What to wear on the first day of school. Who doesn’t stress out over that decision? Novelist Laurie Frankel was stressed out plenty about her first-grader’s first day, but the child was calm and certain. This September 2016 New York Times article describes what happened.
Read it here: Frankel, “’From he to she in first grade”
- Frankel’s essay presents a narrative of parenthood, a story of her child’s first days in first grade. Is Frankel also making an argument? If so, what is it? Using the templates and suggestions in Chapter 2 of your text, summarize Frankel’s argument. Do you agree with it? Why or why not?
- Frankel provides a detailed description of a very emotional family experience, yet her writing is spare and unemotional. Were you moved by her account? Why or why not? How well does she express her feelings about the experience? Why do you think so? Explain your reasoning.
- Frankel’s simple narrative actually includes a rather complicated They Say. In addition to reporting conversations she had with her child, she also reports imaginary conversations with other people. Where do these They Say elements occur? How well does she integrate them into her narrative?
- We know from the headline that the article will deal with a transition from “he” to “she,” so it shouldn’t have been a total surprise when that transition was described in the narrative. At what point in the essay does Frankel present it? What does she say? How effective is her description? Why do you think so?
- Frankel poses the question of whether we love our children best “by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally.” Clearly, she opted for the second alternative. Do you think she made the right call? Why or why not? Would your response have been different if you had stopped reading right after that line? In other words, did Frankel’s essay influence your response? Why or why not? Write an essay responding to these questions, using Frankel as your They Say.
They Say I Blog 
Yes, i think Frankel made the right call. Frankel was showing her child that she accepted him for who he was. Children show their creativity through their clothes. My response would have been the same after reading that line “by protecting them at all cost or by supporting them unconditionally.” Frankels essay did influence my response. Kids have every right to be who they want to be. Kids only want to express themselves. Frankel said kids should be comfortable with their selves, and she’s right. Frankel always gave her son the same amount of love and affection. She encouraged him to stick up to the bullies.And now her daughter knows who she really is. She got to embrace herself because of Frankel.Frankel loved and helped her. Your child will always be your child. You want them to accept you then you have to accept them. If i was Frankel i would have reacted and did the same exact thing. I want my child to feel comfortable and accepted. i will support his every decision.
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As a parent of a transgender child, I connected with this story personally. As Frankel was nervous, so was I. My child was a girl who feels like he is a boy and came out in 8th grade. The boy vs. girl clothing was not a surprise as my sister had worn boys clothing when she was younger because it was more comfortable. However, it was a surprise he felt this way for so long and didn’t express his feelings before 8th grade. I wish I would have had words of wisdom and role played with my child like Frankel did so he could have been more prepared for the comments and whispers. We should always stand up for our children and protect them even from family who doesn’t understand or agree with the decision. As a parent, all you want is for your child to be happy and healthy- mental, physically and emotionally.
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I agree that parents should support their children unconditionally, a point that needs emphasizing since so many people believe that there is a right way and a wrong way for a person to live their lives. I think that Frankel did the absolute best thing that she could for her child. I agree with Trisha above when she says that role playing was a great idea, this prepared her for what people would say at school. There is no right or wrong way to be, whatever makes a person happy, is right. When Frankel said, “Do we love our children best by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally,” I understood her worry and confusion. Many people are still not accepting and kind but that doesn’t mean that her child, or anyone else for that matter, should have to pretend to be something that they are not. Do whatever makes you happy and support whatever makes others happy, great job Frankel.
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I agree with what “Yes” said about how children have a right to express themselves, and parents accept and support their child no matter who they are. I think this is the best philosophy to have and unconditional love is the greatest gift a parent gives to their child. However, I do think that this ideology can be rather hard to put into practice when it comes to transgender children. We all want to be that parent like Frankel in the article who accepts her child for who she/he is, but it isn’t always as simple as Frankel makes it seem to be. Personally, I think I would struggle a bit if my kid wanted to be a different gender. I’m not saying I wouldn’t love them or accept them, but I just think that this acceptance is harder than Yes’s response with a rainbows and butterflies type of attitude.
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Laurie Frankel’s opinions on parenting indicate to me a sense of laziness and overthinking with regard to what should be a simple concept. The concept is that boys and girls are scientifically, biologically and mentally different. This difference should be seen as what makes us special but instead some parents give into childish whims when they should more actively support the child the way they are and not the way they see themselves. Unfortunately, the art of parenting is being lost to the more popular idea of friending. Parents are too consumed with “what if my child disagrees with me and doesn’t like me” to actually parent in a more practical, wise manner. Enabling fantasy is just as harmful to me as enabling drug addiction and appears to be a social epidemic on a previously unimagined scale. While it goes without saying that a parent should love their child unconditionally, that does not mean that the child should be raised with no conditions and boundaries. When taken to an extreme level, as it has in some instances, it appears to me as a form of child abuse as it promotes a future in which the child will have difficulty functioning with others. Vive la différence.
