Too often, the most pressing debates about gender (i.e. sexual assault, equal pay) are simplified to women’s-only issues. That’s a problem. In this November 12, 2019 YES! piece, nine people discuss our collective responsibility in these conversations and debate how men should participate in the #MeToo movement.
- All nine people featured in this conversation are responding to the same questions: “What is men’s role in the #MeToo movement, and what does a new or nontoxic masculinity look like?” Which argument did you find most provocative, and why? Respond to this argument using a template from Chapter 4.
- This piece demonstrates the real-life complexity of academic conversations. Examine the arguments presented in this piece. What is one significant point of disagreement you see among these arguments? If two people are saying different things on an issue, is only one of them right? Why do you think that? Try to reconcile the point of disagreement that you noticed, explaining how both arguments could be right. Use a “making concessions” template from Chapter 6 to frame your explanation.
- The editors of this piece made specific choices in how they represented each voice in the conversation: they used illustrations of the speakers, rather than photographs, and they chose to highlight particular information about each person’s background under their names. Why do you think they presented the people in this conversation in this way? How do these choices help establish each person’s credibility? Which voices do you think are more credible than others, and why do you think that?
- Another voice in the conversation about toxic masculinity is this 2019 Gillette ad, “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be.” Describe the argument made in this ad: what does it say about what causes toxic masculinity, what toxic masculinity looks like, and how toxic masculinity could be rectified? How is this argument similar to or different from the arguments presented in the YES! piece? What scene or image from this ad did you find most compelling? Why?
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In the Gillette ad, it is conveyed that toxic masculinity is a very common thing in society. Many people are brought up with specific beliefs that in order to be a man you need to shave, be tough, etc. It isn’t true. There are men out there that can’t grow facial hair due to genetics and it’s not something they can just magically change. The idea that people have to be tough and start arguments or engage in fights isn’t true either. Engaging in fights is immature and unsafe for everyone involved. It takes a masculine man who has the self-control to know that you shouldn’t get into fights. The more control you have over yourself the better off you will be. Toxic masculinity is often a lie that teaches young boys to not be comfortable with who they are.
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Tarana Burke acknowledges the struggles of men and that creating less toxic men starts with the environment and spaces that are available for men to open up, heal and be vulnerable. Also, mention the space that men create with their behavior, as violent and physical. Sady Doyle mentions that men need to adopt the art of listening. Men and women don’t talk on a deep level unless they are married. Tony Porter says that the term toxic masculinity brings more to the conversation and gives us a huge potential for change. Also, says that most men are not assaulters, harassers, or abusive, but most of them turn a blind eye to it and are silent about these serious things. This whole thing is about change, for the better of our society as people and not just men and women.
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I believe this article makes some assumptions that need to be addressed from the start. First, they assume that all men are bad guys and commit some amount of “toxic masculinity.” One of the people who got interviewed such as Imara Jones felt that men should solve out women and men should talk to solve the issue and better inform other men about toxic masculinity. such as not speaking up when they see women getting treated a certain way. They want to just look, watch and laugh unless their friends are around then they will speak up. But I do not believe we can just put this on men as a whole because some women nowadays will belittle a man who can express his feelings, or speaks out.
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When I started this article I felt like this is very one-sided and targeted at men only. Which it is. This article is about how men are toxic and masculine basically. And they feel like the #MeToo movement will help or benefit this characteristic. They interview and get the perspective of a total of 9 different people with different perspectives on life. Everyone has somewhat the same response to blaming men for the outcome of negative things except one person. An indigenous woman with original or old traditions. She is the only person that believes that men are here to help, protect, and support families and their children. While everyone else is stating that men are toxic and masculine. Long story short, 8 out of 9 believe that men are toxic and masculine and say that the #MeToo movement will help reduce that.
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Non-toxic masculinity is more about listening and empathizing with women about their experiences, for every different woman. Toxic masculinity is many different things, but one is when men listen to one woman’s experience and stop listening thinking every woman has the same experience. I think Sady Doyle’s argument was proactive, she helped me understand toxic masculinity more. When she explains how men and women don’t connect on a deep level anymore, she describes how it is easy for men to ignore what women go through with sexual harassment or sexual violence. Men don’t understand how wrong it is or how much it affects someone because we don’t get deep and really talk to each other anymore.
Two arguments that disagree are Tony Porter’s and Kalimah Johnson’s, Porter talks about how he supports toxic masculinity. Johnson disagrees with that, she talks about how men put pressure on women to look and act a certain way to be loved or to love themselves. They both agree that men still go through these situations and feel that men deserve the same amount of love and attention as women, but it happens more often to women rather than men.
