They tell her Tinder sucks, all the while with eyes that never leave the screen, thumbs that never stop swiping. Vanity Fair writer and editor Nancy Jo Sales interviewed dozens of twentysomethings in several states as well as assorted academics and experts for this in-depth September 2015 report on dating apps and hookup culture.
Read it here: Sales, “Tinder and the dawn of ‘the dating apocalypse’”
- When it comes to heterosexual dating, women and men tend to have vastly different experiences, expectations, and attitudes, and Sales’ article reflects that divergence very clearly. How fair and equitable is her discussion of the two poles of the gender spectrum? Does her treatment of men and women display any bias or prejudice toward one gender? Point to examples to support your conclusions.
- Sales presents an abundance of evidence from interviews with Tinder users and academic experts in a variety of related fields. How well does her report weave together those two types of evidence? Should she have included more or less of one type? Would her article have been better if she had used only interviews? Only expert opinions? Explain your response.
- Read (or re-read) Clive Thompson’s essay in Chapter 17 of your text. Thompson, writing about chess, is a passionate defender of technology. What might Thompson say about the chess game (if we may call it that) of Tinder dating? Why? Point to passages in his essay that might demonstrate his attitude.
- Sales’ interviewees present a broad spectrum of experiences and opinions. Whose statements resonate most with your own experiences and point of view? Whose statements resonate least? Have you used Tinder or a similar dating app? Why or why not? What has been your experience with meeting potential dating or hookup partners? What might you have said if Sales had interviewed you? Choose two interviewees as your They Say, and write an essay responding to their statements and presenting your own views on dating apps and hookup culture.
They Say I Blog 
Based on the article, hookups through the app ‘Tinder’ has been focusing on how easy it is to find a relationship through apps and social media. There is also an argument that using these apps to find partners are dangerous. Also it shows that just a swipe can lead to sex that same night. The people in the big cities with money are lonely and using these online dating apps can help. The internet has made communicating with people around the world easier by just a swipe to the right or left. The world today has changed because of the internet. Not just for dating but just how people live their daily lives.
My view on this article is that these websites have helped so many people and it’s a good thing in some ways. People are using it to find partners and build futures. Even though its dangerous to find random people online, I believe it’s a good thing that the lonely people on this planet are getting attention by these apps.
I agree with Glenda Harris, because she stated that using online dating is like “arranged marriage”. It’s better to go out and explore who you think is best for you by doing face to face conversations or even going out just for small amount of time to talk about your relationship together and see if he/she is your type. You shouldn’t look around online to find the best person for you. I also agree with Mike when he said that “Technology is killing our social skills and tinder is just another example of this.” Tinder is an app that gives you plenty of options but once you match with someone all you do is message them. As you message or even text someone your social skills do not go up, they actually might worsen just because you’re not face to face.
These apps are arguably the most significant factor in meeting new people that might be the one for you. I say this because these apps offer a variety of people you may be interested in. Therefore the people in this world that think they won’t find their true love in just their area will use this app to find the options that are hiding. These findings challenge the work of earlier researchers, who tended to assume that these online apps that hook-up people were irrelevant in the world of dating.
LikeLike
In Nancy Jo Sales “So Easy”, she talks about how tinder and dating apps and websites are replacing the idea of real relationships. Christopher Ryan, a co-author of “Sex at Dawn”, “Human beings are not sexually monogamous by nature”. I don’t agree with that statement. I understand that we as humans are here to reproduce but that doesn’t mean having more than one partner. This particular act of both women and men is leading to the downfall of genuine connections and intimacy. This occurrence does, however, make sense due to state of our current society, which is focused around technology. As much of our lives are beginning to be lived through the internet, computers, and cellphones, of course sexual relations fall into that category.
LikeLike
I agree with Glenda Harris. She makes a very valid point when she say “Online dating is like an arranged marriage.” With online dating you don’t get the same freedom as meeting someone in person. Its basically having the internet hook you up with someone instead of doing it yourself. Meeting someone is way different than meeting them online. Example people that spend a lot of time on lie are usually shy in person. So meeting that pron online would be different then meeting them in person.
