In this August 2020 essay, Barbara J. King, a biological anthropologist and professor emerita at the College of William and Mary, shares the story of her child Sarah, who is nonbinary and agender. King pulls from her perspective as both a biological anthropologist and a mother to explore the cultural and linguistic resistance to nonbinary gender identity and presentation.
Barbara J. King, “My Nonbinary Child,” Sapiens, 21 August 2020
- One of the “standard views” that King responds to, both in her work as an educator and as a mother, is the binary idea of gender. Explain this “binary view of gender,” which King references in her essay. What understanding of gender does King offer instead? Identify another concept or issue that is often thought about in binary terms. How can that binary be disrupted to allow for greater nuance and complexity?
- King argues that “the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively Western.” What does she mean by this? Look up one of the examples she gives in paragraph 12 to support your explanation.
- King weaves together the personal and professional in this essay, centering her story on her child yet bringing in academic research to support her argument. Identify where she uses a quote to bring a source into the conversation, a method discussed in Chapter 3. What strategies does she use to blend her words with the words of the person she is quoting? Why do you think she keeps these quotes relatively short? What effect do these short quotes have on the tone of her argument?
- One issue King discusses is misgendering people by using the wrong pronouns. How do she and her husband handle this issue with their child Sarah? What responses have King and Sarah received from friends and family? While King argues for Sarah’s right to choose their own pronouns, others, like Abigail C. Saguy and Juliet A. Williams, have gone a step further and argued that everyone should use they/them pronouns. Read their 2019 essay, and then respond to their argument by using one of the templates from Chapter 4.
They Say I Blog 
wow is a theme that has undergone development since the beginning of humanity, however each step in time has made us sensitive and accessible to understand the diversity that exists in the world. I think that from the moment that two people come together to reproduce there must be a mental amplitude to assimilate what this fact is. aware that we are responsible, that we are going to transmit to our children about others, because if we touch on the subject of rejection towards someone non-binary we fall into discrimination. so we must start by accepting …
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if their innate gender identity may be different. Gender binary therefore focuses primarily on one’s innate identity irrespective of their anatomical features, then parents and non-binary children should focus on what internal identity their children bring, that they know to communicate and manage with their anatomy.
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1.) A better understanding of gender that King offers in her article, explains that gender in itself is non-binary. Gender is however you feel and think of yourself in your mind and not the biological sex you are born as or your body parts. The sooner we as a society accept this fact for what it is, the sooner we can have more clarification for humans who identify as non-binary and make the discussion of non-binary person’s more acceptable in today’s society.
2.) King’s argument that states, “-the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern, nor exclusively western”, means that our ideas and social construct surrounding the idea that you are only allowed to identify as a “boy’ or a “girl” is only a false sense of reality, that we as a society have created to keep people from stepping outside of a “comfort box” that society expects of humans. When you step outside of that box, society sometimes doesn’t know what to do with you or where to put you on a gender level, simply because our ideas of gender are extremely limited.
3.) King’s article includes her own personal experience with her daughter experiencing feelings of not fitting in anywhere on the very limited gender spectrum, while also adding in professional research to back her argument. One quote that king mentioned in her article that stood out to me was when her daughter asked her a simple question, which I feel sparked King’s passion for writing about this specific topic regarding her daughter. That quote is “Mom, how do you know you’re a woman?” This quote is a personal question that King’s daughter asked her, which then required an answer coming from King herself. How do you know that you’re a woman? It is an important question to ask when discussing or reading about this particular topic. I think that this quote being relatively short, but powerful, leaves us as readers to ask ourselves the same or a similar question. How exactly do you know that you are a certain gender or supposed to be or act a certain way just by the biological parts you are born with? It is important that we as readers ask ourselves the same question to help understand the article on a personal level.
4.) An easy way that King suggests to help non-binary persons like her daughter feel more accepted in society is simply asking the questions that you want to know about that person respectfully and openly. If you aren’t sure of ones preferred pronouns, it is okay to ask. King mentions that asking these questions should be more socially acceptable on the daily basis in society. If you don’t feel comfortable asking a person what their preferred pronouns are, you can always refer to that person by their name or by using they/them, as it is not gender specific and can refer to one single person and not just a group.
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King spoke on the binary view that there is either male or female. She then explained that nonbinary means that you could at times identify as male, female or nothing at all. This would open the door to the concept that there can be numerous gender identities.
Different cultures in the past have referenced to different gender identities. For example, the Native Americans called the two-spirit expressed a nonbinary identity or sexuality.
King quoted a biological anthropologist Molly Bearman. She stated that nonbinary groups “disrupt the idea that human bodies must be male or female” and “force a spectrum approach to traditional sex classifications.” This quote helps her set up the argument how the binary view restricts us in our thinking of only two options.
King and her husband correct each other when they say the wrong pronoun usage by raising their hands instead of verbally saying something. Their family and friends have had a hard time adjusting to the pronoun usage and have caused some hurt feelings. Though there is one member trying to work on this. The 2019 essay
had lots of good points in their argument. In fact, it can be beneficial for women and not just nonbinary people using them/them as pronouns.