I think seeing a photograph of a person is such a common thing nowadays, so choosing to put a sketch is a different way to show this person. The description gives credibility to these people and shows that they know what they’re talking about and what they know. I think women’s voices are more credible for this topic because sexual assaults happen daily to women, men aren’t as common.
This ad is showing that this company only supports men who can stand up for what’s right, and treat women like they deserve. Toxic masculinity is catcalling women, making inappropriate commercials like it’s normal, sexualizing women, putting others down to make them feel superior, etc. This argument is similar because they both agree that toxic masculinity needs to change. I found the scene with the commercial most compelling because it was extremely inappropriate and society would never think about doing something like that to a man but with it being women it will get more views and help whatever their selling.
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The whole idea of this article and what it portrays is that in order to keep talking about #metoo in a positive way we need to let men feel like they can share their experiences. The whole idea of men not showing emotions is critical in their involvement and in life in general. Plenty of men feel like they can’t share their experiences or be vulnerable simply because they are male and in order to have a functioning society we need to look at both sides. Men shouldn’t feel the pressure to be strong and brave all the time. A lot of people think that #metoo is just all about women, when in reality it’s the exact opposite. This movement highly encourages different people and is highly open to all sides. The whole purpose of the movement is to make people see that they are never alone and that it’s in fact okay to speak up. I think that this article does a good job showing the different sides and how we should acknowledge them more.
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This article revolves around one main question: Can we build a better man? The answer to that is yes. The #MeToo movement was created to expose the toxic-masculine traits men carry and hold them accountable for their behavior. The phrase “me too” centers around sexual harassment and assault experienced by women and femmes. The founder of the “me too” movement, Tarana Burke, states that one solution to having less-toxic men is making them feel like they can be vulnerable and heal without being judged. Kendrick Sampson urges men who have experienced sexual harassment and violence to join the #MeToo movement. Another way we can stop toxic masculinity is for men to hold other men accountable because the biggest influence on men are men. In order to have a peaceful world without patriarchy, men have to internally work on their ideology. They have to rethink misogynistic beliefs and become comfortable within their masculinity.
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In this article they have a number of different people talk about men’s place in the “Me Too” movement, and different things about toxic masculinity. Some people say that men need to take the “Me Too” movement more seriously, or that they need to be more respectful of the things that these women have gone through. Someone said that men need to have more platonic relationships with women, and have more serious one on one conversations. Another person said that me are expected to be the protectors, but they also need to be told that its okay for them to have feelings. To be emotional, to be angry, happy, or sad, or even need to cry. They need to know that that is not wrong of them to feel all of those things.
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I think that the approach of “supporting the term toxic masculinity” provides an interesting ideology. Tony said that he does this because it keeps the conversation alive and makes more people join in and give their ideas it. This provides a contreversial but also unique dynamic between a group of people discussing the subject. While many people would get mad, there are also people who would join in to see his point and tell their own which provides deeper understanding of how everyone feels.I do think that there is some discrepancy in the conversation, for example the idea that everyone is taking about it and participates. This is simply not true and may lose some of the integrity that the discussion already had. I fee as though it was a very good approach to the conversation and get the true viewpoints from each participant.
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I believe this article was both informative and inspiring. As I read through the different perspectives of people all around the country, the one that stuck the most was, Earth-Feather Sovereign, Founder of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women. She talked about how within her culture men were seen as the protectors. While carrying the title, they should be protecting their families and friends who might be experiencing sexual harassment/assault. It’s important that these men realize that just because you are seen as a protector that you can’t be in tune with your emotions, anger and sadness. But as a ally with the #metoo movement, you need to handle that anger in a healthy way. Among reading other activists point of view, it is shown that in order to get rid of toxic masculinity, men need to support and listen to the women that are brave enough to step up and take charge of their lives in the #metoo movement. Toxic masculinity traits include neglecting the victims’ story, contradicting women’s rights, and believing that women don’t deserve the same respect that men receive. By actively listening, cultivating deeper relationships with the women in your life, and building trust and respect for those around you, toxic masculinity can be on a decrease in the future.
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The multiple authors, journalists, and leaders who responded spoke about how men can have a role in the Me Too movement. The founder of the movement said it is important for men to have a role as survivors in the movement. It is a good way for men to be vulnerable and it will be less toxic. Alex Myers spoke about how he was treated before he came out as trans. He understands the experiences women have had and he believes that trans men have a spot in the movement. The rest of the article includes people talking about how men can build relationships with women and talk about the issue of harassment and assault, men should be allowed to easily get away from talking about the issue, and more. To answer the question of what a man’s role is in the Me Too movement, I think a man’s role is to listen, have a conversation, and learn. Nontoxic masculinity looks like a man who listens and talks about issues addressed in the movement. He would be more empathetic and more aware about why some actions are inappropriate.