LikeLike
4.) Sales’ interviewees present a broad spectrum of experiences and opinions. Whose statements resonate most with your own experiences and point of view? Whose statements resonate least? Have you used Tinder or a similar dating app? Why or why not? What has been your experience with meeting potential dating or hookup partners? What might you have said if Sales had interviewed you? Choose two interviewees as your They Say, and write an essay responding to their statements and presenting your own views on dating apps and hookup culture.
In her article “ Tinder and the dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”, Nancy Jo Sales studies the different reasons why people use dating apps like Tinder. Some reason that it’s usually for a one night stand , and others use the dating app to actually find a companion. Personally I don’t use dating apps. I believe that they take the romanticism out of dating. Dating apps like Tinder make it seem like both male and females are meant nothing more than just sex. They take away the face time a person could have when they initially in order to get to know the other person. What happens if the other’s intentions don’t match yours? Then you’re left feeling vulnerable or used. Some may argue that some sympathy should shown to those who have low self-esteem, bad face to face experiences, or don’t view themselves in the highest light. However I disagree with diminishing yourself to only online interactions. People who do this are only making the chances low for themselves, when they could be out and about or being sincere about finding a significant other. Those who use dating apps are only setting themselves up for the end result they may not want. Sales make it clear in one of her paragraphs that “Sex has become so easy”. Dan the Ivy league guy supports the subtitle by saying “It’s like seamless, but you’re ordering a person.” In other words, dating apps are the gateway to 24/7 sex appointments. Dating apps make it seem like sex and dating is nothing more than just “casual”. I for one believe that there is nothing casual about them. One’s emotions can get caught up, while the other person is thinking nothing of the encounter. In the end this leaves nothing but disappointment because the experience was nothing like the person imagined. In the article under the subtitle “Morning After” Rebecca the blond mentioned that she recently hooked up with someone. When asked how the encounter went, her response was “Right after it was done, it was kind of like, mmmp…mmmp”. She showed signs of disappointment. This supports my reasoning that most time getting using dating apps leave people vulnerable to letdowns. You should never allow temporary moments of pleasure degrade your outlook on finding that true love interaction. Using dating apps will only hinder your journey.
This is not me necessarily judging anyone. To each his own, but as previously stated people and dating are more than just sex. A person has to know their morals. They should know that they are worth more than just a “like and a swipe”. Everyone deserves to be treated to face to face meetings or dinner and conversation, instead of just nothing but one-night stands. I agree with Eireonna Little when she states that using dating apps is “taking the easy way out”. You shouldn’t have to hide the real you or diminish yourself in order to please people whom you’ll probably never interact past that one encounter. I also agree with Montai Crawford when she explains that interacting with people online often subjects you to people who don’t care about your well being. She also states that you should be careful about who you give your affection to. I agree because everything that glitters isnt gold. You may think that the person on the other end of the chat is something you’re looking for, but turn out to be the opposite. This resorts back to my reasoning for allowing yourself to interact face to face. These interactions allow you to show your real self, and also to see the person for who they really are. Who knows you may wind up not liking that person after the date. Dating in person also saves the trouble of disappointment that dating apps leave if you just give “it” up to someone not worthy. All in all you should just keep in mind to be safe while dating, never compromise your morals, and make yourself the #1 priority.
LikeLike
Personally I have never used Tinder and do not ever plan to use it. I may be old fashion when it comes to dating but I have never seen the purpose of using tools to help you date. If we think about how people used to find a date it would not be seen as a effective way to find a mate. In this society all we are trying to do is find the fastest way to meet people. Our social media that we commonly use offers the speed we want. The recent generation are prone to get married faster and have children even faster. My senior year at Eau Gallie I graduated with a girl who had a baby and probably several other who were pregnant. This is a lot more common then most students would think. Having this Tinder app just lets this happen even more then it already does.
