What to wear on the first day of school. Who doesn’t stress out over that decision? Novelist Laurie Frankel was stressed out plenty about her first-grader’s first day, but the child was calm and certain. This September 2016 New York Times article describes what happened.
Read it here: Frankel, “’From he to she in first grade”
- Frankel’s essay presents a narrative of parenthood, a story of her child’s first days in first grade. Is Frankel also making an argument? If so, what is it? Using the templates and suggestions in Chapter 2 of your text, summarize Frankel’s argument. Do you agree with it? Why or why not?
- Frankel provides a detailed description of a very emotional family experience, yet her writing is spare and unemotional. Were you moved by her account? Why or why not? How well does she express her feelings about the experience? Why do you think so? Explain your reasoning.
- Frankel’s simple narrative actually includes a rather complicated They Say. In addition to reporting conversations she had with her child, she also reports imaginary conversations with other people. Where do these They Say elements occur? How well does she integrate them into her narrative?
- We know from the headline that the article will deal with a transition from “he” to “she,” so it shouldn’t have been a total surprise when that transition was described in the narrative. At what point in the essay does Frankel present it? What does she say? How effective is her description? Why do you think so?
- Frankel poses the question of whether we love our children best “by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally.” Clearly, she opted for the second alternative. Do you think she made the right call? Why or why not? Would your response have been different if you had stopped reading right after that line? In other words, did Frankel’s essay influence your response? Why or why not? Write an essay responding to these questions, using Frankel as your They Say.
They Say I Blog 
I agree with Frankel’s decision to allow her son to wear dresses and skirts because she is letting her son to be able to do something that makes him happy.The point is that boys and girls are completely different. This difference should be seen as what makes us special and they should more actively support the child the way they are and not the way they see themselves.We should always stand up for our children and protect them even from family who doesn’t understand or agree with the decision.
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Fenkell poses the question of rather we love our children unconditionally or love them the way they are and I agree with the quote. Rather or not our child is straight or the opposite way we should love them either way. I believe that she made the right call and said all of the right things. Do you agree with her statement? Should ones be told what they can and or cannot wear? They should all have the same chances everyone else has.
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Frankel tackles the tough choice of being a pragmatic parent concerned with the safety of their child in what is easily a make-or-break scenario, requiring proceeding with as much caution as possible, adequately assisted with the unconditional love and tender care expected of a parent. She stresses the importance of not shunning one for the other, putting hearing as key to achieving an equal balance of both. It is through asking her child questions, rehearsing possible reactions, and constantly coming back to assure their assured position, that she achieves this pragmatism without shunning the feelings of her child and their need to express themselves. I stand in stark agreement with Frankel’s choice to having her child lead the way in their gender expression, as it is much more harmful to attempt to repress such strong feelings. Frankel’s account was laced with a pace and tone that absolutely conveyed strong emotions to and from me, as when recounting such an emotional experience, it is often writing through a detached point of view that the intensity of the event can be accurately portrayed. She simultaneously is able to weave in the hypothetical conversations she and her child took part in without deviating too far from their own standpoint and opinions that happen to be the sole purpose of such a “They Say” paragraph. The pronouns are switched at the exact moment in the narrative when the child indefinitely puts all doubts about their gender expression to bed. Frankel inserts “she” as soon as she asserts her child was not intending to look back; an effective narrative device used to proclaim the unapologetic transition. I believe Frankel astutely made the right call in choosing to love her child just the way they choose to present themselves, and never leaving any questions or doubts lingering in either of their minds; proving safety and unconditional love are not mutually exclusive concepts.
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In the article, “From He to She in First Grade”, Laurie Frankel discusses the evolution of her son’s gender identity. It all started when the author purchased costumes for her son. Among the costumes was a green, sparkly dress. Frankel’s son instantly fell in love with the dress and started wearing it more and more. It became clear that the boy loved to wear what is considered as “girl’s clothing.” As first grade drew closer, the parents gave the boy the option to wear girl’s clothes to school if he wished to. Both the boy and the parents were at first apprehensive. In the article, Laurie expresses her inner conflict: should she protect her child at the expense of his happiness or should she support his decision? Ultimately, Laurie supported her son while informing him and preparing him for the possible consequences. Even though he was bullied, he did not let that stop him. In the end, Laurie’s support of her child led to a son confidently blossoming into a young lady.
The article describes a situation that every parent may face in some way or another; whether or not to protect their child from being subjected to the ridicule of others or to support their decisions. I believe that Frankel’s argument is to accept our children as they are and support them in embracing their identity. We should never stifle our children yet we should still guide them. The author guides her child by discussing the circumstances that might arise during school and how to react to them.
While I wholehearted agree with the author, there are some situations where the right answer is not so clear. This article reminded me of the controversy around giving children hormones or sex reassignment surgery. Should parents allow their children to alter their body in such a permanent way? On one hand, the child could avoid having their current gender features grow and be spared years of discontent. On the other, a child’s brain is not fully developed and every aspect of a child’s life changes with time. One day the child may come to regret their decision. I personally do not know what I would do if I were a parent in this situation.