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gender does not exist on a binary. there are so many different ways to identify, and to simplify it down to two options is absolutely asinine. King offers the idea that there is more than those two options and opens the class for discussion on those facts.
When King states that gender is neither modern nor western, it was stating that nonbinary gender has existed long before the “trend” as people call it; that it is a part of history in India, Native people, and many other cultures.
In the quotes that are used by King in this article, there is not too much detail that is gone into, seeing as there is not the entire quote from the colleague mentioned. She only uses part of the quote to extract key information and speaking points from the discussion.
Sara and her husband handle breaking the habit of misgendering their child simply by raising their hand when the other misspeaks. Their friends have not all been receptive to embracing Saras new public identity, but are willing to put fourth the effort.
i dont believe that everyone should use gender neutral pronouns. As someone who identifies as nonbinary and uses they / them pronouns, it is trans erasure in my opinion for cisgendered people to attempt to “normalize” they/ them pronouns. Cisgender people commonly overstep boundaries and speak over trans folks and it is unfair and incredibly disrespectful of cis people to the silence voices of the marginalized community.
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I feel most of the time when you discuss gender fluidity people don’t feel comfortable discussing it and I think it’s unfortunate that sex isn’t taught more in school and discussed so it’s more understood. I feel like if gender and genderfluidity were discussed then it would be much more widely accepted and understood. When I was younger I could always tell that my sibling, matt had a different personality than what their gender norms would imply they act like. I’ve seen adversity that my sibling has faced from people who simply don’t understand their ideals.
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Barbara J. King explains how gender is nonbinary. There are more ways to identify ourselves than male or female. The sooner society accepts that, the easier the topic will be in conversation.
Past cultures have practiced nonbinary expressions. King states The Native American groups labeled these gender identities two-spirit, meaning expression of nonbinary identity and sexuality.
King uses professional facts and quotes to back up her piece of writing, but keeps the main focus on her daughter. She is using these pieces of information to back up what she believes and explains what other people have gone through with the same experience as her daughter. Whenever King talked about past cultures practicing these expressions, she kept the explanation short and to the point so it didn’t take the focus off her daughter.
When King and her husband are talking to or about Sarah and they use the wrong pronoun, the other with raise their hand to let them know they used the wrong wording instead of verbally interrupting. Their family had a negative reaction to Sarah’s choice. There were hurt feelings from Sarah and her mother and the other family members. They were not respecting what Sarah wanted and it was causing conflict. The 2019 had a lot of helpful information in it. If you’re unsure about someone and you don’t feel comfortable to ask, you can refer to that person as they/them or by their name until you get some type of clarification. It’s important to respect other peoples preferred pronouns because you wouldn’t want to get mislabeled.
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Barbara J. King describes in her story how there are many different ways to define yourself as other than male and female, and how gender is nonbinary. Barbara also noted how native Americans treated gender separately when it comes to identity and sexuality. King also used facts and quotes from many different professionals to back up her point, while also keeping the main focus on her daughter. She uses the information and sources to explain the way her daughter, and others felt and experienced. King also talked about how she and her husband talked to their daughter, and how they corrected themselves during conversations, and the negative effects they had when they called her by the wrong pronoun, and how people should respect other’s pronouns.
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In “my nonbinary child” by Barbra King she tells us about how her daughter, Sarah, had come out as agender or non-binary. She tells us how her daughter has chosen the pronouns they/their because they are nonbinary. She also goes on to talk about how she would teach classes and try to get cis people to understand, that it is a hard concept to grasp. I completely agree with this part, it is a huge concept to grasp when someone was not raised with these views and it can be challenging to break using gender pronouns as she had said. Sarah has experience family members telling them to change her appearance to match her pronouns because they couldn’t’ grasp it and to make it easier for them. Which I say is crazy you should not have to change anything about yourself to please anyone.
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1) King interpreted that this “binary view” of gender is how someone views a person mostly as either male or female. King introduced the idea of the importance in the fact that Gender itself is non-binary. Gender is how you think of yourself and how you truly feel about who you are. King then explains that “gender identities are recognized as healthy, a matter of self-determination” explaining that you should see someone for who they are and the importance of being yourself.
2) What King means by this is that multiple gender identities in society isn’t something new or exclusive to where it seems most common now. She follows by mentioning the ancient drawings in Ecuador displaying something of non binary gender identities among societing, or how research showed Native Americans and hiras in India showed this way of who they are in society.
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The way Barbara J. king is explaining binary, is that a singular gender does not exist you can identify as a female, male or neither. This information is what helps with the idea that there can be multiple gender identities.
King talks about nonbinary existing in past native American cultures. This just shows how this isn’t a new phenom, but something our modern culture is having a hard time grasping.
Barbara J. King used quotes from Molly Bearman. To try and help back up her main point which is her daughter.
King and her husband did something as simple as raising their hands to correct each other when they use the wrong pronouns. Members of their family and friends have a hard time trying to adjust to the pronoun usage.There is also a member of king social group whose adjusting. This article had some amazing information. It helped me with not labeling a person with the wrong pronoun, and to communicate with a person on which pronoun they feel comfortable being used on them.
