MG Siegler’s snarky title frames an ongoing drama in which we are all actors, willing or otherwise; day by day we redefine our relationships and our lives with new technologies. Siegler is a San Francisco-based journalist whose work appears frequently on TechCrunch, an online technology-oriented news source, blog, and information hub. He is a frequent tweeter and a prolific blogger (parislemon.com), and as his article mentions, is never far from his phone.
Read it here: MG Siegler, “I Will Check My Phone At Dinner And You Will Deal With It”
- Siegler asserts in his first paragraph that dinner hour phone users abound in any restaurant, anywhere. He acknowledges in the next paragraph, however, that he lives in a “Bay Area bubble,” where the general populace is presumably more tech-oriented than in other regions. How does the area where you live compare? Do you expect to see many diners peering at their phones in restaurants, either openly or under the table?
- Siegler sets up his mother as his “they say.” Is this an effective rhetorical strategy for him? Imagine a different “They Say” strategy—what might it be? Might it be more effective? Why or why not?
- What does the phrase “Dinner 2.0” signify for you? Why? What does the “2.0” refer to?
- Siegler embraces the new modes of technology-enhanced social interaction, stating that “this is the way the world works now. We’re always connected and always on call. And some of us prefer it that way.” Do you? Write an essay in which you describe your comfort or discomfort with a life “always connected and always on call.” Provide examples from your own experience as a user of technology. and/or as a tech user’s companion, spouse, coworker, family member, etc.
They Say I Blog 
I agree with the writer’s view that young people growing up with cell phones don’t view it as rude to check their phones in almost any social situation. I don’t agree, however, that having dinner with your family is the same as hanging out with your friends at a bar. Smartphones are a great convenience, but I’m still not sold at them being necessary all the time without a break. How about conversation based on what’s already in your brain? Or even solitary reflection to sort things out?
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I admit, I’ve checked my phone at dinner. I will not give more than a passing glance and never at a business dinner or with family. If I am out with friends, I am usually the one that checks her phone the least. I spend almost every Monday night with a couple girlfriends and they both have their iPhones on their laps. And while I find it slightly annoying at times, I understand it. Also, I want to disconnect at night and on the weekends. The Smartphone is great but if I want an hour or two to remove myself from work, I turn it off or put it on vibrate so I am not tempted.
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The main thrust of Mr. Siegler’s argument–that we should IN GOOD CONSCIENCE embrace the further dilution of our social interactions–would have been more effective if he hadn’t constructed a maternal bastion of a by-passed era against which to enshrine his position. Phones are indeed useful to obviate the fact that most occasions for dining out, by their very artificial nature, impose a social obligation that cannot be instantly fulfilled even by the best of friends. Let’s check wikipedia until this Cosmo dissipates my obsession with the every day. My only question is how much it pained Mr. Siegler’s no doubt otherwise untainted integrity to “admit” having unequaled joy at the game of “phone check” he plays with his companions. Because I suspect he derived even more pleasure from indulging in the spectacle of his poor mother’s rural mores.
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I think there’s a difference between “fact checking” on your phone, which often adds to the conversation, and “checking out” by playing games or checking emails during dinner. I thought dinner was about conversation…
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phone technology changed our life quickly.
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I do think that checking the phone during social gatherings, like dinner is something that is more and more acceptable. I’ve definitely done it myself. However, when one text becomes a conversation, then I think it crosses a line. And he is exactly right, when everyone else has their phones out, you feel awkward NOT looking at it. This is a strange type of peer pressure emerging..
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I found this interesting as whenever I am out to dinner with my mother, she is always asking me to look something up on my phone for her! I agree with Mona’s comment in that there is a difference between fact checking, which can enhance one’s dinner interactions, and being rude by checking your email in the middle of a conversation. I think people are so addicted to being connected 24/7 these days that they often don’t realize they are checking their phones so often. If a distraction is available, then we will be distracted by it.
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I agree that it is his business whether he checks his phone and that I should not prevent him from doing so. However I am glad I do not have to have dinner with him. I do not use email much to communicate with friends so that I can have time to enjoy socializing with people and making a personal connection.
Maybe it is my advanced age but I do think that everytime you check your phone at dinner you are saying to the person you are with that their company is not compelling or the person is not important enough to be bothered with. Perhaps if the person does not mind, that is Ok, but generally I do mind.
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I think this argument is much more complex than Siegler discusses here. Checking your phone while out to dinner with family is still questionably taboo. Whether or not it should be is for the families to decide, in my opinion. Checking your phone while you’re out for drinks with friends doesn’t strike me as rude or inconsiderate in the least. However, what if you’re on a date? I would be appalled if my date started texting mid-dinner. I very much believe that if someone is checking his or her phone during a conversation with you it is equivalent to yawning. I might yawn in front of my good friends or family, excuse myself and hope they don’t take it as a sign of boredom. I would never yawn during a serious conversation, a work dinner, or a date. I think cell phone etiquette should follow the same rules.