I think that Frankel’s rhetorical strategies were effective. Instead of simply presenting her argument and feelings, she uses a personal narrative that thoroughly describes how she feels and why. She presents the green, sparkly dress as a symbol. This simple dress ignited a young boy to search for his true self. To the boy, the dress represented the freedom of choice that not all children have. While the author’s article does not rely on pathos as one may expect, I still was very moved by her account. Frankel succeeds in presenting her perspective on a conflict that every mother faces in some way. Her argument can raise consciousness on the protection vs support debate and on the acceptance of the transgendered community. Every child should have their chance to discover their passions and identity.
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This is a very sensitive and important subject that Laurie Frankel writes about in From He to She in First Grade, being transgender. I do not know how common it is for children of this age to realize they are identifying themselves as the opposite sex or if they are just role playing, as stated in the story. In all reality, it would be difficult as parents to allow a child as young as the boy was in the story to dress as a girl when starting school. Not because parents would not be supportive of their child but because of the cruelty the child would be subjected to by their peers and possibly other adults. It may also be difficult for parents to accept their child being transgender at such a young age believing they are just going through a phase, and will grow out of it. Regardless of what people may think some people are born transgender, and as parents it is imperative that we support our children despite what we ourselves may believe. This is something that has, is, and will continue to be reality for people, and whether people want to accept it or not the transgender community needs to be understood, accepted, and respected just like any other group of people, and not demonized.
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From He to She in First Grade, an article written by Laurie Frankel for The New York Times discusses the struggle she and her husband faced when their young son wanted to wear dresses to his first day of first grade. Their son showed a love for dresses when he was gifted a dress up chest full of a verity of clothing. He instantly fell in love with wearing a green halter dress from the chest. Frankel told of how she believed boys and girls could dress and play how they wish, and there were no gender specific toys. In the article Frankel explains of her struggle between wanting to protect her child from harm and harsh words of the other children, and wanting to show her child unconditional love in allowing him to be who he wanted to be. She tells of how she and her husband allowed their son to choose his own path letting him decide he wanted to wear these clothing items because they made him happy. The article focus was on not pushing children to make choices because people as parents believe these choices are best. In the end their son transitioned into their daughter and is happier than ever in her new identity.
While reading this article the main thought in my mind was, what I would do if that was me in that situation? How would I react if my child wanted to dress in the opposite sex’s clothing? A parents first instinct is to protect their children, Frankel showed this. She wanted to keep her son safe, but she wanted to allow him to express himself freely. Children often use clothing as a way to represent their personalities. Frankel expressed how her son was not every truly happy unless he was wearing his dress up dresses. She and her husband wanted to allow their son the freedom of being who he felt he truly was. I believe they made the correct choice regarding their son wearing dresses to school. Frankel talked to her son about what the other children might say or think about him, and her son told her he knew what the other children might say but he was not worried. Frankel gave her son the opportunity to be who he wanted to be, this helped him gain confidence in himself, instead of feeling bad about who he was. When a child sees their parent wants to help them express themselves, it allows the child to grow up feeling as if their parents will be there for them no matter what. If the author would have told the child “dresses are for girls, you can’t wear that!” imagine this child’s self-esteem level the older they get. Children need to express themselves in healthy ways, the child in the article was expressing her, because she no longer identifies as male, love for sparkly dresses and wanting to feel pretty. Family is there to support you and while they may not always agree with what you are doing when they come to accept that is how things are going to be it will make the transition so much easier. Frankel and her husband did this, she asked her son over and over if he was sure this is what they wanted and what did they think the other kids were going to say. Frankel even helped role play different reactions from other children furthermore showing support for child.
Although, I am sure it was not easy for Frankel, she was able to let her son embrace who he really was. It was so emotional to see how she supported him and how she let him wear the skirt on the first day of school because now her daughter is able to grow up being comfortable in her own skin. In the end Frankel supported and loved her child no matter what, and that was the best thing she could have done for her daughter.
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After reading the passage, I believe the parents did what was best for their daughter. The parents were faced with a difficult choice to make. The parents could have kept their daughter from harm’s way by making the daughter be uncomfortable on the outside but free from bullying or they could have gone with the choice they made which was to support their child. I am a strong believe in that children and anyone in general should be able to express themselves however they may see fit so long as it doesn’t cause harm to others. My response and answer would not be any different any other circumstance stance because of this. “”Are you sure?” I asked him. I asked this while he was behind me in his car seat so he wouldn’t see how scared I was” (Laurie Frankel). Although the mother was scared for the safety of her daughter, she chose to let her child express herself and that I believe made the daughter happy in the conclusion.
In the text, Frankel changes the pronouns that she uses for her daughter. Frankel does this when she believes that her daughter knows one hundred percent what she wants. After Frankel’s daughter showed Frankel that she would rather deal with the ignorance of others and that she would never look back, Frankel understood her daughter was serious (Laurie Frankel). I believe this is effective because it helps show other parents who may be questioning what to do in the same situation that although there was a lot of questioning involved, Frankel stopped the questioning at a certain point and it seemed insulting to question the daughter so much. The passage proves as a useful guide and a heartfelt read for anyone reads Frankel’s submission.