LikeLike
I personally believe that pointing fingers at which sex (male/female)is to be blamed for this occurrence is just not that simple. Dating or picking up girls has completely changed meaning as technology grows. Sales interviewed several people but even though they all had a different answer, they all meant the same thing. Guys just want sex, same reason they go to the bar and meet a girl. It is the exact same thing to meet a girl on Tinder or such app and hook up. The way it is done is what I find to be very lame I guess you could say. The excitement of getting to have sex with a girl you picked up from a bar is so much better because you actually get to talk to the person and be social, there is nothing social about talking to someone online, they might not even look like their pictures! It is called being photogenic people! The apps are killing the fun of the one night stand. It can not be stopped but it can be tamed!
LikeLike
Oh my God. This article is hilarious. The fact that tinder is now the way that people meet to hook up shows me how totally lame this world has become. When referring to tinder, Jane says, “People send really creepy shit on it,”. I’m sorry, but no duh. When you posted your picture to tinder, you inadvertently just said, “Hey mystery pervs, hope you think im hot… just putting myself out there…”. Of course guys are messaging you moronic things- it’s hysterical to them! To them, you are just a picture. Literally just a picture of meaningless boobs, and with no face-to-face contact, weirdos feel brave enough to say what they want. As for John saying, “Tinder is fast and easy, boom-boom-boom, swipe.”, I just have to laugh. He sounds like he’s got the passion of a worn out flip flop yet speaks with an undeserved sense of entitlement. It’s so sad that rather than holding our seductive powers over guys, and igniting a real passion, girls are sloppily throwing their legs all over guys, and guys only have to ‘like’ one picture. Such a waste, and so very boring.
As cruel as I may sound, I must say that I officially also think people on tinder are pretty narcissistic. How many damn pictures do you need to post to the internet of yourself? Facebook was enough. Instagram was more than enough. But now we all need these hook-up apps, too? Are people really that dark that their egos are boosted all day from how many likes their picture gets, rather than from doing things that are even somewhat productive? So self-manifested. Even though millions of people are becoming tasteless tinder users, I believe there are still many men and women who are passionate, it’s in our nature. I think this type of hooking up will only eventually lead to emptiness; therefore, reinforcing the importance of intimacy and love.
LikeLike
I agree with many others on how that older and even younger people can find a special someone over technology. With the technology that keeps bringing new ways of people meeting and finding that someone will make things go in a better way. I also agree with Erica with it being rare for woman to find a man who treats her a priority instead of an option because I’ve heard many times that has happened. Also, it could be very dangerous to meet somebody over technology because you will never know who and want that person wants. With this article it could either lead to good or to bad depending on how things go.
LikeLike
Dating Apps has become the face of the new generation. Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, Bumble, etc., are the modernized expectations when it comes to young adults trying to find intimacy in a relationship. According to Nancy Jo Sales, one of the writers for Vanity Fair, states that “…a lack of an intimate knowledge of his potential sex partners never presents him [Alex] with an obstacle to physical intimacy” meaning that the twenty-something-year-olds lose their grips on finding a potential long-lasting relationship because of the abundance of cheap, and easy sex. Dating Apps is the downfall of the new generation dating; it is fun, easy, and most of the time, everyone involved with a dating app understands the no-strings-attached mantra. Twenty something-year-olds have become accustomed to quick access to sex, and they have lost the ability to communicate face-to-face with the opposite sex, in order to establish a potential relationship. The term relationships is an idea of the past because most twenty-somethings only look for potential mates with no intentions of making it to marriage.
Marriage rates are low, and divorce rates are high. But how can a relationship stand to withhold through tough times when both partners are able to access a wide range of potential new suitors. Infidelity is common, and trust is lost. In fact, most individuals admit to not have lost the desire to settle down with just one person. It is sad really, that the old expectations of dates, and I use that word loosely, is a heavy indicator that someone is willing to take their relationship with you to the next level—other than sexual.Women and men lack the maturity it takes to build a union that may last, or they do not care to develop it. Dating is a competition of who can have the most sexual conquest, and brag about to their friends.Romance and intimacy are no longer relevant to the majority of the millennials, and for those few that still believe in true love, it is extremely hard to come by.