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King explained that you can identify as male, female, or both.
2.The multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively Western is a statement that nonbinary has been apart of history, especially in natives.
3.King quoted Molly Bearman an anthropologist in order to back up her main point about her daughter.
4.Sara and her husband raise their hand when one or the other misuses pronouns.
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Barbara J. King makes mention of the idea that gender is binary. Obviously, this is a commonly made error, misconstruing and oversimplifying sex and . Gender identity is simply how one feels, and can’t be limited to male and female.
King provides examples of cultures that don’t limit themselves to a binary set of genders. The Hijras, for example, are transgender people in india that consider themselves separate from male and female.
When Kings daughter first informed her of their non-binary status, transitioning to Sarah’s preferred pronouns didn’t come naturally at first. It required a change in speaking habits. A method they used to improve after any mistakes was to raise their hand to inform each other when caught using an incorrect pronoun.
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I don’t want to come off as rude or simple-minded but I believe there are only two genders and should only be two. If a human is born a gender then they should be that gender, they shouldn’t be able to change or say they are something they are not. If a boy is born with male reproductive organs than he is a boy. The same goes for girls. If you are born with the reproductive organs of a female human, then you are a girl. I don’t believe that people can change their gender. You are what you are, you can’t change it. I understand that sometimes people feel uncomfortable with themselves but, they shouldn’t go around saying they are a female if they have male genitals. I also don’t understand how a human can be non-binary or have no gender. As a human, you have to be born with some kind of reproductive organ. That is why humans exists, to reproduce, if you “don’t have a gender” how are you considered a human? You have to be able to reproduce and to do that you have to be either a male or female, there is no in-between or switching sides whenever you feel like it.
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Gender has been a quite flexible thing in both the recent past and in the current day is also once against becoming something that is also beyond. The regular binary, which king helps describe in male and females terms. Gender, she elaborates, is a very complex subject that deals more with your internal view of yourself than anything external or biological. King goes on the elaborate how gender has been seen not only as a cultural aspect but also how types of people can completely undermine the binary by being genderfluid or non-binary. In today’s modern world these issues relating to nonbinary people have only really recently been brought to light and been viewed in the public conscious however it has had a very visible impact especially with people now listing their preferred pronouns on this such as email and social media especially.
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the gender binary that barbara j king refers to is the belief that humans must be male or female. She instead offers that a person’s physical appearance may not correlate with their gender identity. she speaks about disrupting the gender binary and something quite simple we can all do to help is stop enforcing harmful gender roles and expectations. at the moment, there is pushback against the trans community or those who are gender non conforming, like a classmate on this very forum who commented something truthfully very disgusting and transphobic. had these gender norms not been enforced on her throughout her life, she too would be creating a world that is more accepting of people who do not identify with their birth sex.
king brings up the fact that the concept of gender non conformity is not exclusively western to counter a misconception that this is something new, or even a political agenda. king uses examples from other cultures to prove that there is an observable history of people who do not identify as male or female. In the country of ecuador, archaeologists have found small figurines of humans without any exclusively male or female characteristics, which point to a more than 2500 year old understanding of genders other than male or female.
king uses quotes directly from her daughter intertwined with her own personal research on gender identity. “i can’t identify a single thing that makes me a woman. i feel nothing at all.” she uses these short quotes from her daughter to insert the feelings of the personal connection to the topic of gender identity and expression and explain her support and provide evidence as to the validity of her daughter’s identity and feelings.
to help better adjust their speaking patterns to accommodate sarah’s preferred pronouns, Barbara and her husband have a system of raising their hand in the air when the other makes a mistake while speaking about or to sarah. i believe that referring to anyone, if unsure of their gender identity, using they/them pronouns can greatly improve the normalization of respecting a person’s gender identity and avoiding language that may misgender someone.
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The binary view that king refers in her essay is that it is only right that we are defined as male or female. Not doing this disrupts the idea of human bodies. King argues that “the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively western”. She simply means that gender identities are practiced everywhere especially in many cultures. It was also embraced thousands of years ago in the study of ancient figurines. King and her husband had a hard time using the correct pronouns whenever they spoke to or about their daughter Sarah. They eventually both put together a system to help each other improve their mistakes by raising their hands in the air after each mistake they make. King and Sarah also received comments from their friends and family on how Sarah came out as agender. They feel that she is going through a phase and that she will eventually get over it. At the end of the day, everyone is in control of their own lives and how they choose to live it whether a person likes it not.
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Very few of us are fortunate enough to get to study humanity like an anthropologist does. Barbara King was so fortunate and has some interesting points to make on gender identity. She says that the multiplicity of gender is not something that we are facing just now but rather something we have seen all over the world such as the Hijra in India. King also has an interesting perspective on the use of pronouns. With the use of something as easy as a hand gesture when a pronoun was misused with their child, they were able to create a safe space for their child while also helping each other learn the correct use of the pronouns as not to be rude or disrespectful.