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Yes, I agree with article. Kids have a right to be what they want to be no matter what the situation is. As being a mother to a 2-year old girl it’s helps me know that my daughter can be anything that she wants to be. If she wants to express herself and wear basketball shorts and t-shirts; instead of dresses and skirts than I’m going to support her and let her. Parents these days don’t understand the factors of how their children wants to be. Instead they (Parents) put things in children’s minds that make them believe they have to be that person. Kids need to express, grow and experience things. With the supporting help of the parents, that your children be whoever they want to be in this world. Don’t judge and always love them.
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I don’t agree or disagree with Frankel, and I don’t think she is right or wrong either, as I have no idea what I would do in that situation. Reading this article gave me a perspective on the transgender idea that I really had never thought about. Before this, I thought “protection at all costs or unconditional support” were the same things. After reading this, I now know they are not. If I absolutely had to choose one I can honestly say I don’t know what I would choose, because I don’t know what it’s like to possibly be in he wrong body. I would never want my child to be bullied which means not letting them do things that might cause this to start. But, if that means making them unimaginably unhappy, I couldn’t do that to them either. All of these comments make sense and further Frankel’s argument. They provide further insight into a whole world I honestly had never even thought about. Would I want my child happy? Yes. Could I send them to school knowing they would be made fun of? I don’t know.
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I also agree with Cheyenne as she says parents make their kids be what they want, not what the kids themselves want to be. Thomas also makes this very clear as he calls Frankel lazy for overthinking “what should be a simple concept.” But with all of these responses, we need to take a step back a realize that sometimes not all people are okay with this huge amount of change. It can be very hard for some parents, and honestly was hard for me to understand before this article, too. I thought I wanted to dress my little girl up in ballerina skirts and pretty pink bows her entire life. But now I realize that if that’s not what she wants, it might not be what I want either. I agree with Mel she she says children should be what they want. This will help them grow their imagination and help them go really far later in life.
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While I do agree that you should love your child unconditionally, I would rather keep my child safe. If I had a boy that wanted to wear a dress to school I would tell them no. Not because I don’t want them to be happy, but I would rather keep them safe. I would rather them be mad at me for a little while than to be picked on at school. So like Thomas said there is a difference between being a parent and being a friend. Being a parent is doing what is best for your child and if you let them go to school in a skirt or a dress then you are allowing your child to be picked on. Kids can be very cruel and by letting your child do whatever he or she wants then you are making them very vulnerable to kids who will not be as understanding as an adult. As the child ages I would presume that the bullying would intensify. Soon the chuckling and the questions would become name calling, shunning, and shaming. “Yes” is right, your child will always be your child and that you should love and support them. However, you will need to draw the line and do what’s best to keep them safe, and if that means not always letting them express themselves then so be it.
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I also agree with Olivia and “Yes”. Showing your children the love and affection that they need will help them become what they need/ want in life. Frankel/ Olivia is right I would never want my children to be bullied for expressing themselves but making them unhappy and not comfortable with themselves isn’t an option either. Reading this article really helped me put an understanding on things that transgender and people that want to be different go through. The parents that let their children express themselves, in the long run your child would be happy.
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Frankels argument in this essay is simply, “Do we love our children best by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally?” I completely agree with her decision to allow her daughter to dress however she wanted. Even as kids, a person knows what they feel inside, and who they are. If we start at a young age teaching children that it is okay to be who they are, we are speeding up the process of equality together. Although Frankel did not show much emotion in the essay, I was still very moved by it. Her lack of emotion gave the reader a chance to form their own opinion, she did not give a specific answer, she simply left it up to the reader to decide what the right choice was to them. I think she includes the “they say” very well in her essay, she gives the reader a chance to question what “they” would say, what the other children would say, what society would say, not only to her son but to her as well. Towards the end of the essay is when Frankel presented the change from male to female, she stated “He had already decided. He didn’t think about that anymore. And he — she — never looked back.” This sort of transition from he to she in the essay was very moving to me. I think this was great placement for it to be said it was showing cross from one to the other, as she never looked back from wearing skirts, the family never looked back to calling her a boy. A whole new life was formed, and this was particularly moving to me. Thomas, you explained in your response that you feel that Frankel’s opinion on parenting, “indicate to me a sense of laziness and overthinking with regard to what should be a simple concept,” but I feel it was what a good parent should do. She did not make a life decision for a child on her own, she had to swallow her pride, her judgements, her thoughts of what others would think of her, and set it aside to allow her daughter to be happy. I feel that it would be particularly “lazy” to not listen to what your child wants, to put their needs and happiness aside to fulfill their own needs, or their sense of pride, to stray away from judgement. Which is something that for the rest of the child’s life, and the families life they will receive, judgment. So in my opinion, this was a very brave choice, that they will forever have live with. But worth it for their child’s happiness.
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I believe that Frankel made the right decision to let her child feel most comfortable as a girl, instead of forcing the gender she was born with, on her. Everyone’s surroundings influence them somehow, and for people like Frankel’s daughter, she was not phased by those influences to become a boy but she became who she really is. Confusion and asking questions in these cases are understandable. Having your child convert from one gender to another can be hard, but it’s worth letting them feel comfortable in their own skin. Towards the end, when Frankel describes the moment her daughter transitioned from “he” to “she”, it was very moving to me. To have your own child talk to you in a perspective where you cannot relate can shatter a parent because of the lack of understanding they have. For a parent helping their child through this, they will worry about what others have to say, because it shows a reflection of how they raise their children. And for them to care so much about what others think, shows how insecure a parent can really be. There a parents today that toss their child out on the streets or even abuse them because they aren’t following the social rules of their gender. But parents like Frankel are a blessing to this world. She treats her child with the same love and respect as if she were still a boy.
