could never be so confident about the person enough to actually meet them in real life.
Along the same lines, Michael Marrero argues that Internet dating is a victimless crime. Some people are on these websites or apps looking for a life long companion, and some just want something for the night. Here many people would probably object that this is ignorant and online dating is dangerous. I would never consider online dating because i know that actually meeting somebody face to face rather than from behind a screen would make me feel a lot better.
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When it comes to Tinder, each gender has a different role that they play to meet in order to new people. Nancy Jo Sales discussed how men aren’t looking for serious relationships. For example, Sales interview men and they said, “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me to care more…and I just don’t.” My view is that men and women display bias are towards one gender, I say this because women are settling less for men. Since Tinder is easy for men to seek for sex, women settle for sex than a serious relationship. Since you don’t know who the really person is, I agree with Tynan that online dating is a dangerous. Although I agree with Tyan, I also agree with Kayla Adkins that Tinder isn’t the best place to meet new people. I say this because, there is hidden information that you haven’t learned from that person yet. Therefore, the person that you will meet won’t be the same person that you thought he or she will be.
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In the article the “Tinder and The Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse”, Author Nancy Jo-Sales writes about how Technology is growing, and is becoming a new way of forming relationships. She states in the article “perhaps 50 million on Tinder alone are using their phones as a sort of all-day, every-day, handheld singles club, where they might find a sex partner as easily as they’d find a cheap flight to Florida.” This shows how technology is growing, and people are seeking relationships through their phones, and it is becoming a daily activity for single people in America. The Article also states that ““New York guys, from our experience, they’re not really looking for girlfriends, they’re just looking for hit-it-and-quit-it on Tinder.” This shows how although some may be using this app for a relationship, most find it is just for sex. Tinder and other dating apps are great and all but they are really just a quick hook up. Nevertheless, users of dating sites will probably suggest otherwise and argue that these apps are a good way of finding new relationships if people know what they are looking for. There are still good people out there who genuinely want a meaningful relationship. The bad should not outweigh the good.
As dating apps and technology grows, I believe that these apps can be used for good if people use them the right way. I agree with one blogger Kaltum, where he states “even though it’s dangerous to find random people online I believe there is a lot of right people looking for a right person.” Dating apps can be scary, but there are still good people in the world. Not everyone is abusing the use of dating apps. Another blogger Glenda states “I look at online dating the way I look at arranged marriages. Why let a computer tell you who you are compatible with?” I feel that although this may be the case, even if someone uses online dating they are not jumping right into marriage. People need to learn to use dating apps the right way. I know plenty of people who have successful relationships for dating apps/sites. People need to learn to find someone online, but then take that connection online, and take it into the real world, and begin an actual meaningful relationship.
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Yes online dating gets people to connect at any age and it is easier than the classical way of dating. I agree with Kayla Adkins, it is safe to do a background check and all of that to make sure they are who they are and so on. Tiffani Mills says that online dating sites like tinder are used for intimate relations for short term periods. I disagree, while men do look for short term relationships like a “one night stand” or a “fling”, there is a very solid amount using these sites to find “the one”. And it turns out to be a one night stand when they may realize they are not the one.