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This article was really eye opening in seeing the ways in which men have a role in movements such as the me too one. Usually, they tend to step back or become defensive when they feel as though they are “under attack.” In reality, this only brings about more issues. Instead of fighting what women are claiming or speaking up about, they need to listen. Listening holds more power than they realize. One person discussed how men need to form more deeper platonic relationships with women. They tend to avoid opening up to women about their feelings and emotions. This allows them to remain distant from issues, as they are not hearing about them first hand and how it genuinely affects them. By creating those deeper conversations with the women in their lives, they will have the opportunity to open their minds to the more important conversations instead of just ignoring them.
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In the #metoo movement, I believe that men need to resolve toxic masculinity by standing up against the past societal standards of how men treat women. Throughout the article, “Can we build a better man?” nine people answer the question: What is the man’s role in the #metoo movement? Although each answer varied, the common thing found between all of them was how men need to take part in the #metoo movement. The article discusses the importance of non-toxic masculinity, and how men should be allowed to express their emotions in a healthy manner, not one that harms the people around them. The argument that I found the most moving would probably be Earth, at the founder of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Washington. She argues that it is okay for men to have feelings, men can cry, men can be angry, but how they deal with their anger should not be toxic.
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The reading summarizes how men are victims too that should be aided by the #metoo movement! Their most important role within the movement is to be a survivor, hopefully finding a place to reside that has a method for them to be vulnerable and healed. The article continues with how men can also create a vulnerable place for others to live, clearing the sea of violence and toxicity. It is mentioned that men do not need to withdraw themselves or steer away from the #metoo moment, but instead embrace the resource for themselves and for their peers. Methods advised were abolishing toxic masculinity, deeper platonic relationships, seek empathy within themselves, and listen. The article mentions a lot of women have been lost due to toxic masculinity
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In the article, nine people give their thoughts on what mens role should be in the Me Too movement. In the Me Too movement, the mens role is critical and essential. They should be allies of this movement and can help women in various ways. Nontoxic masculinity can help women be open about their experiences and allow them to be vulnerable when sharing their experiences. Nontoxic masculinity can be respresented by listening to women, being supportive, and setting an example for other men. Tony Porter said he supports toxic masculinity because it holds men accountable on what they should not be. Not all masculinity is toxic, and that’s what his point is. In the 2019 Gillette ad “We Believe: The Best Men Can Do,” they show toxic masculinity by showing men supporting or disregarding violence between boy and the actors in the ad saying that “boys will be boys.” They also included men sexualizing the women around them. The ad continues as the narrator states that men should be held accountable for their actions and the attitude of the men in the ad begins to change. Overall, this proves that mens part is essential in this movement in order for it to be fully effective.
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In the article, it gives men different ways to give themselves a role in the “MeToo” movement. In one example, Tarana Burke, the founder of the movement, explains that they need to include men as being potential survivors. She argues that they need to allow vulnerable spaces in order to let the men open up. She knows that the movement sometimes becomes a controversy because it can make the men feel like they’re under attack when they never did anything. She wants to educate the men on how their behavior can create bad tendencies around and allow them to learn. I agree with this statement because I understand the viewpoint of how men think they’re being attacked by the movement. Some men get defensive but they never do anything wrong to the women around them. I think that men need to acknowledge there is a type of issue present and to know when that issue is present and how to deal with it proficiently. In another testimony, Sady Doyle, a journalist and author, argues that men should focus on just listening to the experiences of women. When they listen, they are able to understand and have empathy for their experiences, which allows them to slowly break down their toxic masculinity and create better relationships with women. I agree with the idea that men should listen more and try to understand how their life would be in the shoes of a woman. Although they will never be able to actually understand the feeling, they can try to only understand women. In another testimony, written by Earth-Feather Sovereign, Founder of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women Washington, she argues that men need to be encouraged to be protective of their matriarchs, that it is ok to show feelings and to be angry but to be angry in a healthy way. She reminds men that it is because of toxic masculinity that some women are missing. She wants to encourage men to be protectors and providers and not be “domineering” and controlling but instead be a loving and caring man. Once again, I agree with this person’s statement because one main concept of toxic masculinity is that men should never be emotional and that is wrong because men are still humans and humans have emotion. Men should take care of the matriarchs since they made them into the man they are today. Men also need to see their role in society and own it but to respect the boundaries that come with it with women since we need each other in order for society to function properly.
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