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When King mentions the “multiplicity of gender identities” she is referring to the idea that gender identities outside of the socially accepted man or woman is not a recent development or a view only carried by Western civilization. She mentions hijras in India as an example. Hijras are people of a “third” gender community. There are about 500 thousand hijras living in India. The hijras include people who were assigned male at birth who can have various body modifications like breast implants. It can also include members who are intersex or transgender women. Hindu mythology defies them and they are seen by many as demigoddesses. In India, not only is the idea of a “third” gender identity accepted but also meeting a member of this community and receiving a gift of coin and rice is seen as a favorable sign.
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I loved how Barbara J. King had her article written. King mentions in her story how gender is nonbinary. She also mentions how there are many different ways that you can define yourself as other male and female. She even uses some sources to support her point and explains the way others have felt from her lifetime experience. I love how she even includes the show “Pose” in her article because I found the show to be highly supportive towards those who need help with becoming transformative. This show even made me want to bring out my physical characteristics and inner desires as well. I learned that In India, hijras do not fit into a binary view of gender. Meaning in India, Hindu mythology often defies them as demigoddesses.
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eeee
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sorry everyone, my posting is messed up and did not post the correct way and had erased all of my work. I have to type again.
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The binary view of gender is and has been for a long time viewed as ‘female’ and ‘male’. Distinguished by genitalia parts. This has been seen as the standard view. In Barbara King’s article she talks about how different understandings of binary identity and goes into the topic of non-binary. Non-binary is a spectrum of different varieties that are more than just ‘male’ and ‘female’. They differ in many different way. King explains that her daughter came out to her as non binary and then King went into further exploration on this subject and discovered a wider variety of non-binary identities.
2.King says that varieties of gender identities are not just modern or western. King has discovered in her research other cultures who embrace non-binary gender identities. An example of this is when King described a Native American group that celebrates and accepts non binary genders. They would call this ‘ two spirit’. They also celebrate in India they call the non binary groups ‘ hijras’ which means they don’t fit into the standard binary gender.
King turns her daughters personal testimony into a study and a learning experience not only for her, but for the readers and to educate us to understand the stance on non binary gender identity and explains what it means and how there are so many different ways to identify other than just male and female. It all started with a question from her daughter which was ‘ Mom, how do you know if your a woman’? After that question was asked King goes into her personal feelings on what her daughter has told her and tries to make sense of it and then she finds herself educating herself on the topic of non binary gender identity.
4.King discusses issues when it comes to people approaching non binary genders with the wrong pro nouns. In the article King and her husband had some solutions on how to approach non binary gender people correctly and respectfully if you do not know the correct pronouns. They suggested calling people what they wanted to be called, however a lot of people are uneducated when it comes to this sp King suggested approaching them by their name. King feels this should be accepted on a open everyday basis in society. This shows acceptance and respect to the non binary gender identity persons. If you dont feel comfortable asking a person what their pronouns are you can approach persons by saying the words ‘them’, or ‘they’.Saying these words means that they are non gender specific.
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First of all I would like to say that Barbara J. King is extremely brave for sharing her daughter’s story. King’s daughter Sarah born female reveals that their is non-binary and agender at the age of 26 meaning neither male of female. Sarah’s pronouns are they/them/theirs. King discussed that using the wrong pronouns when referring to someone is wrong. To avoid this she and husband have a system where they raise their hand to correct each other without having to verbally speak about it. I find this really smart that way it doesn’t make Sarah feel uncomfortable and it shows how important it is to them to refer to Sarah properly. Sarah’s understanding of their gender came with some backlash from friends and family members mostly disagreeing with their gender choice, saying that their confusing people because Sarah was born a girl therefore that makes them a girl. The binary view of gender that King refers to in her essay is that one is either a male or female and nothing else but to King her view on gender is that you can be either male, female or not have a specific gender.
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Sarah who was born a female then reveled at 26 she is not binary and agender. This means she is neither male or female and uses the pronouns they/them/theirs. Her mother Barbara talks about not wanting to use the wrong pronouns so her and her husband made a system. The system is when if one of them uses the wrong pronouns instead of stopping the conversation and making it obvious and potentially making Sarah unformattable they just raise there hand to correct one other.
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I will not lie, before I started this class I wasn’t really sure what any of this was. Of course I had seen some of it on TV shows; but now after reading this article I see that being nonbinary and agender is really an issue to others in the world that don’t like change. I personally don’t know anyone who has had to live with this struggle; but if I did, I would make sure to try to understand it and go with their wishes. I would never want to make someone feel ashamed of who they are. I like the fact that the parents of Sarah are so understanding to their child. The system they came up with seems to be working for them and that is amazing. It makes it so their child doesn’t have to be uncomfortable and it will help them with their new life. Having to make that type of change when your child is 26 can not be easy, but they are making it work.