In conclusion, I believe what Frankel did was right. Although Frankel could have kept her daughter safe and not have to deal with the worry of will her child be bullied, Frankel let her daughter express herself. Parent’s want what is best for their children and so anyone could easily argue that keeping their children safe is also a great answer for a situation like this, will that truly make you and your child happy though? Frankel’s daughter stayed strong to who she was and dealt with ignorance of others at a young age. Enough pain that it would make Frankel’s daughter cry in her room. “”His eyes were wet, his fists balled, his face stormy” (Laurie Frankel). Even though Frankel’s daughter had to experience intolerance from others at a young age, Frankel’s daughter became able to be who she was on the inside and outside and the parent’s supporter their child unconditionally. The first-grade girl and her parents ended up happier in the end. Even though there were several different choices the parents were presented with when deciding whether or not to let their daughter do what she thinks is best, I believe the outcome that occurred was the best possible outcome.
-Austin Wood
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This is a very touching article and eye opening article and I like the way Frankel presented it. The account of her son’s past leading up to his first day school sets the scene perfectly for the ending. Her son was never a boy he knew from very young age who he wanted to be and I like how Frankel supported him through and through. For me this essay conveys a couple of messages. One message that I got right away is that it is always helpful to have the support of your family in making a decision and especially your mother and father. Just like it was never a debate for the son to wear a dress or pants; it was never a debate for the parents to tell their child they can’t do want they want to do. Another thing that this essay conveyed to me,aside from how easy it is for a kid to not be held back by social conventions or what people think, is how to take negative criticism and still be who you are and doing what makes you comfortable and I think that is the best way to live. Even though the essay didn’t display a lot of emotion I could still since the concern of Frankel for her child concerning what other kids would say to him. Although she was concerned she never tried to detour him and even after her fears became true she still stood by his side. One part in the essay asks the question how do you show the most love to child. By telling them I support you and whoever who want be or by saying your safety is more important than your happiness? That is a very important question and one that applies to not just situations like this but a lot of situations in life. That is a question that there is no right or wrong answer to and it is completely subjective. I personally feel that a person should do whatever makes them happy as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I think that if you are living but you aren’t doing what you want to do and you aren’t happy then you are just living a mediocre life and just going through the motion. I also think that being happy in life really depends on finding yourself and who you want to be and that is why this essay really touched me. Theres been times in my life where I wonder if I ever have a child and he/she wants to be the opposite sex or is gay or just different how would I react and I would do exactly what Frankel did and give my child options to what makes them feel comfortable. There is an ugly trend going on where we allow modern society to determine who we are and what we become. No one wants to be an individual anymore or rather, people are too scared to be the individual they want to be and I would urge those people to read this essay and learn from it.
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I think that Frankel made the right call in allowing her child to wear what clothes best suited her on the first day of school. I think that this is a hard issue to call, no matter what way it’s sliced. Not only is this an issue of parenting but also an issue of gender identity, as well. The worry that it might be a phase is prevalent. Personally, the fear that a child might not be able to accurately make the decision as to what their gender identity is for the rest of their life. It’s a hard line to cross, as, one, children are budding humans that are learning what they want and developing their personalities, but two, they may not be old enough to understand what the choice means, regardless of how sure they seem about it and how it may seem like a simplistic choice.
As someone who grew up under the scrutiny of my peers, I fear the decision so early on in someone’s life that may ultimately lead to years of ridicule and confusion. This isn’t even mentioning when puberty hits, the body is going to go through issues that aren’t normal for a young girl, and that may throw Frankel’s child for a loop. I do not in any way disagree with the decision that was made, but I can see that, depending on culture, where the person lives and how the child is raised, that problems may arise that can’t be accounted for.
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I was definitely moved by Frankel’s story. Having a daughter, myself, I will most definitely support her and any choice she makes the way Frankel and her husband did with their son. I think that by them supporting him was amazing and helped him not be afraid to be who he truly wanted to be. That is very important when children are young, they need to feel like they are loved and supported. She will now grow up to be a very confident woman and stand up for things she wants. I applaud both of them for letting her decide who she wants to be and always supporting her. From letting her wear a green dress when she was at home to taking her shopping for dresses and skirts for the first day of school.
I think Frankel expresses her feelings very well. She shows concern for her child and also shows unconditional love. She always makes sure that her son was ready for all the comments that he would get from all the other children and how he should respond to them. The Frankel’s never told their son no he couldn’t wear dresses or skirts. I would have reacted the same way the Frankel’s did with their son. I think that all parents should react the same way they did. It will show children that they should be confident within their skin and not be ashamed of who they are or want to be. Children need to be able to express themselves and experience things themselves in order to find out who they truly are. And that’s exactly what the Frankel’s did. They let their son wear dresses, skirts and grow his hair out like a girl.
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I believe Frankel is making an argument that a person should choose his own belief without being affected by other’s thought. I totally agree with her opinion that a person as an individual has the right to choose what kind of person he wants to be. I was moved by the description of her emotional family experience. In my opinion, parent are always expecting that their children will follow with their thought, their philosophy, and their ideas. As a son, my experience is that if there I have an idea that they may think weird, I would not even tell them. But I really give my great respect to the narrator since she can accept and respect his son’s choice. It is not hard to tell that even the kid’s mother felt weird about his son’s apparel. It is hard for a mother to support her son with something new that she would not even agree with. In my opinion, she does not accept the fact that his son enjoys wearing girl’s clothes. She respects the fact that as a individual human, his son has the right to choose his own belief. As a mother, she does not only accept his son’s special hobby, she also stands along side with her son to defend his dignity against other’s satire. I remember years ago, I watched a movie named “Miss Little Sunshine”. A little girl who is affected by her grandpa decides to dance “super freak” on a talent show. Her parents raised a same argument as in the essay, which is that should we protect our kids from other people’s opinion. Dramatically, when his father is ordered to take her daughter down on the stage, her whole family jumps on the stage to dance together with their daughter. In real life, we should not focus too much on how other people look at us. Being confident and being oneself is always one of the most beautiful things in the world.