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To be honest, no one in this article resonates with my own experience. Simply because online dating is not an option for me and will not be. It is just not a safe option in my eyes. When people turn to online dating, that is a personal decision and what happens and how they may feel about what they are doing to themselves is strictly their fault. Yet some readers may challenge my view by insisting that I do not know how to live as a college student. But I seriously disagree with them. My view about app dating or online dating is not worth it especially if you see multiple people on a daily basis. I think the only reason why people online date has a lot to do with low self esteem, bad experiences, troubled backgrounds, no self respect, or just as something to do when their is nothing to do. Especially those who are having sex with anybody. However, I agree with Mrs. Sales with the subtitle of “Sex Has Become So Easy” and when she says “tinder and similar dating apps are just a quick hookup”. Since the apps are just a hookup that explains why sex today is so easy. Sex is so easy today because people let it be so easy. I say this because if people were not involved in tinder or other online dating apps they would not have to receive messages like “Wanna fuck?’ ” says Jennifer, 22. Or messages like “Come over and sit on my face,” says Ashley, 19. So what people just was a quick sexual encounter, that does not mean a man or a women should always want to be a “hit and quit”. There is no reason that if people make clear about specifically what they want then maybe people are looking for different things
What ever happened to people having morals? What about having values of life? Needless to say, some people do not have morals or values of life. Maybe it is that they have nothing else to do, so they just give themselves to people which is not good. Me personally, I have had good and bad experiences with meeting people. I have not met anybody online. All the people I have met were in person. As I met those people we held conversations to tell what we are looking for and if we had different views or wants, we would just leave it. But maybe that is why people do online date. I say this because many people online date because it is easier for people to be able to see that they are not looking for a relationship or just want sex because it is clearly written in words on their profile.
I TOTALLY agree with McNair when he says “I never thought that this was a good idea. I miss the face to face meetings. Some people have told me that I am too young to be that old, to be against online dating so much. I just do not think a person can make a good perspective of a person by reading about them. I think there is no since in making time for someone you met online and find out that this person’s body wash you do not like. Or maybe you cannot stand the way he or she walks. All of those questions would have been answered if a person would have already met the person face to face in the first place.” It is true, who in the world just wants to read about a person and you actually do not know them. You do not know if they are lying, if they are truly who they say they are. You just never know what people will do today because no one is safe. The way I think, I do not just think about everything just in that moment, I think about everything and the long term affects if any that could partake in my life.
I also agree with Elianis Rodriguez. I say this because it shows that our society today is trash- to see how bad it is falling apart and the horrible decisions is sad. Its sad because it shows exactly what I was explaining in the beginning of my blog that the people today have no morals or values of life and just want to take the easy way out and not actually put anything in a relationship. Its sad because things could be so different and have great outcomes with meeting face to face and getting to know their partner.. The real them to be exact. But they will never know what it feels like to do that because turning the internet and apps is more “efficient” because it gets the job “done”. But really, it is just taking the easy way out.
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Tinder is a very good app for any guy/girl that is looking for a “hook-up” and “hook-up” only. Men have the expectation to just “get” with the girl they match with, meanwhile girls on the other hand use tinder to find a boyfriend. Guys do this stuff because they want to see how many girls they can sleep with as a competition. I agree with what the article says especially with the headlines “Sex has become so easy”, “Boom-Boom-Boom Swipe”,”Hit it and quit it” and others as well. I agree with Kevin and how he agrees with Jennifer on how online dating apps is very convenient, but they can be very dangerous and you got to make good decisions in who you choose to match with. I also agree with Glenda along with Kevin, because we as a human race prefer using the online dating than face to face interaction.
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Sales has two types of interviewees, the academic experts of the field, and the actual users. She ties these two together well enough by providing the experts view of the fact that this type of hookup culture has been booming since the 20’s and is due to the young confident and free people who use technology to do it these days. The people she interviews and asks such as the three males Dan, Marty, and Alex are proof of the young and confident. Although this does leave women feeling devalued because of the fact that the next one is one swipe away.
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In today’s society people believe it’s okay to hook up and leave it at that. Many people are using social media, and dating apps to meet people and to have a one night stand. It’s twisted and messed up that men and women aren’t making each other a priority anymore and that they look at each other as if getting with each other is a game. With social media and dating apps people are becoming more selfish and only looking to satisfy and benefit themselves. People can hide a lot on the internet so do you really know who you’re meeting and hooking up with. Dating isn’t what it once was and that’s because of the internet. The internet has made communicating with people around the world so simple with the touch of a button. The whole world and the ways people live their lives has changed because of the internet not just for dating but just how people live their daily lives.