LikeLike
The discussions over online dating apps has been flabbily flop all over the place. One side of the case is how you never see the person on the app, they could be lying, bla bla bla. The other side says how you still are meeting people, talking, bla bla bla. Who cares who wins the battle? If you don’t like the app I think you shouldn’t care, cause you don’t have to use the app. If you use the app, you’re using it! You don’t need to defend yourself over if its good or not, just use it! I view society today as so corrupted, everyone needs to have their way and discuss their views whether it matters or not. Just stop! Although some people might point out that I am going against what I’m saying, I’m not because the only reason I’m writing this is because of all the fights and issues from this. Just end the battles and live life.
LikeLike
I have to agree with a lot of things Breanna Roper said, yes this can lead to unpleasant things. She argues that it is leading to a downfall in intimacy, and there is no denying that we are losing face to face connection. On one hand some argue that it is what people want, what the new generations live like. Well on the other hand, however others argue that yes this can be happening. But there will always be people that do it the traditional way. My own view is that the new generation has grown in a time where you can be more independent than ever. The image of your goal is to have own your family is something that has taken backstage. To people wanting to live there lives and there careers, and hold of on family. Though I concede that this is making the connection that people had before way less. I personally don’t think she was really on judging one gender more than another. You can tell when the article first starts, when she talks about the girls, and how they are using tinder at bar. Also she points out that one of the guys friends thinks its kind of cold how his friend doesn’t care about the girls feelings. The article manage to get the most important aspect right, of how this new craze is affecting the way people interact.
LikeLike
This article that I just read was talking about the dating apocalypse and how people go to the bar and sit down scrolling through Tinder. To me this is dumb. Why would you come down to the bar and sit down and scroll through Tinder. Get up and mingle, dance, and get a few drinks. If you wanted to scroll through Tinder you should have stayed home and scrolled. I personally think you just wasted your time.
LikeLike
In the article “Tinder and The Dawn of The Dating Apocalypse” by Nancy Jo Sales she talks about how dating used to happen through meeting partners through friends and family. Now you can get sex with the swipe of your finger on an app. I think dating is becoming more complicated, stressful, and pressured. Everyone down to the age of thirteen is frantically skimming over Facebook profiles looking for someone that is attractive that might be a good match. All I pick up from dating is a bunch of teenagers and young adults on social media trying to have sex without it turning into a relationship. Why date someone if you can have sex with a different person every night just by sending them a quick message on your cell phone? Nobody wants to date anymore unless they are looking to settle down.
LikeLike
The author definitely shows more bias towards women. Sales uses words like ‘fuckboy’ to describe men that use Tinder to hookup. Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, she discusses how these random hookups might potentially ‘hurt women.’ The article would have been more convincing of her points if she had solely used interviews. Interviewing those who have actually used these dating apps would be more beneficial to prove the points that she was trying to make. In fact, I felt as though her bias towards women should have been dissolved when the women she interviewed said that they want sex just as much as the men using these apps.
LikeLike
I agree with Tynan DeShields. It’s not safe at all to do the online dating. You don’t know who and what you are dealing with or getting yourself into. How do you even know if the person is even real or not? You don’t know what type of sick person you will end up with. The first date could end up costing you your life.
LikeLike
In Nancy Jo Sale’s article, “So Easy” she talks about the easiness and availability the internet has made dating or hooking up. Sex is every where for girls and guys. She uses the app “Tinder” for example, saying that all you have to do now to know if someone is interested or not is swipe your finger to the left or right. Her article is very unbiased in gender usage however. She came to find out that with just as much as sending a text both males and females can basically call upon sex at any given time. Typical courtships and relationships are starting to diminish.Both girls and guys may receive a false sense of self importance, but honestly are treated as an option, rather than feeling valued.
LikeLike
I agreed with the statement that dating today has become very much like shopping for the latest brands and trends. I have only used a dating app once, and as a result, I was married. I remember going through everything the article talked about: receiving extremely sexual messages from men who just wanted to sleep with me and guys who just wanted nude photographs of me. I thought it was disgusting, and I right when I had decided to delete the profile, I met the man I eventually married. I think the modern culture is disgusting in its treatment of sex and relationships. It’s sad that this is happening. Call me old fashioned, but this isn’t how it’s meant to be.