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When it comes to the topic of parents’ role in gender choice, some believe that it is a parent’s job to protect their child no matter what. However, I believe that it is important to also support the child’s choice, which is the position Laurie Frankel and her husband take when they allow their first grade son to wear skirts and dresses to school. Frankel herself writes, “The question I couldn’t stop asking myself was: Do we love our children best by protecting them at all costs or by supporting them unconditionally? Does love mean saying, “Nothing, not even your happiness, is as important as your safety”? Or does love mean saying, “Be who you are, and I will love that person no matter what”?” In other words, Frankel struggles between protecting or son and supporting him. Eventually, she makes the tough, yet correct decision I believe, to allow her son to wear whatever he wants to school.
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This article talked about the Frankel parents being fair about what their child wanted to wear. They gave their son a box of dress up clothes both female and male attire and while he chose a green sparkly dress they were comfortable with his decision and with him getting more and more comfortable wearing the dress around in public. The night before first grade the mom questioned her son about if he was going to wear the dress to school, he said he did want to but then also explained to her that he knew what people were going to say and while the mother did sympathize for him she was content knowing he already knew what the future had if he did choose to wear the dress. Laurie herself did say, “Our son can go in pants and a T-shirt to school and feel uncomfortable. Or he can go in a sparkly dress and feel himself with the chance of being made fun of by classmates.” Frankel was hesitant about the situation in hand but does understand the bigger picture of her sons choices.
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Frankel made the right choice to accept her child. Nowadays most parent have homophobic fears of their child taking interest in something that relates to the opposite sex. They get the fear of their children being gay when they’re not. Parents today have to learn that when they give birth to the child, they always claim to love them no matter what. They have to learn to accept the child. These situations can be deadly as most children tend to commit suicide over this and teens too. Kids have the right to express themselves as every child is unique no matter what.
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I agree with Frankel’s standing that a parent should love and support their child in all of their decisions irrelevant of their age. I agree that there is no right or wrong way for a person to live their lives or that there is a set path for male and females beginning at childhood. However, I believe that Frankel perhaps could have been more conscious in terms of her child’s both mental and physical wellbeing. I would suggest that rather than allowing her child to go straight to school wearing a dress on the first day of first grade, she could have perhaps eased the concept of her son wearing girls clothes into the schools governing body, his teachers and his peers in order to make sure at the very least he wasn’t attacked or bullied without support that could have prevented it. I would also suggest that perhaps Frankel oversimplified the situation, she allowed her child to wear a dress in the house and then slowly started allowing him to wear it in public which if this was the child’s choice it is the correct approach in my opinion, although she could have approached the question of wether her child wanted to be a girl instead of a boy early on rather than seeming to ignore it and allowing the child to wear a dress for fun until the child seemed to decide that he was in fact a her for himself by “growing his hair out” etc.
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I agree with Frankels article, shown through Frankels own personal experience of her own child. Supporting children in their choice of how they view themselves through clothing or the gender they view themselves is vital. Providing this choice allows children the freedom they need to form their own identity. If a child is denied the opportunity to present themselves in the manner they prefer society is practically rejecting the child’s identity and who they are, which to me appears very harmful for a child’s self-esteem and the value they feel society has for them.
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I agree that parents showed support their children with anything that they do. I think that Frankel did the best he could for her children. I also agree with Trisha went above when she says that role playing was a good idea this prepared her for work for what people would say at school. There is a no right or wrong way to be. Many people are still not accepting and kind but that does not mean that they are not are child. Should we pretend to be something that we are not.
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In “From he to she in first grade” Clothes or costumes: Laurie Frankel on parenthood and gender choice, I believe Frankel made the right choice by supporting her child unconditionally. Growing up is hard enough with all the outside preconceived notions of what the general public believe everyone should be. There are no right are wrong ways,there is just what works for you and your family.In the beginning after Frankel and her husband give their child a wonderful present of costumes to encourage his imagination but little did she know there was so much more going on in her child’s head. When she does discover that it more than just dress up neither parents try to dissuade him from dressing in something that was more comfortable for him. Frankel talks about her own worries and scenarios that may or may not happen. In the end she just wants her child to be happy but to be safe in the process as her son becomes her daughter.
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I feel like Laurie Frankel was making an argument in the sense that you should let your child express themselves in what makes them happy. I think she was trying to make a point of having a positive environment for your child as they are growing up. Our identity is important, whether people might try and down play the idea or not. I really agree with how she raised her kid. While it’s not “normal” for boys to wear dresses and skirts, there is nothing wrong with it. I would rather have my kid raised to love who they are, then grow up to have gender dysphoria. I think kids should be comfortable with their gender identity and expression.
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As well as telling a story I do believe that she is stating an argument. That children should be able to express whatever gender they feel is who they are and that you should support it. Who are we to tell individuals who they really are? This story really helped me understand this problem. I myself never really understand how your brain could be wired as girl if you were biologically a boy but it really opened my eyes. I see that as a child these people really can’t help it, it is just who they are as a person.