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I agree with Mel Toth’s statement that sometimes parents of transgender children want to provide unconditional love and support for their son or daughter but can have a hard time practicing that and making that transition. When making a lifestyle change it won’t be easy, and everyone involved will need an adjustment period. However, I disagree with what Toth said about Frankel making the whole process seem very simple in the article. Frankel and her husband were able to accept and unconditionally love their child for who she really was, but they did have fears and some reservations that Frankel expressed throughout the article. Such as, contemplating whether or not they should let their child wear dresses to school, repeatedly asking her child if this is what she really wanted, or trying to hide her fear of what other kids might say on the first day of school. Tisha said that parents want their children to be “happy and healthy” in all aspects. I agree with this statement and I think that is what causes parents, including Frankel, to have their fears and struggles. They want to tell their children to be who they are and be comfortable in their own skin, but fear what other people’s comments could do to their child, or even fearing some might become physically aggressive.
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Frankel did the right choice by accepting who her child was.She didn’t try to force her to wear shorts and T-shirts like a boy. Frankel and her husband did accept their child with unconditionally love for who she truly was, but they did have some fears like bullying from the other kids.The line that the teacher said to “support our child “no matter what.” really gets to me because that all the child needs is support from the family and teachers. I 100% disagree that Thomas calling “Laurie Frankel’s opinions on parenting indicate to me a sense of laziness and overthinking with regard to what should be a simple concept”. how is that laziness to care and let who her child wants to be.Its not about the child disagreeing with Frankel. Its about letting the child be who they want to be AND LOVE THEM NO MATTER THEY DECIDE.
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While many people still subscribe to the tradition that only girls wear skirts and boys wear shorts and t shirts, Laurie Frankel allowed her son to wear skirts to his first day of first grade, despite what she feared other children would say to him. There is a resounding sense that Frankel did the right thing by supporting her son no matter what, and I agree. I really appreciate that she felt comfortable enough to tell her story so that more people going through similar situations can feel more comfortable making a more informed decision about how to handle it. I think that Tisha’s comment is a testimony to how powerful this article is and how people in this situation really find solace and comfort in knowing that someone else struggled and eventually found the best thing for their child. I think that Frankel really did the best thing for her child by allowing him to express himself in the way he feels comfortable and loving and supporting him unconditionally. I like that she included that she doubted that her son would continue to wear skirts because of the ridicule but that her son was strong enough to stick up for what he believed in and continue to live the life he chooses- I think that’s the mark of good parenting.
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In this article, Laurie Frankel shares her story about her son’s transition from a boy to a girl and what it was like as a parent during that time. I think through her article, Frankel sheds light on what that experience is like for the parent as well as what her son was going through at the time. I believe her article is effective in helping others with similar stories, like Tisha said, and I think that shows how many people can relate to Frankel’s story. I think Tisha also has a valid point when she brings up how role playing would have helped her child to help prepare her for the way others may react. I think it was a good idea for Frankel to role play with her son before he went to school so that he would have an easier time dealing with the comments and reactions of other students. I also agree with Sam when she says that parents should support their kids unconditionally. I think it is important that kids get to choose the life they want to live and, even though it may be difficult, parents should support them and love them no matter what. I disagree with Thomas’s comment that Frankel’s parenting style is lazy and that she overthought the situation. He is mistaken because he overlooks the fact that for any parent or person, this situation is probably very stressful and confusing. Frankel did what she thought was best for her son by making sure that was what he really wanted and that he would be ready to face whatever came his way in the future. I think the fact that she talks about how now her daughter is happy with who she is and as a family, they are open and honest about their situation shows that her parenting style was successful in helping her daughter feel comfortable in her transition from a boy to a girl.
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Frankel was trying to make an argument as well because I am sure that there are parents out there that would not allow this type of behavior. I am sure that there are parents that would not want their child to go through that because they are worried about what others would say. I feel like there are some parents that would force their child to wear the clothes they are supposed to, girls wear dresses and skirts, and boys wear jeans and a shirt. Not every parent would agree with what Frankel decided to do, by letting her son transition already into their daughter. I feel like some parents would completely disagree. Most parents would just think of it as a stage that the child is going through and that it will all blow over eventually. But that is not necessarily always the case, it could be the start of a transition and from that point on their son transitions to their daughter instead. The argument is that you support you children no matter what their decision is and no matter what the age is.
I am kind of at an agreement with the fact that with children should be able to express themselves however they want and that you should support them no matter what. But at the same time I almost disagree. I feel like going through a transition that early is a bit much to me. I feel like in first grade, the child is not really sure what they want at that point, it honestly might just be a phase that they are going through. I understand that the mother just wanted to support what was going on, but at the same time she could have put an end to it at some point. The child was only carrying on with it because the mother was carrying on with it. And I understand that it could be a hard position to be in, but I feel like the mother should have handled it a little differently by taking more control of the situation by changing things around and making more decisions for the child rather than the child making them all by itself. It is hard to pick which side I agree with, as if it was the right thing for her to do, or if it was the wrong thing to do. But overall, I am not a parent so it is hard to relate to a situation like this. It is her child and she is the mother she can raise her child however she feel is right, and if she feels like she did the right thing, then she did the right thing. That is just how she handled the situation, everyone, I am sure, would have handled the situation a little differently. Some would agree and some would disagree it is all based off of everyone’s opinion.