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King describes the binary view of gender as male and female. She offered a different view, which is non binary, which is more than just male and female.There are many6 other cultures and traditions that use non binary to describe themselves. She then explained a Native American group that uses this, but calls it “two spirit”. This all started with King’s child asking her a question about gender. She then tells her personal feelings and explains that she did a lot of research about what non binary means. King suggests calling people by their name until they specifiy what they would like to be called.
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The sooner everyone else realizes that gender is how you feel and identify as, sex is what you were initially born as . People realize that we wont have as big of an issue with coming out and being confident in who we are withing ourselves.
This issue has been going on for a while , no one just wants to accept how people are and their personality and what THEY identify as. Its been going on around the world for years and people here in america and in the other countries just seem to not be able to accept it.
King used her own experiences to help create this post, her daughter has been in situations where she felt like she did not belong. She used personal experiences to help give us ( the readers ) a better explanation on how she felt about the current situations and things going on in this world.
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King uses the terms “binary idea of gender” which she says it means that is one of the “standard views” you see in pronoun miscommunication. She says these terms because as for King, she is an anthropologist teacher who has kids that believes there are only two genders. King and her husband handle with the wrong pronouns to their child Sarah by discussing it with their friends and family. King also discusses it by explaining it to her classes, hoping they understand the reasoning. The responses Sarah and King got from their friends and family were not the most amusing. A deeply conservative family member told Sarah, King, and her husband that “she is just going through a phase,” and that she will get over itKing uses the terms “binary idea of gender” which she says it means that is one of the “standard views” you see in pronoun miscommunication. She says these terms because as for King, she is an anthropologist teacher who has kids that believes there are only two genders. King and her husband handle with the wrong pronouns to their child Sarah by discussing it with their friends and family. King also discusses it by explaining it to her classes, hoping they understand the reasoning. The responses Sarah and King got from their friends and family were not the most amusing. A deeply conservative family member told Sarah, King, and her husband that “she is just going through a phase,” and that she will get over it.
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1.) in the article King states that gender is non-binary. That at the end of the day gender is what you feel on the inside and in your soul but not the body parts you were born with.
2.) kings argument means that the ideas of only being a boy and only being a girl creates a false sense of reality. When you step out of that box society doesnt know where you fit and thats where the backlash comes in.
3.) one thing that really caught my eye and set the pace for this article what the question Sarah asked “mom how do you know you were a woman”. I can see how Kings answer would be simple, but once Sarah comes out as non-binary, King takes it upon herself to learn and research about gender. It brings her shows that her argument is on a personal level.
4.) In the non-binary society one thing they have to constantly face is being misgendered. People will call them the wrong pronouns just because they don’t like that they are different. King wishes that it could just become second nature to ask someone and use they pronouns that they say.
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1) The binary idea of gender that King talks about is the idea that there are two distinct forms of gender that are very different and separate from each other, which results in thinking that other identities (such as nonbinary) clash with those, or are an attempt to “add more genders” to the ones that already exist. King suggests that we shouldn’t view the world through the lens of man or woman.
A concept that challenges this idea is when people are born intersex. The basis of the gender binary is completely out of the question because an intersex’s person genitals don’t exactly fit into “male” or “female.”
2) There is a common misconception that the multiplicity of gender identities is a modern, Western innovation of progressiveness. King explains that this is far from the truth. She mentions two-spirit and the hijras of India, two examples of the concept of multiple genders existing and being acknowledged in non-Western cultures.
3) “Those 26 years of habit don’t break easily; pronoun use is a ‘very deeply seated feature of language,’ according to linguist John McWhorter” is an example of King using shorter quote to introduce a source. She does this to show that there are other authorities that support her point, and she particularly uses shorter quotes that flow with her own words to strengthen this even more.
4) King and her husband deal with this by setting up a system where one signals to the other when they’ve misgendered Sarah, rather than interrupting the conversation verbally to mention they said the wrong pronouns. King and Sarah also haven’t gotten the most supportive reactions from friends and family.
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Gender fluidity is one of the most uncomfortable topics to talk about. Originally people are taught that there are only two genders. That someone is either a male or female. Now many people are starting to learn about there being more than two genders. Some people have given an open ear to this subject while others refuse to accept it. “The multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively Western.” King points out that nonbinary ideas aren’t exclusive to the U.S. and that it is all over the world. King even mentions that this has existed throughout history way before the 21st century. I feel as if people should be more open about this subject. People who don’t refer to themselves as nonbinary should at least offer an open ear.
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This was a fantastic article that I found to be inspiring and eloquently written by a mother of a non-binary child. Barbara J. King shares the story of her child Sarah who and come out as non-binary. While their mother was tremendously supportive of them, many other people were “confused” by the non-binary identity. For example, King expresses how conservative family members who do not understand or agree with Sarah’s non-binary identity, believe that Sarah was simply “going through a phase” (King). Someone even complained to Sarah that they were confusing other people by presenting female through their outward appearance. This is sad because many people fear or are downright baffled by the different gender identities. I personally have she/they pronouns, so I have encountered many of the ignorant and rude comments from other people, even family members. A faulty argument that I have noticed — and King had mentioned as well — is how people argue that using “they” in the singular is somehow incorrect grammar, even though it has been used in literature from “Shakespeare to Jane Austen”. King wrote a great article because she appealed to both the emotional and logical viewpoints on gender identity. Being an anthropologist, she has a better understanding of the history of gender identity in human history. I completely agree with her opinions in the article, and I feel that she made a strong argument for why non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals are a normal part of human society. King wrote a claim of value, which I believe made her article stronger than if she were to simply state facts from her knowledge as an anthropologist. She also did a good job in including the arguments that people have against non-binary people, which made her argument stronger. I thoroughly enjoyed this article, and it taught me more about the history of gender identity than what I have known in my own experiences.