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I personally feel that Frankel made the best decision, of course as a mother you want to do any and everything to protect your child from any harm weather its physical or verbal. The most important is that you support them unconditionally, there are going to be many people with options and many people that may not agree, and your child will get criticized. Its important that when they get home they don’t have to deal with all of that negativity, but are able to feel free and loved for who they are. I mostly defiantly wouldn’t have stopped reading at any point for the simple fact that I am a mother and I don’t always have the answers and solutions, so when I come across an article that is dealing with situations that are so important in today’s society I stop and I read and listen. I personally don’t know the emotions of Frankel and her husband but I do know that it was hard, and not because of her child but because of everyone else. Not many people teach their children about gender because they are afraid that by speaking about it may make it seem like they are introducing it as an option, like if they don’t ever speak on it then it will never be an issue for them. But in reality if you don’t teach your children and let them know that everyone is different and its okay, your causing someone’s child the same pain your trying to protect your child from.
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Frankie is making the argument that parent’s should support their children no matter what other’s may think. I agree with her argument because I feel like everyone should be able to live their lives how they please. I believe that gender roles are just a social construct and if a boy feels like he identifies with “girl qualities” then they should be able to express that. Kid’s are innocent and should never be forced to be something that they are not comfortable with or be bashed for working with their feelings. I believe that makeup, dresses, and skirts are not only exclusive to girls just as basketball, soccer, and pants are not just exclusive to boys. Parent’s should always support their kids and motivate them to be happy, because parent’s are the number one support system in a child’s life.
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While reading Laurie Frankel’s description of her son’s experience with gender identity, I did notice an unemotional tone. But I do not feel she lacked passion for her experience. I simply felt she wanted to give an accurate depiction of what happened when her son decided he identified as a girl more so than a boy. I was still very moved by her story. It is often times difficult to talk about such matters due to so many people having such varying opinions on matters such as these. However, I could still feel the love she had for her son and the concern she had for him as well. She exhibited unconditional love for her son by allowing him to be the person he feels he is. However, she still showed her protective side by preparing him for what may come in regards to the children teasing him at school for being a boy and wearing dresses and skirts. I felt moved by the open and honest manner in which she shared her story.
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I agree with Frankel, Frankel made the right choice by accepting her child for who he truly wanted to be in life. Kids have every right to be who they want to be and to be able to express themselves as who they are. He had the right to embrace himself even if he was to be bullied for being different. Frankel did the right thing for her child by letting him be who he truly felt comfortable as a girl. she was a good parent by protecting her child and letting her child embrace herself and to not force a gender on her, because she knew deep down that is what her child would have felt more comfortable as a girl.
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I agree with Sam’s argument that many people are still not very accepting of transgender children, and it begins to shed light on the difficult problem of how to prevent bullying transgender children by other children. The subject is more complicated when a parent must try to explain what transgender means to a small child and then teach them how they should teach other kids who identify as something different from them. Children are often unaware of social differences, but when they do, it can be especially challenging to teach them that being transgender is not wrong. We can begin to destroy this assumption by teaching them that being transgender isn’t weird or bad. When our society learns that gender does not have just two definitions, we can begin to make real progress. Adults cannot begin to be advocates for anti-discriminatory behavior until they can fully support the emotional needs of a child who feels that they were not born in the right body. If parents can advocate the normality of transgender identity along with our teachers, we can begin to eliminate the notion that being transgender is deserving of being pointed at and made fun of. I believe that the first step to sending anti-bullying messages about transgender children is advocating the normalcy of being transgender and destroying its taboo connotation.
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I mostly agree with Mel T. for the simple fact of, yes you are supposed to support and love your children unconditionally no matter what. The only thing is when it really comes down to your own child wanting and daring to be different, what do you do? As a parent you want to protect them at all costs, but with living a life like this it’s harder for them to accept themselves and for others to accept them.
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I’m of two minds about Aaron’s claim that parents should not allow their children to dress outside of what society says that they should wear. On the one hand, I agree that children should be kept safe from the bullying of other children that do not understand what other children are going through. On the other had I’m not so sure if protecting a child from their peers is the best way to help society grow. One reason that the child is getting bullied for dressing a certain way is that the other children do not understand why someone is dressing differently. Ultimately it is up to the parents to expose their children to the outside world and all of the things that are now socially acceptable however, if a child is never exposed then they will never know and be ignorant to the fact that some people are different from them. In the end, it is about making sure that each child is safe and if making a child conform to societal standards is what it takes to make sure a child does not get bullied, then I fully agree with Aaron’s claim that parents should not allow their children to wear opposite gender clothin
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In this article, Laurie Frankel, as a parent, is faced with the decision of whether it is best to protect her child at all costs with safety being the biggest concern, or for her child to be who they are and she will love them unconditionally regardless. Her little boy was about to go into first grade and gradually became more comfortable wearing his dress up skirts and dresses. When it came time for school to start, Frankel had to decide what was best for her child and what would make him truly happy. She decides that by allowing him to make the decision, her boy would achieve clarity in having to decide between to great options. Frankel allowed her boy to express himself and be happy and this led to him becoming who he really wanted to be.
I agree that Laurie Frankel made the right decision in allowing her boy to express himself and supporting him regardless because my experience with children and the power of allowing them to express themselves confirms it. Frankel made the right decision in allowing her boy to make his own decision in expressing himself freely even though it led criticism. By allowing him to make this tough decision, he became who he wanted to be and the lasting result was worth the temporary judgement.