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It all boils down to etiquette. Ultimately, how one chooses to exercise etiquette is up to them. While I do sometimes wish the Phone Police would make an appearance in annoying situations (like when people should just go get a room with their phone already), people are going to do what they are going to do. I acknowledge that the world is indeed changing. Great. Fine. However, personally, I choose not to be obsessed with my phone. A lot of it depends on age and life situations, etc. As a mom of twin toddlers, when I’m out to dinner with them, I’m too damn busy to be bothered with checking my phone. And when I’m out to dinner with friends (when I’m lucky enough to find personal time like that these days!), I’m thrilled to be able to spend time with them and nurture those live-and-in-person connections. If I wanted to hang out with my phone, I’d stay home.
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As a late Millennial kid, I, too, am guily of checking my phone during meals. But should I really feel guily? As the only person in my family to have a smartphone, I am generally asked to “look it up!” over contraversial debates such as; this song was realeased in 1994; no it wasn’t, it was 1996. I can finish the argument with a simple app that we all rely on; google.
I enjoy the notation, “Dinner 2.0” because we have the ability to look up this information at our finger tips. Thus, I agree with Siegler that I should not be shunned or ashamed of other uses at the table. Especially if it saves a family fued 😉
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It’s clear that Siegler, as are many who are guilty of checking their phones in the midst of social situations, thinks his actions benefit the conversation, when his obsessive text and email checking has likely resulted in more than a few people feeling that they are less important than how many freaking bushels of corn he managed to acquire on Farmville. And, I’m sure this genius believes that sending updates to his bros about how many skirts are at the bar refilling their kiwi-tinis is contributing to the dinner conversation, but alas, no one cares and the bottom line is that IT’S RUDE to the people who were unfortunate enough to go out with this guy in person.
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“This is the way the world works now.” ‘Tis true. I’ve definitely fallen victim to answering e-mails and texts during dinner, but always preface that it will only take a minute. That minute gives whoever I’m at dinner with a guilt-free glance at their own phone for similar messages and e-mails. Take that, social norms. I’m not proud of it, but there it is. This IS how the world works now.
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UGH! I am a mom, and therefore, feel for your mother. The use of mobile phones and other electronic devices during something as intimate as a shared meal is a disturbing notion to me and not doubt considered bad manners by mothers all over the world. Yes, it is happening everywhere. I don’t find that argument enough to convince me to “Get with the program”. That’s one band wagon I choose not to get on. You want to have your phone join you for dinner and I don’t. I can live with that. What I don’t appreciate, however, is your insensitive intolerant attitude that for anyone who does not share your point of view best get out of the way. Now that’s bad manners!
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I agre with the story because phones in the diner table can start a conversion. Some people look at each other face and dont say nothing but if you got a phone you can look up things to talk about. For example who won the basketball game. Also if is more the 2 people in the table and you dont want to join the conversion you can just be on your phone.
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I agree to this because no matter where you go people are goin to use their phones. Everytime I go out 2 eat no matter where its at, people be on their phones,texting Internet,e-mail ect.When Im out to eat I do all these things too.
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I agree with the writer’s view because, a lot of people do sit around the dinner table or sit at restaurants and use their cell phones. I do however disagree with using your cell phones at the table when your sitting with family. Being at dinner with friends is differnet from being with family, because friends are most likely to pull there phones out and start texting or tweeting & ect. , when your with family its suppose to spark a conversation with eachother, so there’s no use for phones.
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i agree that it is more and more peolpe use their mobile in anytime. in my country, mobile is a most important thing that you can’t with out. my mother always say did you bring your keys, money, and your mobile. it seems that moblie is one of our life. however, Siegler tola about “they say”
it might be the older age people. it was because they grow up with out mobile. it can show us the different between he and his mother. moreover, he was write about the dinner2.0. it look like a software. it has been update. that we will not have a same mode than before.
but the way, i don’t like mobile. because it make me to be a easy person. why? because people call you, you need to answer. if you don’t, they will say why you don’t answer. it seems like i need to answer your phone. don’t you think about why should i listen to you, and why you can call me anytime for anything!
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I agree with the moral of the story. because tecnolgy has taken over some much of our daily lives and people have made cel phones such a part of their daily routine,that they have forgetten what it is to sit down at the dinner table together as a family and just talk about your day and have some simple comunation with one another. I also blame the marketing aspect of it for the outragious tools they use to pull the people in!. sometimes when my mind wonders about these things like cell phone use I start to think that they have become to much of a way of life for most people. I am so thankfull that I was brought into this world so much earlier in life.