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Frankel’s decision to support her child’s fashion sense is the way all parents should respond to such a situation. Love is about giving someone the freedom to grow and express themselves without fear of judgement. Her choice to allow her son to choose to wear clothing traditionally meant to be worn by girls,and then eventually allowing him to transition into a girl altogether, ways a act of true love for her child. My response would have been the same regardless of whether I read the article or not. To me, love is trying to mold someone to fit the roles society has assigned them, but by encouraging them to be who they are despite the opposition they may face.
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God bless these parents! This situation would push a lot of people to their limits, but this mother seemed to handle the situation well. That being said, I do disagree with the parent’s decision allowing their child to wear a dress to school. I agree that a person should be free to be them self without fear of persecution, but you have to protect your first grader. At some point the parent in you has to come out and influence your child to follow the cultural norm. Allowing a first grader to make this decision that carries lifelong implications on their own is not appropriate. A first grader simply doesn’t have the life experience to make this decision on their own. If the child still feels that he is more comfortable in a dress in middle school or high school, then I would support the child in how he wishes to live. I agree with Thomas that this child’s parenting should be called into question considering this child was ready to make this decision at such a young age. Thomas says parents become overly worried about their child disagreeing with them. I believe that parents should be willing to put their foot down every once in a while for the benefit of their child’s future.
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While Aaron is probably wrong when he claims that stifling a child’s self-expression is helpful, he is right that it should be a parent’s first priority to protect her child, in Frankel’s case. This is a hard topic to argue, as I’m not a parent, but I do have a few friends who have been through this situation. I agree that it is difficult to let a child make his or her own choices, especially when the parents know it could be detrimental, or even dangerous. Aaron’s response to Frankel’s article sparks a huge debate on whether or not children should be allowed to express themselves by fashion, regardless of the consequences. We live in an advancing society, so I believe that children should wear what they want. I disagree with Aaron on the idea that parents try to be friends with their kids, which is why they let them wear what they want; I believe that being a good parent means supporting your child, and that leads to letting your child wear what he or she wants, and knowing that he or she has your support either way.
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I agree with Frankel’s decision to allow her son to wear dresses and skirts because she is providing her son the ability to do something that makes him happy. She is permitting her son to express himself in his own way. I agree with Sam’s statement that no one should have to pretend they are something that they are not. Since Frankel’s son felt comfortable and enjoyed wearing dresses she decided that her child’s happiness was more important than what everyone else’s thoughts were. I believe that parents should support their children in the decisions that they make. I understand the hard decision Frankel had to make regarding what her child should wear to school. Since society believes boys should not wear dresses it would have been much easier for her to forbid her son to wear dresses so he would fit in with the other children at school. I believe Frankel made the right decision by allowing her son to be himself and express himself in a way that makes him happy.
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I agree with KJ’s opinion on this matter. Letting a child wear clothing that they want to wear that defies gender norms does not mean a parent is trying to be a friend to their child, it means they are trying to be a good parent. It was interesting to read Laurie Frankel’s perspective on the issue as a parent facing this specific situation. She had to make a very hard decision as a parent and I won’t even begin to assume I know what it is like to have to make a decision like that. I do know that when making a decision like this you have to balance your child’s mental wellbeing and their emotional wellbeing. You may fulfill one while risking damaging the other. I can’t say whether a decision is right or wrong, but I can respect Frankel’s ability to make one.
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Frankel’s decision was a good example of people trying not to offend others at the cost of the truth. Basic biology, genetics, and psychology all point to the fact that Frankel’s child being a male. It is the parent’s job to love and help the child, but not be his friend. Seeking mental help and teaching the kid that they are a male and need to act accordingly may be difficult, but is raising them correctly. A child may believe that they can fly or that they don’t have to go to sleep until midnight may make them happy, but the parent must make the mature decision for the child. Children should not be the decision makers in the family, and Frankel showed a lack of hard parenting. The child may have been more comfortable in a dress, but he will now grow up believing he is a woman that happened to have male genitalia and XY chromosomes. Science would suggest otherwise, society has very little to do with this phenomena. Once the child became an adult, he can decide his own actions, but until then I believe the parents should teach reality instead of fantasy.
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One controversial issue in America today is transgender children and how to appropriately educate and teach kids how to deal with said issues. Laurie Frankel talks about her own experiences with such an issue in her article “From He to She in First Grade”, narrating her own story about her son’s gender switch in the first grade. She explains his desire to dress as a female, not concerned with the opinion of his classmates, eventually making every effort to be a full girl. Frankel analyzes how her thinking on the subject has impacted her perception of transgender kids, and the reaction that many children had was mostly indifferent and accepting.