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3) Lina is surely right about the difficulties of Frankel with her child converting from one gender to another because as she may not be aware, recent studies have shown, that transgenders receive a great deal of criticizing and suffering. In addition Lina also states that it is definitely worth letting them feel comfortable in their own skin and I agree with this entirely. As a parent, your number one goal should be for your kid to be happy being who they are. Though it was tough for Frankel hearing about the rude comments that were said to her little boy, at least she allowed him to express himself.
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Laurie Frankel started out parenting with the belief that her child should not be restricted to a certain type of toy or costume due to its gender. She made sure that her child had plenty of items from both sides of the toy store. When her child began to exhibit an enjoyment for dress up and theater, she was sure to get clothes from both the boys and the girls section so as to not limit the child’s creative ability. This led to her son realizing that he was happier wearing the girl’s clothes when he played dress up. He slowly went from wearing the dress only in private, to wearing it outside to places like the grocery store. When it came to the first day of his first-grade year, the boy decided that he wanted to wear dresses and skirts to school as well. The mother took her son to get some school outfits, the whole time asking him if he was sure about his decision. The boy continued to tell the mother that he knew what he wanted and was not planning to change his mind. When the school came around, the boy happily went to school wearing his dresses and skirts every day. One night, however, the boy was crying. The mom believed that it was due to bullying, but, the boy was actually crying because he thought he should have been a girl. The parents let the boy begin to grow his hair out and he soon began living his life as a girl. I believe that while the parents are right to let the child wear what she wants, they should not allow the child to do much more than social transition until an age where she can be much surer of her decisions. While one might know for sure at a young age, allowing them time to come to terms with this and know not only the physical, but the mental changes transitioning can cause. Transitioning at a young age can also lead to many problems if the child realizes that it was not the correct decision. Another point of transitioning young is that there are many different side effects of transition that a child cannot fully comprehend. The impact of these effects on the child’s adult life are not small ones.
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I believe that Laurie Frankel’s article, “From He to She in The First Grade” is a powerful example of why children should be taught that not everything is for only one gender. It is a devastating moment when a child feels like they cannot be who they want to at the risk of being made fun of. The person in the wrong is not the child who is different from the majority, but the majority is the one that is guilty of discriminating the unique. The reason people grow up to be closed-minded is because of the conservative way they were brought up. If we continue to breed a society of ignorant children, there will be many children that want to be who they truly are but feel trapped. Life is meant to be lived as a free being not a constrained one by conformist society. If everyone has to be from the same mold there would be no advancements in society, because there would never be anything new brought to the table from a fresh perspective. I think Frankel’s story should be shared at every school to show the importance of individuality and being allowed to own it. The perspective of a parent would be instinct to fear for a child that is different. This does not make the parent a monster, yet they must still support their child no matter what they want to be, as Frankel does. The parent may fear their child will be harmed, but it is important for the child to not be rejected by their loved ones because that is their greatest support system. I felt Frankel’s article demonstrated the importance of embracing individuality no matter what the majority is preaching, because in the end the majority is always going to be scared of being different from the pack.
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In Laurie Frankel’s article “From he to she in first grade”, the author faces a moral dilemma because her son loved a green dress but would only wear it when nobody was looking. Frankel asks his son what he would like to wear to the first day of school and he decides to wear skirts and dresses to school. Frankel is now faced with the dilemma of whether loving a transgender son means supporting him in whatever he chooses to do, or if she should protect her son from the backlash of societal expectations. In the end, Frankel decides to support her son by letting him wear the dress to school. I agree with the decision because she asked her son if the emotional turmoil at school would be too much, and her son told her that he does not mind it and already decided to wear it to school. If the son mentioned that the bullying would have been too much for him, then I would have chosen to not let my child wear the dress to prevent being bullied. However, doing so would also mean that she would have to suppress his creative freedom. As a parent of a transgender child, we should let them freely express their feelings to prevent them from developing a low self-esteem. Frankel also roleplayed and showed her son how to respond to insults. This was the right decision because even at a young age, the son is bound to be bullied throughout his childhood because sadly, that is how our society is. On the other hand, showing her son how to handle these insults early on in his life will help him develop a tolerance, compared to suppressing his creative freedom and not being able to truly be himself when interacting with others.
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in my opinion I can understand the concern and desire for your child to wear appropriate clothes for their gender. if it was my son wearing dresses all of the time I would probably dress him myself however when it comes to him getting older he would then dress himself and I would accept what he wanted to dress up as. however when it comes to girls wearing shorts and climbing trees I don’t really view it as the same thing.
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I don’t think that Frankel was necessarily making an argument, but I’m sure you could definitely make one out of it. As far as if I was “moved” by her story, I wasn’t moved by her story as much as others might be, but I can’t say I wasn’t affected by it. It just makes me think about how difficult a situation it could be for anyone, myself included. The ‘They Say” elements came from what she and her child thought the other kids at school would say.
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I like the fact she allowed her child to do what the wanted and didn’t force them to be something they’re not.
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I do think that Frankel was making an argument, although it was very subtle. The way that she was writing and telling us about the emotions of all of this, makes me believe that on some level she wants people to read her article and really question themselves about whether or not they would have handled it the same way the she and her husband did. Also her argument is that this is how this type of situation should be handled that you should let your child decide, give them choices, don’t tell them how they have to be. I do agree with her, I feel that if your child is serious about something as life changing as this, and they’ve taken the time to really think about it, then the decision should be theirs solely, and you should support them no matter what they choose to do.