LikeLike
When it comes to online dating people can tell you anything just for you to like their profile. There are a lot of people on there looking for sex, or wanting to cheat on their mate. What ever happened to meeting face to face. It seems like everyone went to online to find a date or that special someone. I don’t care for It myself. You could be meeting a crazy person or a murderer. If you choose to meet online It’s good to check that person out.
LikeLike
I believe that Sales’ research is fair, because it’s true. Dating is completely different for women and men period. She talks about men usually having the upper hand in whether or not they want to be faithful. I don’t think that it matters too much whether you’re on a dating app or you go about it the old fashion way. I love how she uses the term “Apocalypse” when describing the dating game or lack there of. The art of dating is extinct! It’s all about instant gratification, skip the part of spending time to get to know someone or seeing if there is a genuine connection people want to just get in bed with each other. So if you have a certain preference for your next bed partner then go on Tinder and swipe left!!!
LikeLike
This tinder article is really realistic and honest. I personally think that are become dumber and dumber to the point where all they care about is sex. And just like an alcoholic, they reach the point where they spend all there money and time on their addiction and they end up homeless and stinky.I think that common sense says that if your sleeping with a different women a month there is something wrong, I cant imagine people that do it with three or more different girls a week. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy.
LikeLike
Most of the articles have a group focus and often focus or mention the dating app Tinder. In the article “Too Easy”, they refer to it as just a way for men and women to have sex. Then they go on to complain about how “romance is dead.” Some women say that they are tired of being treated and just used for sex to which the guy will reply by asking why they are on Tinder in the first place.
LikeLike
I think that all of this culture of people hooking up online is dangerous. The negative aspect about all this dating apps is that women are being denigrate by men. Women are treated as sexual objects because every men that was interview in this article says that is easy to go,and have casual sex with a woman whenever they wanted to. I consider myself a feminist, and I am against the idea of men thinking women are sexual objects. I also know that is not only the men’s fault that women are having low self esteem. Online dating is not safe because you never know the intentions of a person that is behind a cell phone or computer. I think that all of this online dating is because people have fear of rejection.
LikeLike
In today’s world there are many new different varieties for dating and meeting new people. I feel that as time is moving on online dating is going to be the new trend to find your potential mate. We are in the race against the machine and letting the app tell you who your match comes out to be in my opinion is not love. Meeting your love in person and engaging with them for the first time is great. You get to see there characteristics and get to know them a lot more by talking to them face to face. You are supposed to go out and find love on your own, I feel that a lot of people turn to online dating because they do not know how to communicate in person. They feel a lot more confident talking to there person when they are typing on a phone or computer they met online and they do not really know them well.
LikeLike
I have responded to this Essay once before, and feel implied to comment once again for the sole reason of interest in this topic. I myself am a young male in my early 20’s and I find the whole concept of Tinder Dates Revolting. How could it be that our generation is so desensitized by the true values of relationships, that all you have to do to get involved in a strictly physical relationship, is type a a couple of words. What happened to the values of our parents? What Happened to the values of Chivalry? I am not judging those on Tinder, i am just judging the initial concept of dating apps. I myself have a Tinder, and I only really use it to match with people I already know and send them stupid pickup lines as a goof. I am not against one night stands, or hookups, I just think it is disrespectful to both men and women that people don’t have the decency to hit on them face to face at a bar like the good ole’ days, but are instead messaging them through an ad sponsored app.
LikeLike
I think this article justifies the importance dating of apps. In our society dating apps or websites is an easy way to meet single people near you. My best friend has gone on a couple dates with guys she has met on tinder, most of the guys she met they don’t talk anymore, but she thought it was nice to meet new people after ending a three year relationship not to long ago. Although most dates from tinder lead to hookups on the first date, I think it depends on the your intentions when you first download the app. Our generation is influenced by music and popular trends that lead to the ideal way of dating, which sex appeal always plays a huge role. I would like too our generation use less dating apps, and get to know each other before sex even becomes relevant.
LikeLike
I think that Sales did a good job of weaving the two types of views and opinions in the article. It was arranged nicely to where it went back and forth between men and women, like a debate. I think she used mostly interviewers opinions about Tinder dating and I think more expert opinions could have been used. I can agree and disagree about some of what was said throughout the article. However, I have never used the Tinder app but I know people who I have.