Frankel’s article is useful in analyzing the transgender debate because it shows the desire parents have to protect their children but also let them express themselves, and it demonstrates that small children can be accepting and understanding of others as long as the adults in the situation handle it with care and explanation. I believe we as a society are not as accepting and understanding of transgender people as we should be, especially within children. I have stated many times before that I believe that children are not born hateful, it is the environment they are put in and the role models in their lives that create this ideology. I believe Frankel’s experience and story can be used as a lesson for other transgender kids, and the accepting nature and virtue we should show when dealing with such issues.
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In her piece, “From He to She in First Grade” writer Laurel Frankel explains her own experience grappling with what to do when her little boy decided he wanted to start dressing as a girl. When it comes to the topic of sexual identity and transgender children, one controversial issue has been how to parent a child who may be transgender and where is the line between a child playing dress-up and a child expressing who they truly are. Whereas some are convinced it is a parent’s duty to end fantasy and force a child to dress in accordance to their sex assigned at birth, others embrace the possibility of having a transgender child and maintain that good parenting is allowing a child to dress in whatever they feel most comfortable in. I disagree with commenter Bradely Fayonsky’s view that a child’s wish to dress as another gender is fantasy and a cry for mental health because, as recent research reported by the LA Times this past June shows, being transgender is not a mental illness. Though I concede that yes biology does show Frankel’s son is male, I still insist that does not always mean that gender is what a child feel most comfortable in. Furthermore, I agree that a parent should be a parent first and a friend second however Fayonsky is in the wrong by implying that being a parent means forcing a child to be something no matter what makes the child feel most comfortable as. In short, by focusing on the outdated and close minded belief that being transgender is a mental issue or fantasy, Fayonsky overlooks the deeper problem of children being uncomfortable with who they are and children being bullied in school for expressing their true self.
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I personally disagree with Aaron’s opinion on the matter of keeping your child safe and keeping them happy. While he believes that it is more important to keep them safe and have them be slightly upset about them not getting to be themselves, I believe that it is more complex than that. Although there are risks of bullying and name-calling, there is also the worry that while you are trying to keep your child safe, you are suppressing both their creativity and their sense of self. I feel that at such a young age it is easier to be accepted by your peers, and it is very important to let your child know that you are there for them. By letting them be themselves you are instilling a sense of trust and compassion in them. Both Frankel and her son had a lot of courage to do what they did, and I believe that she made the right decision. By letting her son live the life of a little girl the way he always wanted, she is helping him grow as a person. The fact that she is giving in to her son’s desires does not mean that she is giving up her means of protecting him, or make her any less of a mother. It is simply allowing him to live the way he wants and be happy in his own skin.
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Although I agree with Bradley up to the point of the parent making the right decision, I cannot accept his overriding assumption that it was to not offend other people. I believe that the author made the correct choice because it is what her child needs to do. I believe that just because the child asked to dress up as a girl does not mean they are automatically transgender nor do they need mental help, but most of all the parents are not raising the child wrong. The parents are simply allowing the child to experiment with new choices. Personally, I believe that almost every guy has wondered at some point in their life why women want to wear heels and what it feels like to be wearing them. Frankel simply let her child act upon a general curiosity. What if her son came home and simply did not enjoy wearing the girl clothes to school? Would people still question his mental status or the parents? No, because the child went back to what was seen as the norm, however by allowing her son to try something new, she fostered the son’s creativity and curiosity about life. I disagree with Bradley mainly due to the fact that he automatically jumped to the point of calling her a bad parent and saying the child needed mental help. Frankel’s son simply had a curiosity that his mother allowed him to act on, thus fostering his mind for more curiosities by the son knowing his mother will be there to support him, which I view as good parenting.
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I agree with Bradley, who argues that parents should teach reality not fantasy. Parents should raise their kids based off what their genes and chromosomes say. They shouldn’t raise them to believe they are something they are not. As a parent you should raise your child in the gender that was given to them at birth, not a lie. A boy shouldn’t wear dresses and makeup, I just believe that hinders the kids ability to grow and mature. It also really destroys their social aspect of life. If that’s really what the child wants, then at 18, when they are an adult, they can go out into the world and make that decision. But as a child and teen, the parent holds a responsibility to raise their kid properly to its gender.
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There is currently lots of controversy surrounding transgender people, especially when talking about transgender children. In her article, Laurie Frankel uses her own personal experience with her son’s transition to address a current situation that is being faced by many families around the world. Her main argument is that a parent should be supportive of their children while still keeping their best interest in mind. Frankel explains the time in her life when her son began to express desires to dress “like a girl”. She explains how she had lots of doubts in her decision making throughout the process, but she states that she ultimately decided that the best thing for her child would be to allow her to be herself and live the life that makes her happy.
While I cannot personally relate Frankel’s situation, I can imagine the inner turmoil then she faced while deciding what was going to be best for her child. I agree with most of the main points that she presents. While I am not a parent, I know that a parent is a child’s first and closest support system. I believe that it is a parent’s responsibility to be fully supportive of their child and accept them for who they truly are and how they choose to live their life. I think that Frankel did the best thing for her daughter. Even though it may have been tough in the beginning for her child, in the end it will be a decision that will make both her and her daughter the happiest.