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Im not a parent so i cant relate as well as others but i think its super cool as a parent that she didn’t force anything on him. She let her child be the person they wanted to be.I think all parents should do that
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I really enjoyed this article. It showed me that people can be who they want to be. Just like this little boy, he liked to play dress up and wear his green dress. Loved wearing it for dress up, but when people would come over, he would immediately take it off or when he would have friends over. This story really connected to me because when I was in the process as coming out as gay, my thoughts were emerging, and was thinking what would people think of me. I came out my 8th grade year, and my family started telling others, and I started to tell my friends. Today I am proud of who I am and the decisions that I have made. I believe that everyone should be who they are no matter of who or what thinks of them. Also, once you know who you are, and you are happy with yourself and expressing yourself to others, you will be much happier with not just yourself, but the way you live your life as well.
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I enjoy the idea of the mother supporting her son 100% in what he wanted to do and wear nor did she think twice about it. Which is very helpful to kids trying to find themselves, having someone support you s a great feeling. I feel that society should do the same, which is accept the things people can’t change and if one is happy that way, let them enjoy themselves. People should be more open minded to the way others express themselves without judgement because society is so harsh and cruel people are afraid to express themselves because of the consequences and outcomes of them wanting to dress like a girl or boy.
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In Laurel’s “Clothes or costume” she talks about her experience with her son and what he likes to wear. I agree with her reasoning and how she supports her son no matter what. As a parent just cause you don’t agree with something your child does doesn’t mean you shouldn’t support it. She allowed her son to dress however he wanted and even asked what he wants to wear the first day and allowed him to make that choice.
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I have wondered what it would be like to be a parent of a child who does not conform to the gender norms, so I find this story to be very interesting and heartwarming. When the parents first discover that their boy likes to wear girls’ clothing they did not know what the best thing they could do for their son. Should they encourage their son to wear the clothes he is comfortable with and face he backlash form his peers, or not let him wear girls’ clothing making him feel uncomfortable. I am glad that his parents allowed him to make the decision of what clothes he wanted to wear. His parents were encouraging when their son decided he wanted to be a girl. I would hope that all families with a similar situation can resolve gender issues in a way where everyone can be happy.
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Frankel’s essay was the inspiration for many parents. To be a parent of a transgender child is one of the hardest things in the world. To be honest I have no idea what I would do in that situation. I don’t know if I would ask my child to act according to his sex, or I would support him the way he is. I agree that what Frankel did in that situation was the right thing to do. The article shows that on the one hand parent should protect their child from the world but on the other hand, parents also should allow them to be themselves in front of the world. I have to say, the decision that child made was incredible. For the most of the people whose gender and sex line up, it is easier for them to move through this world but for the rest of people, it is harder than you can imagine. The child knows the risk of wearing a skirt in the school but he decided not to be offended by it. People’s mind tends to not like the people different from them. I believe a society is not as accepting and understanding of transgender people as it should be. I think every person in the world should be liked and loved equally with their differences.
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Frankel did the most amazing thing a parent can do with any LGBTQ+ child: love them unconditionally for who they are. From my own personal experience, when I came out to my parents as queer, they were wary at first (of course, I am an adolescent who’s brain has not fully developed and my emotions change all the time), but they supported me like any good parent would.
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I believe that Frankel’s argument is that parents need to support a child’s decision no matter what he or she chooses. I completely agree with her argument. Children should be able to express freely how they want to be expressed. A parent should not put restrictions if a young man chooses to wear dresses or if a girl decides she wants to wear action figure t-shirts and jeans. It is okay to break the typical gender roles. One does not need to follow societies typical norms. Although some individuals might see it as deviant behavior, in the end, there is no harm being done. Instead, a child is enjoying their decision that they chose and being happy with it. Now that is what matters most. Personally, I felt that Frankel did not show emotion throughout her story but I was still moved by it. I believe that it was through her actions that she showed her emotion. For instance, her constantly being worried about her child, how he would feel and the need to want to protect him from any negative feedback that can be expressed from adults and other children. In other words, her love, affection, and worry are how she expresses her feelings throughout her experience. They say elements occur when she is thinking about what society and other children will say and do. I think she integrated them well in her narrative because, in a sense, she is preparing herself for what can occur. She is mentally, emotionally and physically preparing herself. She is ready to become protective of her child. Which I can understand and am all for it. Towards the end, Frankel presents the transition from her son to her daughter. She has no negative opinion about it and supports the decision one hundred percent. While reading it I was very happy that she was supporting her daughter’s decision. In the end, Frankel made the right call. At times, parents want the best for their child and want to protect them as much as they can. However, their happiness comes into perspective first. It not one’s own satisfaction or happiness anymore. Parents need to put themselves beyond their own personal choice and see what makes their child happy. That is what matters most.