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King’s perspective is valuable in this discussion, as her input comes from both a professional and personal perspective. Within the introduction of the article, when King’s child asked her “how she knows she is a woman”, King notes that gender is complex, and that the way one identifies comes down to an internal feeling, rather than any external factors. The way one chooses to physically present can deviate from gender norms laid out by our society, as well. King also addresses the fact that multiple gender identities are not a new concept, citing Native American and Indian cultures as historically having examples of this. In my opinion, It is clear through the factors she mentioned, that gender is not as simple as many think and that we should encourage that. I personally found this article interesting because it covers many things being discussed within my own workplace recently. There are many ways that public spaces such as schools and workplaces can incorporate resources to not only address intolerance towards nonbinary and trans people, but also educate the ignorant.
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This article offers an incredible point of view on gender. It truly is one of the most difficult and awkward things to talk about, which is a shame because of its importance. As a trans woman myself, I understand how hard it must have been for Sarah to come out to their mother, and they are fortunate to have such a supportive and affirming mom.
Non-binary people experience a lot of hate, even within the trans community. Many trans people will claim that, because they are trans and chose a gender, everyone must do the same. These people undermine the entire purpose of the trans community, and alienate their members, causing non-binary individuals to feel even more isolated than they already are. My heart breaks for how they must feel.
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King’s child, Sarah came out as nonbinary and agender. King and her husband had to make a lot of changes to respect their child and their pronouns. King and her husband came up with an effective way of communicating to each other, so they didn’t slip up Sarah’s pronouns. They both knew to raise their hand if the other had misgendered Sarah, so it wouldn’t be a big verbal disturbance. King also explains what binary gender even means. She explains that the binary people typically use only contains men and women. There are an unlimited number of genders and ways to express identity. King explains in many ways that gender is not what genitals you are born with, but gender is a way to describe who you are mentally. She knows that many people’s sex does not coincide with their gender, so gender can be physical, but it does not define one’s gender.
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Barbara recounted on her memories of her child coming out as nonbinary and agender. Sarah, who was assigned female at birth, asked their mother to start using they/them pronouns for them. This was, admittedly, a large change in Barbara’s life but she put in the work to learn and adapt. Barbara, an anthropologist, had studied gender for years. However, when something personal like her own child coming out to her happened, she gained a new perspective on gender as a whole. Barbara goes on to discuss some of her studies in foreign countries. There are many other cultures that embrace gender identities outside of the binary. For example, two spirit individuals in Native American societies who felt neither man nor woman and filled a third gender role were recognized and appreciated in society. She also discusses how to go about a situation where you don’t know someone’s pronouns. Barbara suggested to just use someone’s name when you are unsure of someone’s pronouns. She also said to just use they/them if you are unsure, since they/them pronouns are gender neutral. She spoke about a system that she used with her husband when someone would use the wrong pronouns for someone. They would simply raise their hand as to avoid verbal usage. This would make it a lot less awkward and would draw less attention to it, while still making it known that there was an error that needs to be fixed.
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The “binary view of gender” is the idea that there are two and only two genders, those being male and female. King suggests that the way you identify isn’t entirely affected by your sex, that people born with a male body can grow up to be a woman or a non-binary person. The same thing applies to people having female characteristics at birth, they can grow up to identify as any gender identity that fits them best, because though sex can have an impact on the way you identify, it doesn’t determine your gender. She says to think of gender as a spectrum rather than a strict binary of male and female. A concept I think is often taught in binary terms is the concept of right and wrong. There’s so much nuance to this concept that it’s impossible to boil it down to a simple binary. Who is someone who has not experienced what you have to tell you the decisions you’ve made are right or wrong? It’s all about your own unique personal experiences, and someone shouldn’t judge you and your actions on a binary scale like right and wrong.
What she means is that the concept of gender-diverse people did not begin 50 years ago, and that the West isn’t the only place where gender diversity is present. The term hijra is used in India to describe anyone that is not male or female.
King uses a quote from her child Sarah’s blog, in which they say they feel quote “gloriously genderless.” This quote fit in perfectly with what King was writing, which was about the term non-binary, which can mean many different things when it comes to gender, but one of the main uses of the word is to describe someone who doesn’t identify as male or female. She led up to the quote by talking about how sometimes people don’t feel a connection to male or female gender identities, and used her child’s quote as an example. I think she keeps these quotes short so the bulk of the writing is hers and not borrowed from another source or person. I think they give the tone of her argument a more community type of feel, showing that what she is saying is backed by both firsthand experience (her child’s quote) and other experts (biological anthropologist Molly Bearman’s ideas).