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I disagree because I was brought up the old way.When I go out to dinner with my family,freinds or someone I’m dating I leave my phone in my truck.I think it’s rude for someone your trying to have a conversation with to keep checking their phone or even talking on it.It tells me that person is not fully here for me and I’ll just get up pay the check and leave thats me.And if the world is gunna be like this all the time I might be the one who is still the old way.
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I agree with the writer because there are many people who eat and have there phones out. I don’t agree with using your phone while you eat dinner with your family because it could be disturbing to others while they are trying to have a discussion. My family doesn’t really care if i use my phone or not because they be using there’s sometime as well.
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I agree with this is the way the world work now, but I disagree because is rude when you go out with somebody to dinner and when you start to use your phone for no reason, you reflect you don’t feel comfortable or you are bored with your company, or you no like the place you when or the food. Its better before you going in; check your messages or if you no need to use your phone turn off and enjoy the dinner together and next time you can go out again with the same friends or more.
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I agree because everyone now a day checks their phone during dinner. There’s a time and place for someone to use their phone. i wont use my phone if I’m eating dinner with my parents but if I’m with my friends or my family members around my age i don’t see why not..
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I agree with writer .we all know that technology is growing so fast.
and every body is useing that.however, it is not a big deal if some one use his/her phone at the resturan. people go to restaurant to have conversation to each other. But some times the title of that coversation is not interesting for you. Therefore, you have to resort to your phone.
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I agree with the writer’s said young people growing up with cell phones because I have a cell phone since i was 13, although at that time is not popular at all, i am growing up with it. i cant live without it. Right now cell phone have many apps. And some apps can text with other people who are not live with same country as you. So that i always texting with my friend and i always check my cell phone.
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There are many knid of poeple are using the cellphone during at Dinner time. Recently this is not weried and strange, even some people think this is common, this is not rude anymore. It means Dinner customs also are changing now, I disagree however, that having dinner with your family or friends are the same as hanging out with your family or friends. Both are same. The writer mentions about it is antisocial thing, yes, it is. It can not make the better social relationship with people. People need topic for conversation, so they need to use cellphone? It does not make sence. If someone who doen not have any cellphone, their talking skill or conversation willl be strange? Of cource not. People can talk based on what’s already in thier brain? It means they do not need to use cellphone when people conversation during dinner.
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I disagree with use a phone in the dinner time. Especially, go out and have a dinner. Because go out and have a dinner with someone is not be alone. When I eat denner with someone I should talk and listen to them. After that I can send e-mail or callsomeone. Also, if I need to talk or send the e-mail I should not eat dinner with someone. It is kind of polite things for everybody who is eat dinner with me. Therefore, I disagree with use the phone in the dinner time.
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I totally disagree with writer. I’m approve that cellular phone is very useful, and we can’t make nice relationship without our cellphone these days. However, when we have dinner time, usually that’s not too long, people have to concentrate what they do now, and at that time, we can also make our good relationship too. That’s more important in our life. People can use and check their phone whenever they want in a day . I don’t know why we are arguing each other, it’s just basic manners.
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I love my phone and won’t leave it home so no matter where i go it goes with me so if i’m out to dinner and it goes off i’m going to answer it.
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I like this article. It makes a lot of sense to me because I am that person who will most likely answer a text at the dinner table. But my mother is not the one who goes “put your phone away.” She does the same thing! She too answers texts at the dinner table. My whole family does. It is the 21st century. Who doesn’t check their Twitter or look at their friend’s post on Facebook? It would be awkward if you didn’t do such a thing. Who wants to really have conversations at the dinner table anymore? And if we do have conversation, it is usually about something I found out while I was on my phone at the dinner table.
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Ok first off I have to say that there is definitely a difference between checking your phone to dispute an argument over a fact and being on your phone and going on Twitter or Facebook. I do agree that a smartphone definitely comes in handy during”family feuds” however during the dinner time I think that being on your phone for social networks and games may inhibit conversation.I am sort of in the middle ground when it comes to this article and so in all I would say the smartphone is good at the dinner table in small doses, because there have been plenty of times when conversation was struck up from something said on twitter or Facebook.
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He acknowledges in the next paragraph, however, that he lives in a “Bay Area bubble,” where the general populace is presumably more tech-oriented than in other regions.
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I am a mother of 2/2. The children in the house over 18 have a cell phone, the 2 that are under 18 do not. I do not feel that a child should have a cell phone, it consumes a lot of time, and becomes an extension of themselves. Maybe an emergency phone which only dials Mom and Dad’s number.