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Yes, in my opinion Frankel made the right call.My response would have been the same after reading that line “by protecting them at all cost or by supporting them unconditionally.” My response would of been the same because I feel kids should feel comfortable in there own skin and be able to embrace who they want to be. Frankel said “kids should be comfortable with their selves”, and she is one hundred percent right. Frankel always encourage him to embrace himself and to stick up for bullies. If I was Frankel would of done the same exact thing. I will love my child unconditionally and support any and every decision they want to make.
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First, it is hard for me to connect to this on a personal level with out having a kid. I do agree that you should not control how your kid looks, talks, and dresses. I believe letting your kid figure out what they like and how they dress is how they find out who they are as a parson. Its also how they grow up to if you are always deciding what they wear for them they will never learn how to make their own choices. If you are always making up their minds on everything they will never make their own opinions.
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Me being a nonparent and all I could only imagine how weird it is if your son likes to dress up in dresses and skirts. It is good to let your kids make some decisions but it will also affect you in the long run. I do not think she made the right choice I think she should have had her son dress like a young man because now he will always be known as the boy who wore dresses and skirts. I do believe she took the easy way out of the situation. I would have made my son dress like a little boy not a girl. I see where they came from giving him different clothes to dress up in but there are certain roles with the clothes you play dress up with. No Frankel’s essay did not influence my response because I think boys dress like boys and girls dress like girls and then no one is getting picked on for the rest of their lives.
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I am moved by her because there is nothing wrong of being yourself. That boy who later becomes a girl is a good role model because she is brave and not scare who she wants to be. She express her feelings well because she describe how the parent’s reacted to their son when he told them he wants to wear girl clothes on his first day of school. The reason why the parents were worry because lots of people will see that it’s okay that girls act and play like a boy and even dress like one, but the same time it’s not okay that a boy dresses like a girl. It’s not normal that a boy wear girl clothes and that’s why the parents were worry and it’s not common that any boy will like to wear girls clothes. I agree with Bradley Fayonsky because it’s the parents job to keep their child on tract. Also it’s a parents job to love and except the boy and love how they act.
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It was inspiring to read this story because, even though I don’t have kids, I have eight siblings. I was able to relate to the conflict of wanting the child to be happy but also wanting to relentlessly protect the child. It comes from love, but as Frankel questioned: does love let the child dress as they please, or does it tell them that they must dress a certain way outside of play at home.
I hope that all parents can be as understanding and open as Frankel and her husband were. Letting their son grow, play, and dress as he played allowed him to become the woman she was meant to be. The idea that parents can refuse to let their children play or dress the way they want is sad. It robs the children of what makes them happy. In this sense, parents almost value gender roles more than their child’s happiness. That may be for protection.
This also serves as a reminder that parents can parent the way they please. No one can be told they aren’t parenting right; there is no perfect parent. I’m not even a parent but, Frankel’s article provided insight to a way I might be a parent one day. When I’m faced with difficult choices, I know someone else has, too. While those choices had to be made, hopefully, a happy child is what resulted: that’s what I would hope for
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The article is very descriptive and by the title I did not expect that to happen. The transition begins when the little boy gets the new play dress up clothes. The clothes were used for dress up but, then becomes an everyday routine.The little boy had enjoyed and felt comfortable in the clothes that he wore in public and his parents supported his decision. The parents had made the right choice in supporting there son the way he wanted to be. They let he make his own choices and I believe that it is very important that parents listen to how there kids feel. In the end the parents did the right thing and the boy was happy with who he was and what he wanted to in making his position.
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I was moved by this because its sad how the parents didn’t know how to deal with it. They should’ve been better parents and help there daughter from the beginning. Kids have the right to be whatever they want to be, like being transgender. No one is going judge because there is a lot of people changing there gender to the opposite one. I feel like in the begin she wasn’t on board with it because she was scared of what people are going to say about her daughter,but now she doesn’t have worry about it. the daughter is happy now that she could finally be her self.
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I believe Frankel made the right choice. She showed her son she accepted him for who he truly was. Also if she told her son he could not wear a dress, he would have been unhappy. If we truly want to support our children unconditionally that means letting them wear what they choose and to be happy. Frankels essay did influence my response. Kids just want to be themselves and express themselves in every little way. When I first started reading this essay I thought she was completely wrong for even buying him dresses in the first place, but after reading the whole thing I believe she made the right decision and basically gave him the choice to be who he wants. She didn’t keep him in a box and tell him he could only wear boy clothes because he was a boy. Frankel also showed her son how to stand up to bullies and not let them take you down. She showed her son how a true parent is supposed to love their child and accept them for who they truly are.
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I was very moved by Frankels account. I was moved because not a lot of parents are very open to the idea of their child being transgender. They might think its their fault that they are transgender or that its a problem that they should be ashamed of. She is so open and encouraging to her child about all of this and wants nothing but the best for her. I feel thats how all parents should be not judging and supportive. She expresses her feelings very openly and asks her daughters opinions and how she will react to any of the comments people make towards her or about her.