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I believe that Frankel’s argument is that parents need to support a child’s decision no matter what he or she chooses. I completely agree with her argument. Children should be able to express freely how they want to be expressed. A parent should not put restrictions if a young man chooses to wear dresses or if a girl decides she wants to wear action figure t-shirts and jeans. It is okay to break the typical gender roles. One does not need to follow societies typical norms. Although some individuals might see it as deviant behavior, in the end, there is no harm being done. Instead, a child is enjoying their decision that they chose and being happy with it. Now that is what matters most. Personally, I felt that Frankel did not show emotion throughout her story but I was still moved by it. I believe that it was through her actions that she showed her emotion. For instance, her constantly being worried about her child, how he would feel and the need to want to protect him from any negative feedback that can be expressed from adults and other children. In other words, her love, affection, and worry are how she expresses her feelings throughout her experience. The they say elements occur when she is thinking about what society and other children will say and do. I think she integrated them well in her narrative because, in a sense, she is preparing herself for what can occur. She is mentally, emotionally and physically preparing herself. She is ready to become protective of her child. Which I can understand and am all for it. Towards the end, Frankel presents the transition from her son to her daughter. She has no negative opinion about it and supports the decision one hundred percent. While reading it I was very happy that she was supporting her daughter’s decision. In the end, Frankel made the right call. At times, parents want the best for their child and want to protect them as much as they can. However, their happiness comes into perspective first. It not one’s own satisfaction or happiness anymore. Parents need to put themselves beyond their own personal choice and see what makes their child happy. That is what matters most.
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I am not a parent, so I really do not how extreme the love for a child is. I did admire how Frankel showed her dilemma of different definitions of love. Is love protecting a child at all costs, or is love accepting every aspect of a person? Maybe love is a different meaning that she does not state in her article. I consider myself as a conservative person, so I do not agree with certain lifestyles. I can easily say this because I am single and I do not have that love of a son or daughter that might change my mind in the future. I have no problems with anyone and how they choose to live their lives. I am more of a person that really tries to focus on the character of someone. If someone chooses to live a lifestyle that I do not agree with, I will never confront them or say anything that diminishes their life in any way. I personally do not see how someone living their life affects my lifestyle, so I pay very little attention to others. As stated before I judge someone based on their character, whether they are reasonable or not, whether they treat others with respect, or whether or not they can inspire me intellectually to adopt new ideas. These are the types of things I look for when I judge a person. I agree with Frankel of how she approached the situation, and I applaud for encouraging her daughter to truly be who she wanted to be. I saw that Frankel would have made similar choices to what I would have done. Frankel used a more neutral approach. Frankel did not encourage or discourage her daughter. Frankel did not try to influence her in any form, and at the end her daughter made the decision that was best for her. I also agreed how Frankel taught her daughter how to respond to other’s comment in her first day of school. It showed tact, and respect towards others even though she might not be receiving the same amount respect. By teaching her daughter on how to handle uncomfortable situations in a civil manner, Frankel is encouraging good behavior. This is developing a good character in her daughter, and I believe that character is what is most important in a person.
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In the article, “From He to She in First Grade,” author Laura Frankel goes into detail about how her 6 year old son became found of dresses and the more girly attire, and wished to go to school in that attire. She goes onto talk about how they were not against the idea, but were afraid about how their child would be treated at school. Eventually, he told them that he did not care what his peers thought of him, and instead moved on to staying the way he is. He would grow out his hair in the future, acting like a girl instead of a boy and wearing the dresses he always loved. In light of this story, I agree with Frankel’s decision to allow her child to stay the way he was. I do not believe changing him would make him and happier, and I do not see a reason why the child should have to change himself because the modern social norms say it is weird for tom girls to exist. I think it is even better to see that Frankel had supported her son all of the way, accepting him for what he was instead of trying to force him into something that he was not. To say the least, it was a moving story. Frankel was able to adequately express her feelings and her attitudes towards her transgender child in this story. Her descriptions of how it felt to be in that position tug at the heart strings, and helps convey to her audience the emotions that both her and her son were going through. If it were me in that same position, I would hope I would also choose to support my child unconditionally, and not force my own ideals, morals, or social standards onto them.
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This essay is every powerful and speaks truth. This essay helps break stereotypes for gender roles. Also, it encourages a child, teen, or adult to be one’s self.
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Frankel tells an inspiring story on she had to face a situation that most parents never think they will have to face. Frankel does a good job on telling her story in a way that show she is not angry at her son but understanding “He put on the sparkly green dress right away. In a sense, he never really took it off .”583. This story is inspiring to me because i feel it is your job as a mother to raise your child and help them to follow their dreams even if it your son wanting to become a girl. Frankel starts changing the pronouns of her son using “he” to “she” and saying “son” to “daughter”. Many parents would deny and try to push their child to be “normal” but Frankel says to be open and honest and to not hide the story of her “daughter”.
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Frankel is proposing an argument. She asks a couple of questions in her article which can lead to a very good conversation. She proposes, “Does love mean saying, ‘Nothing, not even your happiness, is as important as your safety’? Or does love mean saying, ‘Be who you are, and I will love that person no matter what’?” This topic is very widely critiqued. When it comes to the topic of gender nonconformity, most of us will readily agree that gender expression is a very big role in everyone’s lives. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of gender nonconformity. Whereas some are convince that you should express yourself as the gender you were born as, others maintain that gender expression is all about how one feels on the inside rather than what is on the outside. The standard way of thinking about this topic is the former. Frankel expresses in her article that even children already have a mindset of “Boys should not wear skirts or dresses.” At the same time that I believe children are very easily influenced by bullies, I also believe that even a child should be able to express themselves how they want to and not fear the wrath of other children.
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