I admit without my phone my day would go into total chaos. I have my calendar, various writing programs that I use for school/work. If I am outside of the house and I get a thought I jot it down. 70% of my daily activities require my phone. I rarely answer my phone, I do text on it, seems to be quicker and it does not conflict with what I am doing. I use my phone for relax time also, such as Netflix, Words with Friends, and a side by side for my online MMO I have been playing since 2001.
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I disagree with the writer, people are intilteld to there own opinions. My opinion is that it is wrong to even have your phone at dinner I grew up that way and don’t think I got a cell phone until I was 16. I believe cell phones are very helpful and great to have but they can really screw up alot of things in life like grammar. If you are at dinner keep your phone in your pocket on vibrate or leave it in the truck, the text can wait till dinner is done. People feel urgent to answer the text right away especially teenagers its the way they have grown up and our world will soon all be technology. If it is an emergency, someone will call you and thats why you have your phone on vibrate then you can decide if you would answer the phone. People at the dinner table are there to talk to you so be social and talk to the people directly at the dinner table.
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I love that I go to college in a place where technology isn’t accepted as absolutely necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love my phone, my Kindle and my laptop, but I need a break from them all sometimes. I really like that when I go to breakfast or lunch at Morning Thunder in Quincy, CA, I am asked to not use my cell phone in the building. It is nice to have an hour where I am completely undisturbed.
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I think that even though checking one’s phone at the dinner table has become the norm, it shouldn’t be. Checking your phone at dinner does make you anti social. Why pay to go eat somewhere with company you enjoy if you’re just going to be on your phone the whole time? Why not just stay at home and have takeout where you and your phone can be alone without any interruptions? I think people need to get back to common manners. Even though our society revolves around technology, there is definitely a time and place when being on your phone is inappropriate and the dinner table is one.
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How does the area where you live compare? Do you expect to see many diners peering at their phones in restaurants, either openly or under the table?
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1) Checking your cellphone in restaurants in my hometown was a normal thing to do. As a teenager my parents would also make me put away my phone for dinners at home or the occasional dinner with guest or extra family. But as my sister and I got older my parents started to give up and they would just pull out their phones also. When we visited restaurants we would always see people on their phones, usually if I ever saw a stranger on their phone it just reminded me to check my phone for messages or emails. Strangers never hide it under the table anymore usually I will see families interacting with each other on someone’s phone like games.
2) Siegler uses his parents as his “they say” because it works for his blog. That’s how he starts up his story. He starts it out as himself as a little child that would always sneak in a text while his parents told him not too. So his story is able to go on because of the rebellious “told you so” attitude. I personally I think it’s a great rhetorical strategy, but for me personally my parents weren’t as strict as his so it didn’t feel like I was included in this rebellious act. I would of taken his story in a broader approach. I would of started the story by reminding people of the old days where people would talk on their phones really loud that it was very annoying and obnoxious. Then I would go on how that’s changed and now restaurants are much more quieter because of people always staying connected with their phones by texting or emailing. Since Siegler was still talking about how he thinks it’s a good thing that the world is changing, my rhetorical strategy would of made sense.
3) Dinner 2.0 to me sounds like the future. It’s a term used to explain that the world is changing and there are new things that can make the dinner conversations more fun. It sounds like the future because there are way more things that you can use like checking up on sporting events because your buddies wanted to know what the score was, or even looking up jokes to keep the conversation going. There is even apps for your own entertainment to keep you connected with your other friends like Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. The 2.0 is simply referring to the conversations that you used to have at dinner are simply changing because of the new technology.
4) I personally don’t enjoy the idea of always being on call because that just stresses me out. I enjoy the occasional checking the email and getting replies out right away so that I don’t need to stress over later on. But I also enjoy the moments where I don’t have to worry about anything going on. Once in a while I will put my phone on silent because I don’t enjoy always being alerted that someone has posted on Facebook. A perfect example is the new feature iPhones have with group messaging. If everyone in the group message has an IPhone then you can start MMS group chats which are very similar to chat rooms where everyone is able to look at the conversations. We started this group message with my High school friend’s cause we always wanted to keep everyone up to date on everything were doing. But now that we are in college and miles away from each other I don’t enjoy always being alerted that 2 of my friends are talking to each other through the group message. It’s annoying and I wished there was someway to turn it off without my friends knowing. It feels like a forced conversation, which is really ruining my relationship with my old friends.
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I am an 18 year old in college, which means I go to the dining centers and restaurants on campus and I constantly see people on their phones. Whenever I walk into the dining halls or the pizza shops, I never stop to think about the amount of phones out or the amount of people talking on their phones when they are at the table. I would say that this has been the “new norm” and a lot of people my age have basically grown up with that. I have been exposed to technology for most of my life and it has taken over my generation. Seeing people with their phones out at dinner, even if its a fancy dinner, has been more normal than ever.