LikeLike
I agree with Glenda Harris. People are now becoming lazier than ever by using an app for dating to where they don’t even have to leave the house. Glenda also makes a point that online dating is dangerous because people aren’t who they really say they are. People should be able to make a connection face to face not screen to screen. Human contact is important and should be viewed as important in a relationship. Like she said it’s a race against people and machine and machine is winning.
LikeLike
I have used Tinder before. By before, I mean before I have my boyfriend that I have now, who I actually met through tinder.. Before Ross,. I received tons of odd and weird messages. By weird messages I mean the, “hey, trynna fuck?” Or “what are you looking for on here,I’m not looking for anything serious.” I never met up with anyone from tinder because everyone was weird as hell to me for sending me these types of messages. The message Ross sent me literally just said hey what’s up? And we talked from there, had a normal conversation about his day and mine, and then in a very none creepy way he asked if he could text me because it was using all of his internet. (Which is true, it uses a lot of Internet. ” we talked for 6 months over text before I would meet him. We finally Met, and about a month later we got together and have been together ever since.. There was no sex on the first time we hungout. It was just strictly personality for those 6 months. No booty pics or anything from him either. So, I think the way the boy approaches you, and the way you respond to them will take you to see what type of person they are, what they are in it for and so on. I understand how some guys would not consider these women they meet wifey material when they are giving it up on the first date. If they are doing it with them, then there is no telling who is they have done it with. I thin the interviews they put in this article are pretty accurate, which is really said. The world we live in Poole walk around like it is okay and normal to just have sex with anyone and flaunt it and people wonder why men don’t take women seriously or want anything serious with them. When you portray yourself as just the same how could they?
LikeLike
I do think that these apps that help people connect are nice enough but that it is no replacement for real, human interaction.
LikeLike
After reading the article, “So easy”: Nancy Jo Sales on dating apps and hookup culture, I feel like this article definitely shows bias toward each gender in the text, and there are a ton of examples. One example from the text of her showing bias toward different genders is the fact that she talks about how all guys want is to get on tinder and “hook-up” when really that isn’t all guys. If you’re going to generalize all guys to acting that way, just because some of the men she interviewed acted like that, then you would also have to say that women are on there for the same reason too, like when the girl said “ew, this guy has a dad bod.” Also she says that “Such a problem has the disrespectful behavior of men online become that there has been a wave of dating apps launched by women in response to it.” This is uncalled for because girls can act the same exact way.
LikeLike
I agree with Jaaron Richardson that no one is putting in the effort for a healthy relationship anymore, because my life experience confirms that. Many young people have lots of options because of these dating apps, making men view girls as just options rather than priorities as Sales points out in the original article. We are not willing to put in the effort for a real relationship and emotional connection, because we believe we have thousands of other options available for us. This new technological dating world leads to young adults just having sex with a new person every day. And it is so easy for women to catch feelings from this sex. Like Richardson said, even when females know it’s casual sex it still means more to them. I experienced this personally, as I knew that sex would not mean as much to this one guy, but I still somehow had hope that it would mean more as I had “caught feelings” for him. It’s just the hopeless romantic in me, and I think many women have these fairy tale romances and relationships ingrained in their heads from childhood. But this new dating world of apps and casual sex are ruining our idea of romantic relationships. We are now satisfied with a guy merely texting us back, instead of holding him to the higher standards of a real date. The fairy tale romance is becoming less and less work for men, due to the increase in their options of women. Somehow it is the men who have all the power in this hookup culture. The girls are always the ones waiting for the guy to text back or call them or want to hook up again. Once again, it is the idea of a real relationship that keeps men in power. Women are always waiting for a potential real relationship to form from hook ups, while men are simply already moving onto the next option. I think that if men did not feel like they had so many options all the time, they would make one girl their priority instead of just moving onto someone new. I hate this new hookup culture, and almost every girl I talk to hates the culture too. So I don’t understand why girls don’t just stop it. They all claim to hate apps like Tinder, yet they can’t get off it. If girls were to stop being so easy to get on Tinder and actually held boys to higher standards, I think the culture could actually change. But young adults seem to be too addicted to the concept of someone “liking” you or at least confirming that you’re attractive, so I don’t think it will end anytime soon.