Anytime King or her husband misgender Sarah, the other person simply raises their hand to remind the person who misgendered them of their mistake, which is a lot more subtle than any verbal correction. Sarah and King have received mixed responses from friends and family, with many of them supporting Sarah’s decision to identify as non-binary, but some of their family and friends have criticized and judged Sarah for their choice to identify as non-binary, forcing Sarah to carry additional emotional labor as a result.
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The binary view of gender that Barbra King refers to is the misconception that there are only two genders and those two being male and female and nothing in between. In King’s article, she talks about how one’s physical appearance could possibly and may not align with their gender identity. This eventually leads her to the topic of non-binary people. Non-binary is more than just simply male or female. Non-binary is a whole range of variants that are different in their own way. King goes on to explain her daughter Sarah came out as non-binary and agender which prompted King to explore the subject.
King brings up the fact a variety of these gender identities are neither modern nor western. During her research, King learned that there are other cultures that embrace non-binary gender identities. King uses two groups as an example. One of the groups she uses as an example is a Native American group that accepts these non-binary genders and actually celebrates them. She says they would call this “two-spirit.” She also uses India as an example and talks about the call non-binary groups there hijras meaning these people don’t fit the binary.
King also talks about the issues that arise when misgendering someone. King uses her and her husband as an example. She mentions how he and she have ways how to approach people correctly while still being respectful. They suggested simply just asking someone what they prefer to be called and if that person is uneducated on this kind of stuff, King said to approach them using their name. King just feels that this stuff should be accepted no matter what.
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In the article, the woman was talking about how her child came out as nonbinary. This means that someone identifies as neither man nor woman. They use the pronouns they/them/theirs because it makes them more comfortable. The woman’s child came out to her at the age of 26. They had originally come out as queer and femme, which is a queer identity. They later on discovered that they were nonbinary. The parent described feeling dizzy at first, and then almost immediately after, she was very excepting of her child, Sarah. If going by different pronouns and having a different gender identity made them happy, the mom was okay with it. A family member kept saying that Sarah was going through a phase and kept purposely misgendering them. Sarah handled it very maturely though, and apparently now the family member is trying to do better.
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As King addresses the multiplicity of gender, one example that stood out to me was two-spirit which is seen in some Native American groups. Two-spirit may apply to gender identity in social forms or a ceremonial role in a tribe. King uses these examples to address that gender is not a modern idea but dates back centuries and is now more widely accepted and understood. By non-western, King means that gender is not only separate from biological sex in the US and surrounding areas but is seen as changing and separate even in India and other countries that are not considered to be world powers. In India, hijras do not fit in the social gender binary and the term applies overall to transgender people, intersex people, and nonbinary identities.
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This article explains the history of where gender identity all began. However, it just does not explain how it makes sense or how to understand it very well. She does explain how barbara king experienced all of it and how she dealt with it. She broke through the barriers by saying she is neither male nor female.She explains how her mother was scared to use the wrong pronouns so they made a system. They just raise their hand to show that they used the wrong pronouns. This is a beneficial way that they should teach all people. This will help people understand they messed up and not hurt anyones feelings. Most of the time people do these things on accident. This was the only beneficial part to me of this article.
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It gives us the viewpoint about how nonbinary to her means that she is genderless and Sarah said that she doesn’t feel anything when it comes to gender. A misconception about nonbinary is that it is a third gender when it could mean that they are transgender or intersex. Binary means many things and it could vary in different cultures.
When King says that a multiplicity of gender identities is not exclusively neither modern nor exclusively western, I think that she means that other cultures have gender issues that may be completely different from ours, and the idea of not being one gender has been around for many years even though it is just now becoming a prevalent thing.
A quote that King uses to support her argument is, “Disrupts the idea that human bodies must be male or female” and “force a spectrum approach to traditional biological sex classifications.” These quotes are effective because she weaves them into the part of her essay where nonbinary could mean multiple things and that there are more than 2 genders. They are short and are completely supportive of her point that gender does not mean to be male or female and that there are multiple genders you could be.
King and her husband work hard together to change their language to make sure that they use the correct pronouns to refer to their kid as. Some of their friends didn’t like what Sarah was doing but most of their family was supportive except for one family member who claimed that she must be going through a phase and that she’ll get over it. That family member would also use the wrong pronouns but Sarah handled it like an adult. I agree that people should use they/them pronouns to address someone whose pronouns they do not know. You could do this so you can make everyone feel comfortable.
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As a kid, Sarah used to ask her mom how she knew she was a woman. Barbara never knew how to answer that question. At the age of 26, her daughter Sarah came out as non-binary and agender. Although Barbara supported them, she had to learn about the different genders and remember what to call her. Soon after, Sarah claimed she was now femme, which is a form of queer I think. She feels much freer and better now that she can be herself and embrace her true identity. The binary view of gender that Barbara mentions in her essay means that there are two genders, male and female. Barbara offers another idea of gender. She explains that there are many gender identities and every individual should have the right to identify however they want. She thinks that queer and non-binary rights should be human rights.