The way MG Siegler sets up “ they say” with his mother, has allowed him to show that older generations aren’t comfortable with the phones out at the table and this is his way of saying his mom’s generation and the people that are older than him are not as familiar with this trend. Siegler should have addressed the “they say” as the whole generation because that way people can get a better picture of what people actually think when it comes to this topic.
In my opinion, “Dinner 2.0” means, this is the new way to do things. This is now how dinner is done and it’s a whole other level of eating. It doesn’t matter where someone is at dinner, the phones will be out at the restaurants and that is what “ dinner 2.0” means. I believe people have a lot to do these days and the habit of checking their phones for emails or updates has become crucial. What does that mean for us? A lot more people will be joining us at the table, virtually.
Technology has been a big part of my life and those of my generation. For most of our lives, all we have known is how to use technology and the importance of it. Reading this article really made become aware and unsure about how I feel that technology is taking over. For about 10 years of my life, the only way I knew how to communicate with someone was to talk to them face to face. When I had dinners with my family, there was no sight of a phone or even the slightest worry that there would be a problem with a phone on the table. My family raised me to believe that it is important to be present and in the moment. Hearing it’s going to be the “new norm” from now on is a little bit frightening to me. I value making connections with people and actually being present in the conversation with those that I am with and when I am at dinner I find it blandly rude when I am trying to talk to someone and they are surfing the web on their phone. What happened to communicating with each other at dinner and talking to the people that you are with? Don’t get me wrong, I have been caught red handed with my phone out or checking a few messages but, hearing that it’s ok now, is getting a little scary and makes me wonder if we are going to lose sight of being polite and incorrectly defining the rules of etiquette. I think we need to take a step back and realize that eating dinner or having a meal with someone only takes about 20 minutes of your time and is not an impossible task. It’s getting to the point of where it is disrespectful to the people you are with and it is taking you away from being present in the moment. We need to learn how to engage with each other again.
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I agree with Siegler when he states that more people are using their phones at dinner. I live in a small town thirty minutes from Des Moines and phone usage during dinner is present just like it is in his city. I have noticed that the younger generations do not seem have the same views on cell phone usage as their grandparents. I was told by my parents that it is disrespectful in a formal or informal setting to use my cell phone at dinner, whether at home or at a restaurant. When young teens are out with their friends, it seems like there is a general understanding that using your phone is going to happen and that it is not disrespectful. I do expect that people will be using their phones in restaurants and it is becoming more common. The atmosphere where people are, will help cell phone users decide whether to check their phones under the table or openly. I see people check their phones under the table when eating with their family at a nice restaurant, but when with friends in an informal setting, phones are checked above the table without hesitation. I think the acceptance of cell phone usage at dinner will increase with time as teens become older and the next generation grows up with parents who use their cell phones openly at dinner in all settings. It will become widely accepted and will no longer be associated with the word disrespectful.
I think that Siegler’s use of his mother’s opinion represents the generation in which phone usage at dinner is considered disrespectful. His mother’s opinion set an example and a counterargument that added to the piece by showing a differing opinion than his own. I think that his mom is a good representation of the majority of older peoples’ opinions. I think it is an effective rhetorical strategy and sets the tone for the article. It grabbed my interest because I could relate to his mom. My mom has the same view and has said the same things to me. He could have started with a teenagers’ perspective to help prove his side and his point. I think that with either strategy, using his mother’s point of view or a teenagers’ point of view would be effective. The audience he thinks will read the article would decide which point of view he should use as his strategy. I personally think that if he is trying to help an older audience see his point then he should use other teenagers’ opinions to help show that phone usage at dinner is becoming more accepted. I like that he used his mother’s point of view, because I could hear my mom saying the same thing and could relate to what Siegler was saying, which helped me gain interest in reading the article.
The phrase “Dinner 2.0” signifies that the idea of phone usage during dinner is new and becoming more accepted with the younger generation. Dinner is no-longer only face to face interaction, but it now involves the use of technology. It is a new and upcoming idea that is becoming more popular and will soon become second nature. I think the “2.0” refers to a new concept of phone usage to start dinner conversation, check-in, use apps, or keep updated on everyone’s’ social life. People who believe that cell phone usage is not disrespectful believe that this new idea will make dinner more enjoyable and can even present topics for discussion.