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I also believe that Frankel made the right choice as a parent to not reject her child, but to be understanding and show her support for her son. However, I do believe this whole problem of worrying about what to wear to school, and not get made fun of would be solved by requiring school uniforms. This way parents like Frankel wouldn’t have to worry about their children sticking out from the group or being isolated from their peers. It would be appropriate if the boys all wore the same uniform and the girls all were the same uniform that way no one would have to worry about feeling uncomfortable. Even still, I believe that if a boy has the biological makeup of a boy, they should dress like a boy and use the same bathroom as the boys. Otherwise it would make girls and boys uncomfortable if one of the other genders had the opposite outfit on, and they would be questioned or made fun of by their peers. The whole point of school uniforms is to save money by having one outfit and not spending a lot on multiple outfits. Also, if everyone dresses the same then there won’t be an argument or concern about someone being bullied or socially casted out from their friends and fellow students. I am a traditionalist and I hope I am not offending anyone, I’m just stating what I believe is right and how school uniforms could solve this problem.
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Frankel provided details to let you know how she felt throughout the experience in a way to not persuade you to feel how she did. She does this by creating a ground where readers can form their own ideas about what she has laid out to say. Frankel’s words moved me to understand families and why certain people do the things that they do.
Often I have seen people that choose to be of the opposite gender that they are. It is permissible for people to be who they are to feel that they are loved. Not always do people want to agree that people being accepted for who they are is substantial. All too often people say that they want to be accepted but do not accept others that are just as worthy as being accepted. This is exactly how Frankel’s writing moves me by explaining the truth. From a first-hand account Frankel explains her experience with the worlds prejudges.
The experience is explained in a manner of what simply happened, just the facts. By allowing readers to understand her true feelings about the experience she gives insight to what people might not know if they read the story without her thoughts. When a reader can relate to the writer the essay is easier to understand. If the audience did not know how she felt about the experience the essay would have turned out differently. It may have just been viewed as an essay about how a young boy turned into a girl with his parents influence.
The writer changed most individuals the perspectives on the topic by explaining the common challenges that parents face in raising human beings. Frankel expressing her feelings in a calm manner allowed the readers to see directly the truth she wanted to portray without showing persuasion. Readers could build their own ideas from what she said.
Another example of how Frankel’s writing had expressed feelings that appeal to the readers’ logic. When a writer can appeal to the readers’ logic, as Frankel has done, it makes the article appear to be well constructed and thought out. Often individuals can be lead astray by their emotions but the mind is necessary to keep one in balance. Frankel uses that approach in this writing in the correct format for the topic at hand.
All too often individuals try to appeal to ones emotions, in regard to people wanting to be the opposite sex. Sometimes people in the audience do not have the ability to relate to the readers persuasion to ones emotions. In contrast, logic runs strongly along the lines of common sense. Common sense is simpler to create an equilibrium among people, rather than emotions that can run in many diverse directions. If I wanted to create a certain feeling in my audience I would keep a situation that most people could relate to, such as one individual killing another person.
If someone was trying to fight for the opposing side to relate with the individual considered guilty, the defendant does not want to try to appeal to emotion. Emotion is not going to be something one would feel for another that is suspected to have killed another, however logic appears to provide a difference outcome. When a defendant appeals to logic that can be permissible in the sense of justice, reality and truth. Frankels’ writing affected by view of the situation in a logical sense.
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We almost always tend to believe that if a child is born a girl or a boy then they have to stay that way without considering that the particular person have emotions and we should accept them as well. I believe that Frankel made the right decision, allowing her son to wear whatever he felt is right for him. Even as kids, a person knows what they feel inside, and who they are. If we start teaching our children at a young age that it is okay to feel different and do/wear whatever feels right for them, we will spread the idea of equality and that no one has the right to judge. Frankel did now show much emotions in this essay; however, the lack of the emotions gave people the opportunity to have their own opinion about her. In my point of view she stated what “they say” very clearly, but at the same time left people questioning what would they say, what c=would the society say, not only to het son but to her as well. Towards the end of the essay Frankel presented the change from male to female, she wrote “He had already decided. He didn’t think about that anymore. And he — she — never looked back.” Therefore, parents never locked back to calling her a boy. In my opinion the fact that in the end her daughter felt happy with whoever she is and their family is open and honest with each other, is a sign of good parenting and a big unconditional love that a parent should give to their child.
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Frankel’s essay on raising a transgender child was extremely moving, It takes a lot of courage to talk about this controversial issue, it is people like Frankel that are helping to educate those who lack understanding and compassion for the transgender community; In addition, evidence shows that the mental health of transgender children is boosted by family support. By sharing her experience Frankel is giving hope and fortitude to those parents who are struggling with this difficult situation.
Admittedly there will be people along the way who will judge and criticize so having a support system, especially that of the parents, is of monumental importance. I congratulate Frankel’s daughter on her bravery.
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I agree with Olivia in that I am unsure whether Frankel did the correct thing in letting her child go to school in a fairy dress. Olivia states that she is unsure of what she would do in this situation, and I can’t help but agree that I would not know as well. Olivia argues that she would never want her child to be bullied, but alternatively she also would not want him to feel uncomfortable attending school in a dress. I agree with this idea completely. When Frankel asks, “ Do we love our children best by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally?” I can’t help but be indecisive as to what the correct answer is. Frankel provides an interesting and enlightening look into parenting a transgender child.