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1.) The “binary view of gender” is the male or female gender our brains automatically assign someone as. We often determine this through biological sex, but gender is far more than what sex you are assigned at birth. The way gender should be seen is as the individual sees themselves as which includes several factors including mentally what they feel they are and how they portray themselves physically.
2.) When King explains that gender identities were neither modern or western ideas she meant that the concept had been around long before most people think it started popping up. The idea of gender identity being nonbinary came from several sources including native americans and Indian cultures.
3.) King uses short quotes in her essay to reinforce the idea that she is writing a unique paper that includes hints of work from other people. It keeps her work original and keeps the reader hooked on the paper for its entirety.
4.) King talks about the struggle she and her husband have transitioning to using they/them pronouns with their daughter. They had trouble starting out but were supportive of their child so they tried to practice their new linguistics and eventually got better and more used to using the right pronouns.
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Most popularly, gender has been seen as ONLY the male and female gender. In Barbra Kings writings she speaks about different views of binary and the different aspects of non-binary. I learned that non-binary is on a spectrum that not only includes “male” and “female”, but many others. Barbara King then talks about how her daughter came out as non-binary and how Barbra King was determined to learn more about this subject. She learned of a Native American culture who sees gender as a “two way spirit”. This helped Barbra in order to understand the non-binary concept into more depth. She has taught that there are other ways to identify yourself (as you feel comfortable with). Barbra King then begins speaking of how to approach one using different pronouns than you may presume. She believes it is most appropriate (instead of assuming) to call them by their name instead. This is used in order to maintain respect and understanding of the other person. If by chance you do not know the persons name It is most appropriate to approach them using they/them pronouns. By using these pronouns you aren’t assuming and get to maintain a sense of respect for the person.
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In the article, King explains how gender is non-binary and there is so much more than just male or female. She elaborates further on how gender is how we see and express ourselves, no matter our biological sex and what we were born with. Many who do not respect the idea of non-binary genders often think that it is new and part of our generation. When in reality, King offers examples of how pronouns and genderfluidity have been around for decades, by showing it was used in Shakespeare and Jane Austen, both classical authors. It is not only specific to American culture, it is everywhere, such as in Ecuador. It was incredibly brave for King to incorporate her child’s story into her writing and help persuade the audience. King does this by listing the facts and also giving them a real-life example of how her situation has happened. She connects intimate quotes from her child’s struggles to help the audience understand their situation from another point of view. One thing that I thought was really special was King and her husband’s way of dealing with the accidental misgendering of their child. When they misgender Sarah, they raise a hand to let the other know they messed up, because it would be a challenge when they’ve been used to different pronouns for twenty-six years. This is a less harsh way to inform each other.
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In the blog “my non-binary child” she discussed the importance of gender awareness. She first starts by sharing her on personal experience on the matter as the mother of an non-binary child she encounters first hand the adjustments and discriminations that come with being a non-binary individual. The adjustments she had to make to her life to be able to correctly treat her non-binary child are some of the things we often don’t consider when speaking to some one who doesn’t identify with the culturally acceptable binary choices. This influenced her to stress the importance to alter the idea of there only being two gender choices and to instead embed the idea of gender being a endless spectrum determined not by your biology but by who you believe yourself to be. Oftenly assumptions are made of others gender based on the choice of their clothing but in this blog she gives many examples as to why that is not always an accurate indicator of a persons gender. That then leads her to the discrimination against people of this community, they are often asked or forced to filter themselves in order to make people of the traditional genders more comfortable. This is not something they should have to do, and this is why it is important to open the minds of others and embed unlimited ideas of the gender spectrum.
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Sarah was born a female but at the age of 26 she came out as non-binary, she no longer identified as a female but not a male either. Her mom (the author) was dumbfounded and was hurt that she didn’t have a daughter anymore. She realized there was a conversation to be had, and she created a system for accidentally misgendering one another respectfully. She also discusses that violence and intolerance rates have skyrocketed especially towards the nonbinary or transgender portion of society. A way to be empathetic toward those people is to imagine yourself living through their experiences in order to truly understand one another. At the end of the day, she is proud of her child for fighting for social justice and supports her no matter what.
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Barbra J.King speaks about her child, Sarah, experience of identifying as non-binary and agender and how they have changed King’s perception of gender as a mother. When Sarah came out to their parents, King could see how more comfortable and expressive they were of themselves. King speaks about the adjustments her and her husband have made for their lives. An example of an adjustment they have made are Sarah’s pronouns. Sara uses they/them pronouns, and when one uses the wrong pronouns they raise their hand and continue with the conversation to not bring make it obvious. King goes on to explain how Sarah has taken on extra emotional labor to make their gender easier to identify for cis people. Sarah identify’s as non-binary and agender, meaning they do not identify as male or female. King has strong feelings of Sarah doing this because she knows Sarah does not need to do this and they should not worry of what others think of them. As long a they are happy, that is all that matters.
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