I believe that within a couple years, phone usage at dinner will become excepted and even second nature. I think that with time many people will embrace the fact that now days most people are connected to their cellular devices and find that being without it is challenging. People enjoy being on call and always connected through technology, which has allowed social interaction to be fast and easy. I don’t think that I will ever find myself always using my phone. Even now I tend to forget it and leave it at home. I appreciate face-to-face communication and prefer it. I would much rather get involved in a conversation with someone at dinner, without the use of technology. I feel that it is important to make connections through texting and Facebook, but there is a time and place for that. I grew up to believe that family time is not the time to be on my cell phone. I will have my phone on me, but not out and only reply in the case of an emergency. I have friends who believe that using a phone at dinner is not disrespectful and that is fine, I just choose not to use it at dinner. I don’t think it should be difficult to put a cell phone away for the amount of time it takes to have dinner. In some cases, I feel more at ease using my cell phone, such as when I am with my friends. When I am at dinner with my friends, I still don’t find myself using my cell phone and if so, not very often. At other times than dinner, I openly check my phone and think that using my phone is great. I think the advances in technology are beneficial, but I don’t think that we should lose the face-to-face interaction at a dinner setting.
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I live in South Eastern, Connecticut and it is a town of about 41,000 people of all ages and cultures. I admit to being a “dinner-time texter” and every time I find myself using my phone, I ask myself if who I am eating with will think my actions are appropriate or not. When I look around though, I do see many people using their phones but they seem to be between the ages of 12 and 30 with few exceptions. Mr. Siegler has a point when he states that “moms” presumably do no see this action as acceptable.
2.2. The author using his mother as his “they say” is a pretty effective because the first thought that came into my head when I read the title was how my own mom thinks that using the phone at certain times, especially at dinner, is inappropriate. The role of his mother in the article automatically made me relate and be able to connect. Another effective “they say” to this blog entry could have been a waitress that he had talked to about this topic. I don’t think that this would have been MORE effective than using his mother but it could have worked in the same way. If a waitress is trying to take orders and someone is on their phone instead of completely being focused on what was going on at the table, then I am sure that they waitress would have a strong opinion as well as his mother.
3.3. When Mr. Siegler states that this topic is “Dinner 2.0,” I took that as him stating that it is not “old-school” dining anymore. He wants to relay to the readers of his blog that we are now moving forward in the world and technology is going to progress whether we like it or not. Him using this terminology also implies that whoever is against using phones during dinner should just accept the fact that this is where the world is going.
4.4. As a tech user myself, I think that Siegler is correct in saying that “this is the way the world works now,” and I do prefer it this way. I feel very lucky that most questions I have can be solved by just searching for it on my phone. Although I can understand the discomfort that the older generations have with people using their phones at special times, I do not see texting as a rude act while at the dinner table. Just as the author said, “It’s Dinner 2.0” and our elders may just need to accept it. When it comes to other people using their phones around me while at dinner, I do not mind it as much as “they say” they do. I do admit that it can get frustrating when the people I am spending time with seem to be more interested in their phones than me, but I remind myself that sometimes I am the person in that position.
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I agree with Jude, that I do not want to “get over it.” I do not think that the fact that Americans are seriously addicted to technology is good progress. I do not believe that since everyone is doing it, I should accept it. This is not because I am old schooled or unwilling to change with the times; I just really enjoy human interaction. I feel that people are becoming more and more uncomfortable and awkward in social situations, where they cannot use the crutch of technology, myself include. Even though, technically we are communicating all day every day on our devices, we are communicating less face-to-face.
I have a job that requires me to be on call, 24/7. This makes it really challenging for me to be “unplugged” and not be attached to my iPhone. I find myself constantly looking at my phone at times when I should not be. I attribute this partly because it has become the social norm. As some other bloggers were noting, they feel a peer pressure to be on their phones when all the people around them are, as well. Even though this is the norm, I do not like it or accept it. I like the idea of having a meal where each person is interested and participating in conversations with one another. I feel that we need to try and make some time with each other, when we are not distracted or half listening. To achieve this, all we need to do is make a real effort to have blocks of time where we are not messing with our phones or technology. Perhaps starting small would be easier. For example: start with a technology free dinner, once a week and then build on from there. I really believe that going back to our roots will help us rebuild a true connection with friends and family, one that has been slowly dying. Trust me an email, text and status update can wait.