LikeLike
I would say sales’ article shows that there is a distinct difference in what each gender is after depending on what side you’re on, the men (while not all of them) were shown to view the tender esque sites as more of portals for instant gratification through hookups, while the women while some might be on a similar search, tend to maybe use the platform in search of something slightly more substantial. What resonated with me least had to be the more female oriented approach to these apps, in my experience these apps seem to be more oriented towards instant hookup type experiences, that not to say you cant find something more than that through these, more often than not though its just a way for people to have those sort of quick date type nights.
LikeLike
Sales’ article did a great job showing both the male and female perspective of dating and hook-up culture in the Tinder age. She interviews girls and guys between the ages of 21 and 29 years old. They each provide a different view. She even interviews male and female experts who have done research in the field of sexuality and gender. Sales article was completely free of gender bias or prejudice. For example, Sales interviews a college student from Indiana who says 100% of guys are “fuckboys”, but she also interviews a male who says, “Women do exactly the same things guys do,” referring to girls who hook up and never speak to the guy again.
The interviews Sales shares are a mix of experts and everyday people who have firsthand experience using Tinder and the internet to find partners. This is important for this subject matter. It would be difficult to delve into the stark reality and ultimate consequences of what this new dating, or lack thereof, phenomenon without hearing from a blend of both experts and those actually living these scenarios every day, or every weekend.
LikeLike
Though I concede that online dating is an ineffective and taboo form of dating, I still insist that the culture of online dating is evolving as a response to the technological revolution we see today. McNair, in her response is extremely one sided in her opinions of online dating, stating that she has for long been against the idea and believes that unlike face to face experiences the compatibility of two people cannot be determined through online profiles. I agree and disagree with her statement. The first thing to observe while analyzing this topic is the motive behind the use of online dating websites. Are users thinking long term or short term? With my personal experience in college I have seen motives change with age. College has a latent function that sociologist for years have attempted to research. College serves as a mating ground. It’s unintended but a direct result of placing high volumes of similar people in a tight space. Technology has allowed for this latent function of college to spread into cities and high volume areas, with technology being the catalyst. Online dating is the forefront of dating as we continue to be me technologically focused. It is becoming a part of society, slowly integrating unseen norms and as Nancy Jo Sales said, changing the entire dating and hookup culture. In conclusion I dislike the idea of online dating and the idea of choosing a spouse or partner through an online profile, but with the rapid changing culture society might force the change in dating style, forcing people to become accustom to new styles and forms of personal interaction.
LikeLike
Dating is not the same as it was in the 90’s. Heck it is not even the same as it was in the early 2000’s. So much have changed. When I started dating in the late 90’s the only tech item I had on me was a pager. Yes, the good old fashioned pager that was only supposed to be used for emergencies from my parents. Did that happen? Yes and no. My friends would send me messages using number to my phone. When I started to date my senior year in high school, the guy I was dating, who soon turned into my boyfriend, would send me pages all the time. So much in one month the bill was over $500.00. Needless to say the pager was taken from me and my boyfriend had to pay my parents the bill. During the time of dating, I didn’t have a slender body. I still don’t. I have always been very curvy and thick. I would have a lot of boys around me. I did ask one day, to one of the guys, “why?” His response, “your personality”, the boys fell in love with my personality. They got to know me, they wanted to know more about me, the boys liked me for me.
Now fast forward to the 2000’s. I remember going to my friend’s house to spend the night. She had AOL on her computer and her parents were asleep. We went online and had to go into a chat room to see what it was all about. There we were, in our pajamas, giggling. Then we heard it, “ding”, and the first message came. We assumed it was from a guy, only because he gave us his age, location and gender. So of course we did the same, only we added a few years to our age and choose to say we lived in a different location. Then the conversation was off, about five minutes in the guy wanted to know if we would like to have sex over the computer. We found it so taboo, so of course we did it. We laughed the whole time.