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In Nancy Jo Sales “So Easy”, an article in which she goes about elaborating on how tinder and dating apps or websites are taking the place of intimacy and true relationships. While Christopher Ryan, a co-author of “Sex at Dawn”, “Human beings are not sexually monogamous by nature”. This is a very controversial statement that also relates with the purpose of this article. While men may feel the need to “spread his seed” to continue on with life, in no way does that mean, to me, to have multiple partners or have sexual relations with someone unknown from a cellular app. This particular act of both women and men is leading to the downfall of genuine connections and intimacy. This occurrence does, however, make sense due to state of our current society, which is focused around technology. As much of our lives are beginning to be lived through the internet, computers, and cellphones, of course sexual relations fall into that category. We can buy clothes, order food, and find partners. These things are contributing to our (disappointing) evolution into an even more technology driven and materialistic society. Sales has multiple interviews with people in which all of the interviewees state how they just want to elope with someone, and that be all. This is very contradictive of the point of humans being alive on earth. The natural order of things is to fall in love and to then elope, but now no one seems to have time to fall in love, morals are becoming distorted and love is becoming a blurry memory.
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In this article it talks about how obtaining sexual desires from dating apps has gotten easier. In reality people have forgotten how to really handle these kinds of relationships and as the article states, they are just there to “Hit It And Quit It.” With this happening, people have a hard time determining reality from fantasy. Younger teens will think “oh he/she really loves me,” but the sad truth of the matter is that as soon as the other party gets what they want they will take off. I have witnessed this happen time and time again through the experiences of my friends and family and have realized that dating apps are just disasters in the making.
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Online dating has become the new phenomenon or trend. However new research proves that online dating can be very unsafe and deadly. Let’s face it, society and this generation now a days are in such a rush to find love that they will do any and everything to be happy. Teenagers are getting plastic surgery to age themselves a good 10 years, premarital sex is the new trend, degrading songs are defining and shaping our society, and online dating is “better and quicker”, than meeting someone face to face, simply because this generation is so out of tune with putting their phones down to engage in an intellectual conversation with another human being. I agree with Nancy Jo Sales, Woman look for love to fill a void in their life or to genuinely find someone to make them feel complete, while Men look for love to add another body to their list or to find someone to baby them like their mother used to do. A man wants to be catered to 24/7 as does a woman, but women tend to fall quicker for the slick talking guy who melts her heart, rather than genuinely looking for a man who can provide for her every needs and cater to her for the rest of her life. A man clicks on a woman’s profile only if she is attractive, meanwhile they will glance at her bio, not truly caring about what she has to offer.
I agree with Elianis Rodriguez and Michael Marrero. Rodriguez states, “I think that most of those people just want “to hook up”, because they are escaping from getting “hurt”, but I don’t know what’s hurting them more, if having sex with a complete stranger and not seeing them again, or actually falling in love with someone who doesn’t want anything serious and ending up getting hurt.” Getting hurt is a part of life, you have to get back up, dust it off and keep moving. Sex should be something shared between two people who are either married or established a connection deep enough to express that type of love. Sharing your body with a complete stranger is disgusting and sending a bad message to young girls in this world, and when someone has no sense of self-worth, they tend to keep doing the things, that are not good for them because they feel good for only a moment or feel like that person truly cares them, when 9/10 they don’t. Marrero states that we live in a “selfie generation”, where everyone is so consumed with themselves and no one really knows the real “you” anymore. People put up a front to become something they are not just to fit in and conform to society’s standards. For example, the MTV show Catfish (a show about online dating through Facebook), has sparked numerous controversy and opened the eyes of millions around the world. It takes a second to change your identity on social media, to become someone else simply because you are not happy with who you are. If God made no mistake when He created you, then why be something you’re not only to please people who do not care about your well-being? Be careful who you give your heart to, because the grass is not always greener on the other side and not everything is what it seems to be. Not everything is what it is cracked up to be, so do not rush love, let someone come to you and if they truly love you, then you will genuinely be able to love that person back, if not more. If everyone is looking for love in all the wrong places then, is love meant to make one happy for a lifetime or to fill a void by giving someone 15 minutes of pleasure?
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