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In the article “I Will Check My Phone at Dinner and You Will Deal with It,” Seigler points out how it has become a social norm to be able to check your phone in a dinner setting, and how it is completely fine. Like Kimi said, it all boils down to etiquette. Seigler points out how it is actually awkward when everyone else is checking their phones and you are the only one who is not. I have to disagree with her stance on this. The reason why someone might feel like they have to pull out their phone is because they are uncomfortable because of the situation they are put in. It shows lack of etiquette when people are on their phone while at a setting with peers or family. It makes it seem like they are so uninteresting that you have to keep checking your phone to see what is going on in the outside world. If it is not okay to speak on the phone, it should not be okay to be on it. You are deriving your attention on something else other than the person who you are with. The worst thing is that not only are people on their phones, but they bring other devices such as their iPad’s or computers to dinner with them. I am a waitress at a restaurant and see this all the time. Especially parents with younger children do this. They let their children be on some device to distract them from being bored. This is so wrong in many ways. The children and parents are losing out on the bonding time together. Also, the child will grow up thinking it is okay to behave in such matter. People also have to look at it from the point of view of their peers. They might think that it is okay to check their phone, but will their peers? What if they find it offensive? People should be more aware of others than just themselves. If you need to look up topics to make dinner more interesting then do it before you do out to eat. You should be prepared ahead of time for that.
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In the Article “I Will Check My Phone at Dinner and You Will Deal with It”, Siegler informs us that checking ones phone at the dinner table has become the norm in society, especially among those in their 20s and 30s. I can see why he can say that this has become the norm, but I do not agree when he states that “it has made going to dinner so much better”. I am 21 years old and I admit that I do check my phone once in a while at the table when I am out with friends but never around my parents. I find it to be very disrespectful to them and their time as well. Being out with friends is purposely made to be social with them not to be ignoring one another because you are too busy using apps on your phone. When he says that talking on the phone is still frowned upon in restaurants, I agree because it is interruptive but using your phone to be on social network, texting and being “social” through your phone defeats the purpose of going out to a social scene with peers. If you rather be on a phone during dinner, then you should be isolating yourself from others who go out to be social. Having dinner with peers, family and friends is a time when you are suppose to be dedicating that time to one another, catching up and making memories, not having people’s eyes glued to the phone screen. More and more children, parents and teens are buried into their phones during social events; I see it all the time at family parties, and gatherings it saddens me that people would choose to have a social life over the internet instead of having a real social life with people around them.
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I do agree that the usage of cell phones during dinners will not stop; however, I disagree with the author when he states that it enhances the dinner experience. I believe that it is rude to be occupied with your cell phone when at a restaurant with friends or family. When people go on their phone they are choosing to interact with friends on a contact list rather than people who actually took the time out of their day to meet in person. I have experienced this many times and I find it annoying when I try to have a conversation with the person I met and they are preoccupied with their phone. If this was the plan all along why didn’t we just eat lunch on our own and chat via text instead of wasting time and gas to meet? I think the cause of this can be due to many reasons. I believe that the biggest reason is because this generation has become very anti-social and it is only getting worse. Today, people would rather communicate through text than talk on the phone or in person. Social media sites and new apps are only worsening the situation. I also believe that another cause for this issue is that we have become addicted to our cell phones. Most people can not sit still at a table anymore; they have to check their phones every five minutes to see if they got a new email or notification on facebook. I do not see how this can make dinner more enjoyable. The whole point of eating a meal with others is so we can physically interact with one another.
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In response to Andrea Knab’s and Kimi’s comments towards Siegler’s argument, I agree with them that Siegler’s claims are much more complex than he discusses. Siegler argues that phone use during dinner is the new norm, stating, “this is the way the world works now. We’re always connected and always on call. And some of us prefer it that way.” Siegler’s statement only accounts for “some” people who prefer phone use as a social norm, but fails to mention those who do not, and there are many diverse types of individuals, not just parents, who believe in phone-use etiquette.
As Knab and Kimi suggest, checking your phone during dinner depends on the time, the place, and who one is with. Kimi argues, “It all boils down to etiquette. Ultimately, how one chooses to exercise etiquette is up to them… people are going to do what they are going to do. I acknowledge that the world is indeed changing.” I, too, agree that it is a changing world and that phone-use in social situations are inevitable, however, to be more engaged with what is on a cell phone screen than with the people one is with, is a little absurd. I believe that phones should be brought out only if necessary or relevant to the current conversation. I, myself, prefer to stay connected and on call, but only to a certain extent. I definitely could do without my phone for a majority of a dinner. I am definitely one of those individuals who like to check-in to places or take pictures of food or inanimate objects, but such pleasures are simple and would not take me more than two minutes to complete such a task. I am more comfortable and accepting of people using their phones at the dinner table especially when out with friends, but it is definitely questionable when out with family. As Knab suggests, if I were out on a date or on a work dinner, I would find it completely inappropriate. Overall, I think it solely depends on who a person is with and what social situation they are in, in order to determine the correct etiquette when using a cell phone.