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I think Jfonse is mistaken because she overlooks Fayonsky’s overall point. Fayonsky is battling with whether it is best to be the parent that encourages her son to wear what he feels most comfortable in or protect her son from the potential bullying and non-acceptance from the world. I personally think as a parent Fayonsky made the right decision because the first thing a parent should do is make sure their child and is happy and healthy. In Fayonsky’s case, her son was most happy and mentally and physically healthy when he embraced his true self. As a parent Fayonsky decided to support her son’s identity and protect him from the naysayers. Although some people may not agree with her choice, Fayonsky’s main goal was to ensure her son was happy and her son was most happy as a girl, so he became a girl.
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There are many mixed responses to Laurie Frankel’s touching article, “From he to she in first grade.” There are some who completely support Frankel’s decisions of letting her son express himself and allowing him to change genders, and then there are some that condemn her actions as a denial of truth and a way to seek political correctness. However, the response that struck me most was by Olivia, who stated that she doesn’t agree or disagree with Frankel. This is exactly how I felt reading the article. I wasn’t sure how I would handle the situation, as I am still in college and haven’t even come close to being married or having a child. I hope that I can be as accepting as Frankel was with her daughter, and I know that no matter what I will be happy with my child’s decision if it ever came down to it. I have a great respect for Frankel and the way she handled her situation.
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I can connect with this story in a way because I have a cousin who is transgender. She was born a boy but ever since her freshman year of high school she is finally comfortable with herself. Although she was not at brave as this little boy. She would continue to wear shorts and and try to play rough and do anything she could to act like a boy. I remember hearing her mother and my mother talk on the phone and her mother was crying not because her child had told her and she was disappointed but because she felt awful that her child felt like that for so long. In our family it has not changed anything since she started dressing how she is comfortable. I still hear sometimes that she is made fun of in school but always comes back with a sassy yet classy comment. I am very proud of her.
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In the article, Clothes or costumes: Laurie Frankel on parenthood and gender choice, Laurie Frankel goes on to explain a sticky situation she was forced to face. Over the summer her son turned six. For his birthday her and her husband bought him a chest of dress-up clothes because he loved to put on plays. Within these clothes they included; ties, button-down shirts, a gray pageboy cap, a suit vest, high heels, a pink straw hat, a dazzling fairy skirt, and a sparkly green halter dress. They wanted to give him plenty of outfits to play around with so he could let his imagination set free in the theater realm. When he wore the sparkling green dress, he made it known that it was his favorite. He loved it. He slowly began to wear it around the house when friends would come over, and eventually he began to wear it to the store. When summer came to an end he told his mother that he wanted to wear skirts and dresses to school. This began to raise concerns for her and her husband. They were unsure as how to handle this situation. They didn’t know if they should protect their son from laughing crowd he would face at school, or if they should love and support him no matter what. Laurie was concerned about how the other students would react so he decided to email his teacher before the first day of school, giving her a heads up on the situation. The teacher insured that it was most likely a phase and that she would support her son’s decisions no matter what. Her son continued to wear his skirts to school regardless to what the other students said. At the end of the first week of school, her son was curled up in his bed in anger but didn’t care to explain to his mother what was bothering him. Laurie informed her son that he could stop wearing the skirts to school if the other kids were being mean. He sternly told his mom that he made a decision that he was going to wear skirts to school and that he doesn’t think about changing anymore. Soon enough Her and her husband took reins of the situation. They, as a family, were open and honest about the situation and decided to celebrate her story instead of hiding it.
This story is beautiful! I was very impressed with the parents decision and overall pleased with how they handled their situation. It would be incredibly difficult to make a decision that holds a huge variety of possible outcomes, knowing that it will forever affect your child. The statement Laurie made that put me in aw was; “Do we love our children best by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally? Does love mean saying, “Nothing, not even your happiness, is as important as your safety”? Or does love mean saying, “Be who you are, and I will love that person no matter what”? It warms my heart that this set of parents were so concerned with the well being of their child to take all matters, including their son’s feelings, into consideration. If my brother would have done something like that as a child, we most definitely would have seen a completely different outcome. With that being said, snaps for Laurie and her family!
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I agree with Thomas B when he talks about how hard a decision that would be and how it’s hard to criticize a parent’s decision in a situation like that. As a parent you want to make your child happy, but you also want to protect them as much as you can. When those lines intersect, a difficult decision is going to be made. The parent isn’t wrong if they let their son wear a dress to school, they are simply letting him be himself and letting him express himself. It shows strong character to not really care what people think about the way you express yourself.
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I was personally moved by Frankel’s experience because of how accepting she was of her daughter. Frankel took the situation in a respectful manner, as oppose to some parents that would react with anger. She made her text inclusive by writing about her thoughts at the time, and recalling the emotions she felt when dropping her son off on the fist day of school. In the end, Frankel demonstrated that a parents love should be unconditional, regardless of who their child wants to be.
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I also agree with Sam’s statement, nobody shouldn’t pretend too be somebody they’re not. allowing others to be who they are and letting them be happy is the greatest thing. Bulling individuals about being who they want to be is never okay. I believe that people need to be left alone and to never hurt anyone’s feelings. You never know what they’re going through in life. But, showing everyone that you’re happy and don’t care what people think just like that little boy did in the article is what everyone else needs to do. Who cares what people think just be yourself!
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