Dating now, through the phone, there is no romance. No chance for the other person to even get to know the other person. You can’t meet mister or miss right just from one night of sex, if even that. People need to realize that you need to have a connection to have a wonderful relationship. I am not saying don’t have sex until you meet the right person. But just don’t cheat yourself and life by not bonding with a people. Sex only last so long, do you really want to be 80 trying to find your next sex partner?
LikeLike
Sales’ article reflection on the divergence of men and women on the gender spectrum is very equitable. It is evident that she remains unbiased when including comments from male and females, getting all sides of the story. For instance, infidelity is known to be more associated with men, however, Sales is sure to incorporate the opinion that, “women do exactly the same thing that men do,” said by Matt. Her entire article consists of it. Throughout the post, every stereotypical comment made about the male species, is counter-acted and vice versa. There ae no signs of any bias or prejudices.
LikeLike
I thought that Dan, the investment banker made a very interesting point when he compared online dating to food delivery. I had never looked at online dating from this angle before and it makes a lot of sense. It is easy now and can be done with just the swipe of a finger.
LikeLike
Today’s society is so stuck on technology and what one can do with it. Dating and hooking up has been added to this now, making it easy to bounce from person to person. I actually relate more to the testimonies from the women on “Fuckboys”. Men can be quite complex and yet we all know that sex is a hot topic for both sexes. I feel that I too have met these boys in my life of dating. When you could have a random hookup but you have also been lonely for the past few weeks and could really use a person to listen or cuddle. A “Fuckboy” is not that guy, they are for the purpose of sexual needs and that is all. Unfortunately many men fall under this category because they all want sex and for the percent of men that are interested in more,they seem to be hiding under a rock somewhere. I’m sure many people can relate to this as well. I don’t believe that all men are “Fuckboys” but a lot of men have been deemed this title because of their goal at the end of the night. If one does not want to be this, then stop expecting sex from strangers.
LikeLike
Today’s society is all about sex. Its disgusting to me how easy it is for somebody to cheat in a relationship. Its disgusting how people expect to have more that one partner. I often times say that i should have been born in another time. A time where people had morales and respect for themselves and the people they claimed to love and care about. Jennifer Baptiste says that a background check is the safest way to make sure a person is not a creep, i agree, STD and medical records should be included. Before long young people will have their first date at a doctors office. This society is disgusting to me.
LikeLike
The whole article just made me sad. It is tough to think that in society today it is so easy to have sex but, so hard to have a relationship. The technology has come to a point where we don’t get nor expect face to face interaction anymore. I believe people are really missing out the kind of insight you gain with traditional dating. It is absoulty okay to have sex with no intentions on building a reationship as long as both parties are understanding. But I think that a person really misses out on that special feeling you get when you connect with a person other than just physically.
LikeLike
in my opinion, i believe that finding someone online has its pros and cons. pros being that you can search up the exact kind of person that you are intrested in being with and get to know them in order for you to deturmine weather or not youre compatiable. the cons being that prople dont always tell the truth with their profiles and dont always upload the appoprtate profile picture that shows who they really are or if its een themselves in the first place, also people can lie alot about the kind of person they are. on top of all of that i believe that its a waist of time to dress up and be avaliable to dating yet be on your phone on a dating site the whole time, it kinda defeats the whole purpose don’t you think?
LikeLike
So true 🙂
LikeLike
Hey, great stuff you got there —
I know you get 1000s of these emails a day and I don’t want to waste your time. This will just be quick… pinky promise 😉
I noticed that you linked to vanityfair.com on online dating statistics at https://www.theysayiblog.com/2015/09/so-easy-nancy-jo-sales-on-dating-apps-and-hookup-culture.html.
Without beating around the bush, I have spent a lot of time putting together an awesome resource on online dating statistics (https://hernorm.com/online-dating-statistics/) and it would rock my day if you’d be willing to reference my resource on your page as well.
I realize it’s probably a pain for you to go into your back-end, update your page, etc… As such I’m more than happy to pay a small admin fee for the inconvenience – but if you’re willing to do it for free anyway, you rock!
Take care!
Sonya Schwartz
Managing Editor of HerNorm.com
Lifestyle & Relationships For Women Without The Fluff
LikeLike