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1.I live in Des Moines (Iowa) and although I would say it’s a fairly big city; Des Moines is not San-Francisco-big, it’s still fairly up-to-date as far a technology and the modern age go. I do see quite a few people using their phones in restaurants whether it’s in secret or more in the open. But like Siegler points out, the majority of people I see using their phone are in their mid-20s or younger.
2.Siegler sets up his mother as his “they say.” This, I think this proves effective for him as an argument strategy, but it might have been a little more effective if it were not so much a bias perspective. By introducing statistics of a percentage of “they say-ers” said that it’s rude to have your phone out at the table, it might be giving his argument stronger. Then again by introducing his mother into the article, he is making it more personal and, in turn, makes it more relatable.
3.Siegler’s “Dinner 2.0” so to speak, is his way of saying that the way we eat dinner is different now. It’s version two in dinner etiquette on what is and is not okay to do at the dinner table. I think he’s right. We are too far into the “modern age” now to not just accept that people use their phones at table.
4.I absolutely prefer the new desire to stay connected. I believe that like with almost anything, it’s good in moderation. My mom on the other hand, is very much opposed to having any sort-of technology at the dinner table. My dad is the opposite. He is always on his phone and computer. It sort-of makes sense though, because my father designs computer software so his life is on the computer and my mom is an accountant. Although she has to use the computer for work, she doesn’t enjoy it.
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I disagree with the Siegler’s point of view. It is annoying when people do tell others to put away their phones, however, it is more annoying when that person pays more attention to their phones than to the other person they are with. In a first date situation, those two people want to get to know one another, therefore, their full attention should be on each other. But when the phones start to crawl out of the pockets, it is very rude and the one who is not on the phone will possibly lose interest. Once, I was out with a friend at dinner, and there was a couple sitting in front of me, behind my friend, and I would glance at them every now and then. When I would look up at my friend, I would peek behind her, and both the male and the female had their noses stuck to their phones. For a moment, I began to believe that they were having a conversation via text message. It was not my date, but something about this really irritated me. My thought was that if some one is going to be on their phones the whole time, why even be out, just text them from home. I can not say that I do not check my phone, but I do not spend all my time on the phone. When I am out with the someone, I value their company, so they have my full attention. The only time that I will check my phone is for phone calls from my parents wondering when I am going home. But even so, most of the time I do not answer because I do not notice that my is phone ringing. Most of all, even if I did hear the phone ring, and I were talking to someone, I would not answer it in front of them because it would be disrespectful, rude, and in poor taste to have an off conversation with someone else while out having dinner. If it was a random call anywhere else it would be different but to answer while at dinner and ignoring the people being accompanied is in poor example of phone etiquette. I am old fashioned, and I respect other people enough not to interrupt a conversation over a phone call or text message, even if the other person will do that to me. Technology is advancing very fast, which makes it seem that traditional table etiquette will soon mean nothing.
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While I have been found guilty of being on my phone while at dinner with my friends or family on many occasions, I agree with Gabrielle and don’t think that this should become the norm. As Stieger pointed out in her article, when at a restaurant there is almost always at least one person preoccupied by his or her phone at almost every table. While I understand that people may need to occasionally peak at their phone to check in with someone or may want to look up something they are discussing, I don’t believe entire conversations should be focused solely on phones or phone applications, and I definitely don’t think people should spend a majority of the time on their phones. While I don’t necessarily think the use of phones while at dinner should be banned, I don’t think it should be encouraged.
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Siegler makes good points, but his title is very direct that it throws me off. By that I mean when he says, “I will” and “You will deal with it”. His title makes it seems that he doesn’t care what other people tell him to do about putting his phone down but he will have it out because he wants to. Personally I use my phone 24/7 and I’m always doing something on it but I find at the dinner table no matter where, I shouldn’t have it out. I disagree with Siegler because instead of using your phone all the time you could be communicating with the people at the table. My parents are always telling me to put my phone away just for a little and to take a break. Though I want to check it, I don’t think i would gain anything from checking my phone right at that moment, and I don’t think I will lose anything from not looking right at that moment. Siegler, says this is just how the world is now, and I think the world has become like this because people are so obsessed with their phones that they can’t live without them.
Though I am growing up in a world with phones all time as the norm, I still think the way my parents think, with keeping your phone down during dinner. I think its being respectful and having a chance to talk about things in your life and about anything. Sometimes I get tired at looking on my phone, how much can I actually do on my phone? Though I think I can’t live without my phone like Siegler implies in his article, I think theres a lot to get out of not using your phone at the dinner table. Dinner is a time for community and communication and using your phone can start conversations, but isn’t okay just to stop for a second and not use your phone for once? Maybe its just because I’ve grown up not allowed to have my phone at the dinner table, but theres so much more than using your phone during dinner.
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